So JJ Abrams’ Star Trek opens today.  That much we’ve established.  Then Current TV hosted the above video, in which a group of Storm Troopers call in an air strike from the Death Star on what looks like the Enterprise, hovering over the Golden Gate bridge.  Here’s their description:

Military force was authorized yesterday minutes after the E.T.’s 48 hour deadline had passed. The E.T’s were given an ultimatum to stop their whale poaching and leave Earth or face military action.

…Yeah.  So is this some elaborate burn by Star Wars fans on Star Trek fans?  Come on, fellas, don’t fight.  There’s no reason we should have to choose between you.  That’d be like trying to choose a favorite autistic child.  Hmm, now that I put it that way, maybe they should fight…

Here’s the real Bill Shatner giving JJ Abrams a piece of his mind vis a vis the design for the new enterprise. Holy shit, this is gonna be so controversial!

“To me it looks very much like the old Enterprise, which is terrific. It was a great design, a great, imaginative design. I gotta tell all of you, whether a window is blue or green, whether it’s up here or down there, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that… it’s ship shape.”

And he continues, in a similarly nonsensical fashion. Basically, he says the new Star Trek will be good if it’s like old Star Trek. Hey! You know what this post could use? A fight scene from the original Star Trek!
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E.W. recently released this “Exclusive First Look” at the U.S.S. Enterprise from JJ Abrams’ upcoming Star Trek movie.  Not so exclusive anymore, is it, f-ckers.

Ho hum.  This would have been so much more awesome if Michael Bay were directing.  And with that I present to you: The Enterprise as envisioned by Michael Bay.