These pictures aren’t that groundbreaking, but, like a handicapped pet or child, they’re mine so I love them.  They’re from the set of 4 Fast 4 Furious in Magdalena, Sonora, Mexico, and they come by way of loyal FilmDrunkard Watanabex.  You can relive all the magic of the first Fast and the Furious: look, there’s the muscle car!  Ooh, and Vin Diesel and Paul Walker!  Remember them?  They used to be movie stars!

In this installment, Paul Walker, newly released from prison, teams up with Vin Diesel and "the feds" to bring down a heroin importer by infiltrating his operation.  Later that day, Paul Walker spent his per diem on a twisty-necked Corona bottle and "Last Supper" relief made of glitter.

You know when you’re sucking your thumb after sex and you accidentally admit to something really embarrassing, like the time you crapped your pants at ballet camp?  This is kind of like that.

Yes, this is unsubstantiated rumor, and yes it is pretty out there, but this is being reported for two reasons: first, because I want people to be constantly talking about the WOLVERINE movie, since I think it will be great. And second, because for a couple of months when I was a kid, I was absolutely obsessed with Natalie Imbruglia. This was around the time that ‘Torn’ was playing every other minute on every single radio station, every day of the week. The word is that Ms. Imbruglia has auditioned and subsequently won a role in the upcoming WOLVERINE origin film.  [JoBlo]

Holy boner-filled sweatpants, Batman!  In other news, Nikki Reynolds totally had her bra strap hanging out at Starbuck’s the other day, I thought I was gonna hork!

ACTUAL NEWS UPDATE: A faithful FilmDrunkard and reputed inside source [hehe] claims Kevin Durand from 3:10 to Yuma will be playing The Blob. Set faces to stunned. 

Update: Allan has promised a free Zen and Zero DVD to anyone who forwards this interview to twenty friends - just CC promogroup@banditobooks.com on the emails and add your mailing address (US only - sorry foreigners).

This is part one of my interview with Allan Weisbecker - surfer, author, screenwriter, and former drug smuggler - a man who physically threatened John Cusack and to whom Sean Penn once wrote “I encourage you to stay (in Central America) until something that resembles death.”

He’s the author of Cosmic Banditos, perhaps soon to be a major motion picture starring John Cusack; In Search of Captain Zero, perhaps soon to be a major motion picture starring Sean Penn; and Can’t You Get Along With Anyone: Writer’s Memoir and a Tale of a Lost Surfer’s Paradise, of which I’ll be publishing excerpts here.  He’s got plenty to say, much of it supporting FilmDrunk’s suspicions about Hollywood producers vís a vís their intelligence level.  Here’s a snip:

“One assignment I turned down was based on a studio executive’s idea that a great white shark befriends a young boy. The great white is severely misunderstood; in the end the boy saves his buddy from the evil shark hunters. Sort of a cold-blooded Free Willy. The exec’s solution to the problem of how to make this believable was the following: ‘We just have to make the shark… you know… fuzzy…’”

To put it in Hollywood shorthand, Allan Weisbecker’s life story is like The Endless Summer meets Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas meets Blow meets The Player.  The best part about it is that he’s survived to tell the tale (barely), and tell a tale he can.

It took years of working in Hollywood and a critically acclaimed novel (a hilarious farce about the intersection of outlaws, quantum physics, and tequila), Cosmic Banditos, before Weisbecker wised up and realized that, even without making anything up, he was his own best character.  Ten years ago, he sold everything he owned to drive to Central America (surfing along the way, of course) in search of an old friend who’d disappeared years earlier, his last correspondence a cryptic postcard signed, “Captain Zero.”  What followed was a harrowing journey into the heart of darkness, a memoir full of swashbuckling tales of drug-running and thumbing his nose at polite society (and the consequences thereof) called In Search of Captain Zero.

In 2006, he wrote another another memoir (after its first run in the U.K. was suspended due to legal troubles, Weisbecker created his own publishing company and re-released it in August 2007), Can’t You Get Along With Anyone: Writer’s Memoir and a Tale of a Lost Surfer’s Paradise. In it, he relates the characters he deals with in the film and publishing business (who turn out to be more duplicitous than any in the drug world), the real-life thugs and murderers that have invaded his piece of paradise past the end of the road in Costa Rica, his own love problems, and the sorry state of dishonesty and denial in the world today that ties them all together. His pain is our gain when he’s pursued on all sides by lawyers, Hollywood morons, sociopaths and assorted snakes before finally writing the book that almost killed him thrice.

I emailed him out of the blue one day, and aside from proving how accessible he is to fans, the conversation that followed provided further insight into a man who’s always chasing what Hunter S. Thompson called “that maddening delusion that a man can lead a decent life without hiring himself out as a Judas Goat.”

READ ON FOR PART I: WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD

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Well folks, our prayers have nearly been answered.  A sexy reader who wishes to remain anonymous has emailed me what she claims is Uwe Boll's personal email address:  UBoll40163@aol.com.  Drop him a line and let him know I'm looking for a fight.  Or maybe just shoot him a link to my Top 10 Reasons he won't fight me.

Anonymous reader, who adds that Boll is very nice if you stroke his ego, also had a great story to tell:

I was talking to [name withheld], trying to convince him to have a Uwe Boll film night, because I thought it would be pretty hilarious for him to analyze his work. Anyways, he got all quiet and then told me that Uwe Boll cast his wife (a pretty awesome actress) in one of his films. So about a week before they were supposed to start shooting, he told her she was going to do a nude scene…she said she wasn't, he said "You will do it because I am Uwe Boll" so she told him to go fuck himself, and then he told her she would never work for him again so she laughed at him. And I guess the girl he replaced her with almost had a breakdown because when she was doing the nude scene he kept telling her how awful her body was and how he should have found someone more attractive. 

That person also happens to be a very good friend of Ben Kingsley, who was paid 2 million dollars for a 3 day shoot during BloodRayne, saying that he would have done it for like, $10 000 if it were for anyone else, and that it was the worst shoot of his life, and if given the chance, would turn down the money and just not do it.

Oh, and he hired the soup nazi to dress up as Osama bin Laden for one of his wrestling matches.

Hmm, that last part actually sounds awesomely bizarre. 

That's right, folks, our first day in existence and already we've got an exclusive.  You hear that, internet?  Grit your teeth while I make love to your man butt.

These pics courtesy of proud Teutonic warrior Nick, who writes, "Many germans aren't happy about them filming the movie - Stauffenberg's son especially said he did not approve of Cruise portraying his father. Besides, germans make movies about their history so damn well - untergang, goodbye lenin, leben den anderen etc." 

Hey, no arguments here. But honestly, Brian Singer and Chris McQuarrie making a Nazi movie?  You'd have to pay me not to see that.  

The last pic is my favorite - anywhere Cruise goes, his thetan soldiers follow (or is it anti-thetan warriors?).  What the hell do they do at those booths, anyway?