It’s a well known fact that Michael Bay signs off all email correspondence and voicemail messages with (*explosion sound*). He won the love of his first girlfriend when he buried 34 sticks of dynamite in the shape of a heart under her lawn outside her bedroom window (killing a two cats and a racoon in the process). Point being, everyone knows Michael Bay loves explosions. Michael Bay and explosions are the Bogart and Bacall of our times. And now, much like my Steven Seagal word cloud, Frankenspace.com has created some graphs tracking Michael Bay’s love of explosions chronologically through his movies.

As you can see, Michael’s love affair with the flaming orb began early, and grew steadily until 2001′s Pearl Harbor, which had the most explosions of any Bay film to date. Sadly, it turned out to be a critical and commercial disappointment. The post-Pearl Harbor period was a time of great sadness. Like all men of great passion, Michael Bay’s larger-than-life persona and hair like a unicorn’s mane masked a sensitive soul, with emotional skin as delicate as a newborn marsupial. He retreated into fast-talking black cops and voluptuous future-ladies, but everyone knew it was only a rebound. Big boobs and black sass were always destined to be a side-piece, never a special lady. By 2007, his wounds had healed and he was ready to love again. But they eventually brought him back to health, like the sparrow fallen from its mother’s nest, and he learned to fly again. And ever since, it’s been a rising tide of explosions and box office grosses the likes of which have never been seen. Where can he go from here? How long can it last? Can explosions and box office grosses continue to climb exponentially? One thing is for certain. Some day he’ll flame out, like the white-hot corona of a massive supernova. And when he does, it will be glorious.

[Check out the full graphic over at Frankenspace]

Fresh off the news that he’s won a spot in the Guiness Book of World Records for directing “the biggest explosion on film with actors present,” reports say Michael Bay has filmed his last Transformers movie and has had enough of big-budget blockbusters.

Bay says he’s sick of receiving negative reviews from critics who dislike his movie-making style and is determined to move away from the genre. He says, “It’s easy to go shoot an art movie in a winery in the South of France. But people have no idea how hard it is to create something like Transformers. They review me before they’ve even seen the movie.”

And Bay admits that if film bosses give the go ahead for a third Transformers movie, they will have to find a different director. He adds, “After the three and a half years I’ve spent making these movies, I feel like I’ve had enough of the Transformers world. I need to do something totally divergent, something without any explosions.” [movietickets - note: I'm not sure how reliable this source is]

Michael Bay trying to live a life after explosions would make a classic fish-out-of-water reality show.  It would be like when Superman gives up his powers in Superman II, or that old State sketch where an aging pornstar becomes a gas station attendant, and keeps pulling the nozzle out and spraying the gas all over the hood.  It’ll be like that except with Michael Bay going, “What do you mean I can’t bring my tiger in here?  Now the chaps are just going to look ridiculous.  Yeah?  Yeah?  Same to you, buddy.  I wouldn’t let my tiger crap in this dump.”

This is the second trailer for The Hurt Locker, Point Break director Katherine Bigelow’s latest, centering on the Explosive Ordinance Disposal squad – basically, the bomb squad of the Iraqi occupation force.

…based on the first-hand observations of journalist and screenwriter Mark Boal [who also wrote In the Valley of Elah], who was embedded with a special bomb unit in Iraq. It is a gripping portrayal of real-life sacrifice and heroism and a layered, probing study of the soul-numbing rigors and potent allure of the modern battlefield. [Apple]

I’m torn.  There are lots of explosions, but no tits and hardly any rap metal.  If I’m going to spend 12 bucks on something, I need to know it’s going to be extreme.

You can see video footage of a building explosion in The Dark Knight over at MyFoxChicago, and a gif animation at /film.

I've been a connoisseur of fine explosions ever since high school, when a good time consisted of building a fire that we could then throw aerosol cans into. (And kids, if you try this at home, be sure to be ready to shoot the can with a shotgun, in case it just weakens in one spot and develops a leak instead of exploding – just watch for flying logs).

But did you notice that none of the buses in the foreground were damaged in this so-called "explosion"?  This had to have been an inside job. All part of Bush's elaborate plan to invade Gotham under false pretenses, no doubt. 

Thanks to reader Andrew for the tip.