As the first half of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is set to hit theaters on November 19, 20-year old Emma Watson recently told London’s Sunday Times that she has enjoyed her legacy as Hermione Granger and that she wants to celebrate it instead of trying to move beyond it with edgier roles. In fact, Watson said that she is putting her foot down on two specific things – nudity and cocaine. Coincidentally, her upcoming cameo on Two and a Half Men was canceled.

Watson, who has been attending Brown University to feel normal and grounded, insists that she’s a strong actress who doesn’t need to shed her clothes for success. Oy New York Daily News, fancy a dismissive wank, guvna?

The British starlet added that she’s not “so paranoid or insecure” that she needs to shock others in order to convince them she can play a different role.

“I don’t want everyone to forget me as Hermione,” she told the magazine. “I’m really proud of her.”

But that doesn’t mean Watson is going to avoid taking risks entirely.

“I wished I’d done more naughty things,” she told the UK Sun of her time growing up on set. “Three months ago I cut my hair and at that moment I felt I became a woman.”

Yes, she cut her long hair ridiculously short so she looks like a 16-year old boy and now she finally feels like a woman. Whatever, at least she’s not complaining about being rich. Wait, what’s that, Reuters? She IS complaining about being absurdly filthy wealthy?

“By the third or fourth film, the money was starting to get … serious. I had no idea. I felt sick, very emotional. It was a real shock,” the actress told Vogue in the interview.

What did she think she was making when she was acting in all of these incredibly successful films? Skee ball tickets? If she’s so sick over her estimated $34 million fortune, then she should donate it to charity. For instance, my new “Home For Half-Naked, Coked Up Actresses.” Please make checks payable to CASH.

(LOUD NOISES!)

Here it is, the brand new trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, coming November 19th.  The whole gang is back — director David Yates, Captain Eyebrows, the ginger kid, hottie mcwhatsherface — in truth, it’s been a while since I gave a crap about a Harry Potter movie, but I’m not opposed to them. Obviously they’re still a pretty big deal.   Hence all the opera choir gasping in the background.  In this chapter, there’s some evil dude on the horizon being mean to everyone, so the old dude is all, “Harry!  Use your magic!”  And Harry’s all, “It’s too hard!  I’m just a boy!”  And then Ron Weasely comes in and he’s all, “I hate you, Harry!  Your parents are dead!  We’re not friends anymore!”  So that complicates things.  Anyway, looks good.

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I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this like I usually do, but then I noticed “Deathly Hallows Trailer” was the number one trending topic on Twitter, so here it is, the newly-released HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS TRAILER MEGAN FOX TOPLESS LESBIAN UPSKIRT #BIEBER.  Mmm, that’s good, papa needs strip club money.

If you’ll remember, they’ve split the final installment of Harry Potter into two movies, with part one opening November 19th and part two opening July 2011, both directed by David Yates, who also did the Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince.  I’m probably not the best audience for this — I went through a boy-wizard phase back in college, but that’s about as far as it goes.  Nonetheless, it’s nice to see JK Rowling, who seems to be a good writer and super inventive, succeed instead of that dope Stephenie Meyer*.  Also, with Bill Nighy, Ralph Fiennes, Alan Rickman, Rhys Ifans, Helena Bonham Burton, and Brendan Gleeson in there, there’s enough acting talent to go around, at least enough to negate what an awkward weirdo Daniel Radcliffe is.  I almost peed a little when I saw Warwick Davis, that guy’s awesome.  But could someone tell Ralph Fiennes that no one’s buying this “Rafe” business?  Your name’s Ralph, dude, enough with fancy stuff.

Anyway, even if you’re not into all this dragons and magic crap, it should be noted that Emma Watson looks like this now. I’d like to sneak into her chamber of secrets, gnome sayin’?  (*chugs Bud, spills mustard on “No Fat Chicks” shirt*)

^{*Here’s an easy comparison: just look at the character names.  JK Rowling: Neville Longbottom, Horace Slughorn, Nymphadora Tonks, Mundungous Fletcher; Stephenie Meyer: Charlie Swan, Billy Black, Renesmee, Carlisle Cullen.  I ask: which ones sound like clever, children’s book names and which ones sound like an eighth-grade diary?}

This video’s called ‘At-At Day Afternoon’, and it’s about having a Star Wars At-At for a pet.  It already has more than 100,000 views.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it was optioned for a feature by the end of the month.

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• Robopanda’s “Sixteen Intriguing Businesses.” |Uproxx|
• Warming Glow contributor Slothrop’s Whatever Happened to the Epic Miniseries? |Uproxx|
• Hip Hop country dancing is the new scariest thing.  Seriously, this is pretty effed up. |WarmingGlow|
• White devil Brian Scalabrine spits hot fire. |WithLeather|
• This cat has BIONIC PAWS.  All the better to bury its poop with. Ha, stupid cats, so dainty. (*craps on floor*). |GammaSquad|
• 30 by 30′s “A Tale of Two Escobars.” |SmokingSection|
• Crunk babies get crunk, a video compilation.  Of crunkness. |Urlesque|
• 13 songs we wish were comic books. |ComicsAlliance|
• Mmm, I love gif animations. Especially bouncing boobs and Al Sharpton dancing. Mostly the second one. |HolyTaco|
• Oderus Urungus of GWAR chooses his Top 10 War Films. |Ranker|
• Emma Watthon lookth nithe thethe dayth. |via SuicideBlonde|
• Russian airline commercials are better.  The actual planes, however, are still built by teams of drunks with no regulations. |nextround|
• The 10 best rock star film performances. |ScreenJunkies|
• I didn’t want to review Grown Ups, so I made those nerds at Pajiba do it, just like my math homework. Now put it in my handwriting, nerd! |Pajiba|
• Alex Trebek, autotuned. |FListed|

Here’s a picture from James Franco’s art exhibit.  Yep, I’m pretty sure that’s him with a wiener on his face.  That’s, like, so deep, bro. |Source|

Emma Watson (who’s been fully legal for two years now, btw) is at the top of the page because she’s set to star in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, opposite Percy Jackson’s Logan Lerman (whose name always makes me think of Thurman Merman, and then I get sad because I wish I was writing about Thurman Merman instead).  If you’re thinking that The Perks of Being a Wallflower sounds like yet another glorification of whiny loserdom, well… I’m pretty sure you’re right.  The film would be based on the 1999 Stephen Chbosky novel.

Sulk in the corner, Publisher’sWeekly:

The novel is formatted as a series of letters to an unnamed “friend,” the first of which reveals the suicide of Charlie’s pal Michael. Charlie’s response–valid enough–is to cry. The crying soon gets out of hand, though–in subsequent letters, his father, his aunt, his sister and his sister’s boyfriend all become lachrymose. Charlie has the usual dire adolescent problems–sex, drugs, the thuggish football team–and they perplex him in the usual teen TV ways. Into these standard teenage issues Chbosky infuses a droning insistence on Charlie’s supersensitive disposition. Charlie’s English teacher and others have a disconcerting tendency to rhapsodize over Charlie’s giftedness, which seems to consist of Charlie’s unquestioning assimilation of the teacher’s taste in books.

Good thing the publisher talked Chbosky out of his original title, “Whiny Pussy Who Cries & Reads Books.”