Hot on the heels of their fake trailer for Pineapple Express 2, This is the End released a real, full-length red-band trailer which you can watch below. So I guess the trick was getting me to post two trailers for the same movie in as many days. Well, played, you sons of bitches, well played. We already knew the main guys would be playing fictionalized versions of themselves in the film written and directed by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, but this latest trailer shows the full extent of the celebrity-cameo-as-joke: making appearances are Mindy Kaling, Jason Segel, Rihanna, and Emma Watson, who gets to wave around an axe and yell swear words. Oh sure, it’s high-larious when she does it, but when I do it everyone starts yelling the safe word. Thanks, Obama.

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Question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate!  This story may not be true, so we’re free to speculate wildly!  Yee haw!  Now who wants to get shot in the dark?

*roller skates up to curb, turns off flashing lights on Speedo*
Rumor patrol here, folks.  Today’s possibly true news from an unnamed source comes from IESB, who say Sony execs are not pleased with the Seth Rogen-scripted, Michel Gondry-directed comedic take on The Green Hornet.

What we’re hearing is the Sony executives are displeased with the results. The tone is too campy [A campy Green Hornet movie?  The dastard!], they’re not happy with the work from director Michel Gondry and Seth Rogen does not look the part. At all. In fact, the feeling at Sony is the movie is a disaster.

Wait, Seth Rogen doesn’t look the part of a super hero?  If only they somehow could’ve  seen this coming…  Look, I know Michel Gondry’s movies since Eternal Sunshine haven’t been amazing, but the man painted me a tranny with a bottle in its butt for $20.  Where I’m from, that counts for something.  And keep in mind, these Sony execs who supposedly think the Green Hornet film is a disaster, they’re presumably the same people who thought Bounty Hunter and Did You Hear About the Morgans? looked like feel-good thrill rides.

James McAvoy is set to star as a 25-year-old who battles cancer (hopefully with lasers while riding a puma) in a comedy produced by Seth Rogan, Ben Karlin, and Evan Goldberg (AKA “The Jew Crew”).  It’s based on screenwriter Will Reiser’s autobiographical novel I’m With Cancer.  Rogen will also have a role in the film.

They aren’t planning to title the movie I’m With Cancer, which is good, because I don’t think the word “cancer” sounds like a comedy at all.

Variety reports:

It will be the first pic Rogen and Goldberg have produced together. They penned the Judd Apatow-produced laffers Superbad and Pineapple Express and were executive producers on those films. They’re also exec producing actioner The Green Hornet at Sony.

Whoa.  Hang on.  “Laffers”?  “Actioner”?  Did this summabitch just say Superbad and Pineapple Express were laffers and The Green Hornet is an actioner?  You can’t just make up words, you wizzlscatgiraffe.  Go eat a bag of cancer.

Hmm, maybe I was wrong.  Somebody getting cancer could be funny.

~ robopanda

Okay, so technically Nic Cage is only in “early talks” to play the bad guy, but in the school of punctuation, exclamation point steals question mark’s lunch money (“Why?”  “Because!”).  Variety says Cage would play a “gangster villain” (possible name: The Forehead) in the Seth Rogen/Evan Goldberg-scripted comedic remake of the Green Hornet. Rogen is set to play the lead with Michel Gondry directing.  Cameron Diaz reportedly wants to play the love interest (though she’s 10 years older than Rogen *cougar snarl*). And they’ve been looking for a new Kato since Stephen Chow dropped out a few months ago.

Between this and his lucky-crackpipe turn in the Bad Lieutenant remake, it’s nice to see Nic Cage finally making some good career moves.  Keep in mind, this is the guy who punched a chick while wearing a bear suit, and that was in a movie where he was the hero.  As a villain, I’ll be disappointed with anything less than him rapechoking a schoolgirl while wearing the lizard tail from Fear and Loathing.  Not enough rapechokes played for comedic effect these days, I always say.

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_{This picture’s better without context, I feel.}

Last we heard about Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg’s plan for a comedic take on the Green Hornet, Stephen Chow (the Kung Fu Hustle guy) had dropped out as director and the project seemed like it was on its way to development hell.  Late yesterday, the big news was that Eternal Sunshine (one of my all-time favorites) director Michel Gondry was coming onboard (additional hipster coffee shop conversation piece: Gondry directed the first fifth episode of this season’s Flight of the Conchords).

“This story has always been close to me and now Seth and Evan have written a script that is both funny and real — the best of both worlds. I cannot wait to further collaborate with them on it.”  Gondry said. The film will begin shooting this summer and is set for release June 25, 2010. [DHD]

Is this going to be an f-d up movie?  Probably.  But that’s good.  The last thing I want to see is another half-assed superhero movie where the hero discovers his power in act one, has a showdown with his evil doppleganger in act three, and spends most of the time in between whining about his one-dimensional love interest.  Where are the gangbangs?  Where are the tiger fights?  These Hollywood fags have no vision.