(See below for Update)

Jared Leto recently revealed on a British radio show that a fan once sent him a severed ear. Which he went on to prove by posting the photo on, where else, Instagram. Because apparently, that’s just the kind of loyalty bit parts in Fight Club, Requiem for a Dream, and American Psycho inspire.

By the way, Leto got his ass kicked in Fight Club, his arm amputated in Requiem, and brutally murdered in American Psycho. You wonder if his whole career is based on people wanting to kick his ass.

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Do you live near a Goodwill and/or have a dad/grandpa with a closet? Can you kind of draw Nic Cage? If you answered yes to both of these questions, YOU could make yourself a quick $80 on eBay. Just ask the enterprising jacobwrf here. Or better yet, talk to his PHAT WALLET. (Yes, there was a bid).

If he makes four of these, he could dress the entire Brookline High quiz team.

“looks good man”

Lack of commas aside, it certainly does. If the economy ran on novelty value, Nic Cage would never have gone broke from buying too many dinosaur skulls and cobra venom in the first place.

I kind of wish this jean wash could be called “Crystal Pepsi Denim.”

[ebay via this guy - thanks, Burnsy]

Ryan Gosling has always been a human cup of hot cocoa, so it only follows that his beautiful Baby Goose face would be the perfect adornment to a cocoa mug (much the same way Matthew McConaughey should be on tubes of KY). Unfortunately, this special edition Tim Horton’s mug is the only one made. The lucky guy or gal who gets to take a steaming sip of Gosling? Baby Goose himself, as it turns out.

It all started with an interview with Tribute.ca in which Baby Goose said he hoped Gangster Squad would finally be the movie that got his face on a commemorative fast-food cup (stupid Blue Valentine and their lazy tie-in department really whiffed on that one).

“I thought I might get a cup out of this deal,” said Gosling. The interviewer suggested the coffee-and-doughnuts chain would be a good fit. [Grubstreet]

It makes sense that that’s what attracted him to the project, it certainly wasn’t the script. From there, a Buffalo.com writer suggested a mug (a “Gosling Goblet”) to Tim Horton’s, and, being Canadian, Tim Horton’s came through with the above mug, gifted to Gosling. “Sure we’ll do it, eh,” Tim Horton III probably said. “But not for money, though, yeah? There’s nothing worth owning in life that you can’t suck from trees or shoot in the forest, I always say.”

The best part of drinking coffee out of a Baby Goose mug? It’s self-sweetening. The worst part is that it turns water into hummingbird feed. He’s that sweet. If more people drank out of Baby Goose coffee mugs, there’d be no war.
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Magic Mike, made out of, of course, Mike & Ikes. [via NextMovie|

MORNING LINKS
Review: The Last Stand is the St. Anger of Schwarzenegger movies |Film Drunk|

Jodi Foster goes full Aaron Sorkin at the Golden Globes |Frotcast|

Are you ready for the Harbowl...the Harbaughl...the Super Baughl? F*ck it, I'm sick of it all ready. [via Bleacher Report]

‘SNL’ Recap: Jennifer Lawrence And The Lumineers |Warming Glow|

Dave Grohl Jammed With Nirvana, Queens Of The Stone Age, Fleetwood Mac, Creedence Clearwater Revival Members |UPROXX|

The Best Questions And Most Ryan Lochte Responses From Ryan Lochte’s #AskLochte |With Leather|

10 RPGs To Look Forward To In 2013 |Gamma Squad|

Jerry Seinfeld’s Wife Loves Wale As Much As Wale Loves Jerry Seinfeld |Smoking Section|

The Ultimate Jim Harbaugh Meltdown |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

I like girls because squishy |theChive|

The 12 Hottest Fictional Presidents |Buzzfeed|

Tiger Woods ‘Re-Proposed’ To Elin Nordegren, More Importantly, These Bikini Photos |The Superficial|

Uh, Let’s Listen To Bukowski Talk About His Worst Hangover |Videogum|

10 Amazing Coffee Facts to Perk You Up |Mental Floss|

New Schwarzenegger DVD Commentary |Holy Taco|

iPhone Apps for the Socially Awkward |College Humor|

7 Horrific Visions of A Nuclear Apocalypse In Movies |Screen Junkies|

George Clooney May Have Had Cosmetic Surgery On His Balls |IDLYITW|

5 Prodigiously Talented Actors I Wish I Knew Nothing About |Pajiba|

Bench Press Fail |Clip Nation|

Katy Perry wears the old Stars and Boobs at kids’ Inaugural concert |Fark|

Jessica Chastain Vs. Jennifer Lawrence |Film.com|

Fresh Prints From Bel-Air |High Definite|

Today in Very Sad News About Scotch |Brobible|

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The above parody of this Avengers promo poster comes from artist Kevin Bolk, who explains:

I couldn’t help but notice that in most of the ad material, the guys are all in heroic stances but Black Widow is almost always in an impractical, curved-spine “booty shot” pose. Figured I’d flip it around for my lady friends out there. Seemed only fair. Them’s some strong male characters, amirite?

The only problem with this theory is that no one seems to know whether the poster being parodied is official marketing material or just fan art. Scarlett Johansson’s ass is definitely sticking out in the official character banners, but you could make a similar argument as to why the male characters’ ‘heroic stances’ so frequently involve not wearing sleeves. Everyone’s objectified in their own way. Also, maybe if Black Widow had any powers besides jiu-jitsuing people, she might get a different pose. As a jiu-jitsu practitioner myself, I can confirm that at least 85% of jiu-jitsu involves distracting your opponent with your pert, rock-hard ass. Mainly, I just posted it because I can’t get enough of the look on the Hulk’s face. That’s the sassiest asshole spread I’ve ever seen, and I’d like to think I know what I’m talking about here.

(*casually crosses off “incorporate the phrase ‘sassy asshole spreading’ into a post” on to-do list*)

[ComicsBeat]