When you buy bootleg DVDs in foreign countries (or in New York, for that matter), you never really know what you’re going to get.  Especially when it comes to things like subtitles, synopses, and DVD jacket copy.  Bootleggers pretty much grab whatever they have access to, and when they don’t speak English… well, this happens.  It’s from the back of a Year One DVD that a friend of mine who’s stationed in Iraq recently bought.  Here’s the text:

Jack Black and Michael Cera playing themselves, yeah, where was that even considered funny? Now I absolutely adore these actors, Michael was a great choice in Superbad and Juno and Jack Black has proved he can do great comedy like Tropic Thunder and a good dramatic role like King Kong, even a more calm character like he played in The Holiday. But the main problem? They have no chemistry! You have this wild outgoing maniac who is eating poop(eeeew!) and the calm awkward overly shy nerd who pees on himself(eeew!) and what do you have? Every elementary school joke that could be put into a movie, Year One could have been written by a five year old and proves that top list actors will do anything for those millions that they make.

That’s right, the copy they used to sell a movie not only came from an IMDB user review, but an extremely negative one that rated it a 1 out of 10. It was written by “kristinedrama14″, who I’m guessing is in high school.  And they left out some of the best parts of the review.  The last sentence:

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This guy made Bumblebee from Transformers out of a KFC bucket.  I think it’s best to let him speak for himself.

When I was in Grade 4 in 1988, the Transformers appeared. It’s no doubt a precious house to a child, especially in an age of entertainment-lacking. I’m lost and enjoying myself among the sounds of transforming, KUKUKAKA. I got accustomed to every characters and every events.

Every Saturday evening, watching Transforming program was the most precious time I was longing for during the week. I would like to buy everything regarding Transformers. It’s a pity that only cheapest pasters I could afford. Each time I could stand for a long while to watch transformer toys before small booth.

Later, a classmate took a toy to school. Hasbro’s Motormaster. It was said that it was very expensive, compared to other kinds of toys, for it was bought from Shanghai city.

Obviously, I would be no other than admiring and jealousness.

However, other toys cannot be mentioned in the same breath. Because its materials, style is far beyond to compare. Even I was shocked that the logo of Transformer could change its color, which is the clearest memory on my mind till now. I cannot believe that a transformer toy can be made in such an excellent level.

Chairman Mao had said that people can achieve everything he wants in case of his courage.