Terrorists Doug Ellin and Mark Wahlberg issued a new round of threats this week, reaffirming their commitment to releasing an Entourage movie inside the US, an attack whose consequences would be catastrophic, experts say. Officials responded by tightening security at club openings, Hooterses, and men’s mag writers meetings, promising to arrest anyone caught using the phrase “hug it out, bitch,” “victory,” or “Got MILF” and hold them indefinitely as enemy combatants. Homeland Security has upgraded the Douche-Threat Level to Sunglasses at Night.

More assurances that HBO’s longrunning comedy series Entourage will spill onto the big screen with a movie, following the end of its 8-season run this fall. “If I had to finance it myself, I would do it,” executive producer Mark Wahlberg said during the TCA session dedicated to Entourage‘s final season. “I’ve been telling Doug, The Hangover is to me very much like Entourage, and look at all the recent success of R-rated movies.” Doug would be Entourage creator/executive producer Doug Ellin. “We’re going to do a movie,” he said. “We’re going to do it, the questing is when and how quickly. Hopefully we’ll come down with an idea and make it happen.” [Deadline]

I agree, Entourage is a lot like The Hangover. The only distinction I see is that Stu could’ve killed that tranny he banged, dismembered her, and buried her in the jungle, and still been more likable than anyone on Entourage. “But, Vince, what if you don’t do dat Brett Ratnah movie, who’s gonna drive us to da pool party?”

Tagline: “Time to sack up and fist-bump your destiny, queer.”

Last night was the premiere of The Other Guys, which by most accounts is a really funny movie, but of course some jerk had to go and ruin it by asking Marky Mark about an Entourage movie.  From some site I’ve never heard of:

Last night during the other premiere for THE OTHER GUYS, I got a chance to talk to Mark Wahlberg about an ENTOURAGE movie. Here is a little bit of our conversation:

Me: “Are we going to see an ENTOURAGE movie?”
Mark Wahlberg: “We got one more season, the 8th season, and then we are going to go right into the movie…if Vince survives this season”

So, we are definitely going to see an ENTOURAGE movie, and its going to begin directly after the 8th season.

I’m not sure how you take a statement that includes “if” and turn that into “definitely,” but oh well.  The important thing is that there’s a chance that we’ll someday get to see Vinny Chase and his crew of douchey, unlikable friends on the big screen.  Gosh, I sure hope that inexplicably famous C-student with no perceivable charm or talent can land a huge movie role, or else we might not ever get to see his unfunny, d*ckweed friends buy sneakers and go to beer-commercial pool parties.  Man, you guys, wouldn’t it be awesome if those dipsh*ts were us?  Haha, Lloyd, you’re such a f*g.

I enjoy the other possibility, that Vincent Chase might not survive this season.  Maybe he could get sushi poisoning?  Just throwin’ out ideas here.

America, I am disappoint.

Not only has Entourage been picked up for a sixth season, it seems they’re planning two more and then an Entourage movie.  That’s right, an Entourage movie.  I wonder if Turtle will shop for shoes lol!

At the “Lovely Bones” premiere last night in New York, Wahlberg told me that there are two seasons left of “Entourage” on TV. And then? “We’ll see, there could be more. But then, a movie.” [THR] [see also WarmingGlow]

So, that’s two seasons of Entourage, then an Entourage movie.  Then locusts, then pestilence, dogs living with cats, etc.  And as if to put the dinglecherry on this sh-t sundae, the news came from none other than Roger Friedman.

While we were talking in the Oak Room at the Plaza Hotel after the movie — in a party so full that it would have welcomed Washington’s Salahi’s  [*rimshot*] — Wahlberg must have greeted two dozen friends. The nice thing was, there was no nuttiness. He is the epitome of down to earth and accessible. There was no “entourage.”

“Are they friends from Boston?” I asked.

Wahlberg shook his head. “All my friends from Boston are either dead or in jail,” he replied. He’s said it before, so I asked: “They can’t still be in jail after all this time?”

Wahlberg didn’t hesitate. “The stuff they did, you don’t get out of jail.”

Wow, that’s deep, bro, and could you pass the paté?  I got dry toast points over here.

(He fills those gloves with Vaseline to keep his hands soft for Big Show)

If watching round-the-clock Michael Jackson coverage and reading the stories about a planned View-Master movie have brought you dangerously close to losing faith in humanity… you probably shouldn’t read the DVD charts.

The top-selling home video release for the week ending July 5 was 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment’s “12 Rounds,” an actioner that was one of the last films from the now-shuttered Fox Atomic division, launched two years ago to produce low-budget theatricals aimed at teens.  The film also managed to snag the No. 1 sales spot with estimated unit sales of fewer than 150,000 discs, according to Home Media Magazine’s market research department.

And yes, 12 Rounds was that movie starring a WWE wrestler that combined a they-kidnapped-John-Cena’s-wife plot with a madman-toys-with-the-police plot.  I think they may have even squeezed some torture porn in there.  Man, if that was number one, what was number two?

“12 Rounds” was followed on the sales chart by HBO’s season five TV DVD set of “Entourage,” which debuted No. 2 and sold nearly 87% as many copies as “12 Rounds,” albeit at a much higher list price. [THR]

Well sure, I can see that.  I saw an HBO first-look at Entourage the other day that said, “The boys are really growing up this season – Turtle has a girlfriend.”   It’s amazing, she likes shoes and hats too!  Oh my gosh, which A-list director should Vince work with next?  Let’s discuss this by the pool!  Haha, now Johnny Drama’s working on his tan.  Classic.

Brüno posed for GQ.  I dunno, these pictures seem kinda gay. |more pics here|

Paramount bought Honey Pot, from Liz Meriwether, the writer of (not making this up) Sluts and F*ckbuddies.  Plot is described as “what happens when a bunch of hot, funny women get their ‘Bourne’ on.”  I can’t wait for her next film, A Penis Entering a Vagina.  |Variety|

Leonardo DiCaprio is attached to a script about Costa-Rica based online casinos, from the writers of Rounders.  In related news, Brett Ratner is attached to a script he spilled Kool Aid on.  Seriously, can someone help get him unstuck?  That was the only copy. |THR|

Don’t believe the hype about Tarantino being asked to cut 40 minutes from Inglourious Basterds, yo.  Though to be fair, they could trim it by at least 10 minutes just by removing the extraneous letters.|ThePlaylist|

Yeah, you’ve probably already seen this, but I’m always up for a good Entourage bashing. “Dude, but there’s hot girls in it!”  Hi, I’m internet porn, have we met? |CollegeHumor|

This is a really scholarly and erudite review of James Franco’s poetry-influenced student film, and what I took away from it was that it shows a dude getting poop smeared on his face. |Movieline|

And just for fun, 8 Popular Movie Titles Over the Years. |ScreenJunkies|