According to tumblrblogger Justin Taylor, who first posted the photo, this is Emma Watson with gay porn actor Cameron Adams, who played a version of her Harry Potter character in one of his sodomy films. (No offense to gays, I just enjoy the term “sodomy film”). They met at the MTV Movie Awards, where the crowd is always at least 50% gay porn star*. (*made-up statistic).

This is a picture of Emma Watson with gay porn star Cameron Adams, who plays Hermione Granger’s spoof character, Himmione Grainghim, in Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls. When she found out this tidbit of information, she said it made her night.

Get it? It’s Hermione Granger, but with the “hers” changed to “hims.” (The extra ‘I’ stands for ‘I work in porn because I can’t spell.”)  I imagine Himmione teams up with Schlong Weasely to battle the evil, tacky wizard, Vulvamort. See, I should be writing porn. They’re the only ones who appreciate the caliber of jokes I enjoy making.

Thank God for Voldemort Cat, he’s really the only thing that gets me excited about posting Harry Potter stuff.  Nothing against Harry Potter or people who like Harry Potter (as long as they’re not some private school quidditch assholes) — unlike Twilight, I can at least recognize that it’s well written and wildly inventive — I’m just too far out of it at this point.  Anyway, below you can watch the trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2, which opens July 15th.  Will Harry finally sneak snape into Hermione’s bumblesnatch?  Will the guy who gets to have sex with Emma Watson shout “Three points for Gryffindor!” at the point of orgasm? Find out below! Maybe!

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Adorable Harry Potter star Emma Watson (Hermione), famously enrolled at Brown University in 2009, taking great pains to fit in, even going so far as to give herself one of those unflattering haircuts only other girls like. But apparently that wasn’t enough for those other Ivy League monsters, who virtually chased her out of school with cruel Harry Potter taunts in the middle of their classes on slam poetry and butler management.

The insider says Watson didn’t shy away from class participation and often would “answer something in class and get it right,” calling the 21-year-old actress “really smart.” Unfortunately, this brought out the sophisticated wit and cinematic expertise of her Ivy League peers.  According to the source, her classmates “would respond [to her answer] with a quote from ‘Harry Potter.’” The most popular choice was “Three points for Gryffindor!”

Poor Emma.  See, your problem was going to a school filled with private-school dorks who’ve probably read every Harry Potter book and play Quidditch on the weekends.  You could always transfer to ASU, where books are like Kryptonite and the only cinema is casting couch porn.

This wasn’t the only difficulty for the actress, who said on her personal blog before entering school that she just “want[ed] to be normal.” While attending a Brown-vs.-Harvard football game in Cambridge, the pixie-haired star described being “stalked” by Harvard students in her school’s section.

Haahvahd students in the Brown section?!  Unacceptable! Ascots, everyone! We shall drum out these rogues the Brown way, with thunderous finger snaps!

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Back in my day, if a man wanted to play the popcorn trick on himself during a screening of a children’s film about boy wizards, that was a man’s right.  He wasn’t hurting anybody.  That was what we called “the pursuit of happiness.”  Well not in Obama’s America.  The Nanny State wants the government to control everything — Four Loko, McDonald’s Happy Meals, and now, it seems, your wiener.

At approximately 1:10pm, the Bluffton [South Carolina] Police Department responded to Sea Turtle Cinemas, [responding to a 911 call about] an individual that was exposing himself in the movie theater.

When officers arrived, they were directed by theater employees to a projection booth, which was playing a Harry Potter movie.  From this location, they were able to look into the back row and observe a white male touching his exposed genitals. Officers then entered the theater and identified the suspect as Alexander Ofner, 39.  Ofner was arrested for Indecent Exposure and transported to the Beaufort County Detention Center to await bond hearing. [Police Report via TSG]

Wow, dodged another bullet there, eh, Florida?  Anyway, I don’t see what the problem was.  I mean, he sat in the back row.  If you ask me, this sounds like a second amendment issue more than anything else.

Our buddy awkward Josh over at MTV recently did this fun little interview with the cast of Harry Potter and the Whatever with Wizards and Crap, where he tests their ability to speak American.  Of the four, Daniel Radcliffe (the creepy dark-haired one), Tom Felton (the creepy blond one), Rupert Grint (the creepy redhead), and Emma Watson (sugart*ts), I’d say Rupert Grint displays the most competence, which is probably for the best, since he’s a ginger and no one will ever love him.  You’d think Emma Watson would have an advantage since she goes to college in the US, but you have to remember that she goes to Brown, and everyone there has an affected, phony European accent like Madonna.

And as an Italian-American, I’m a little offended that one of the American phrases wasn’t “HEY! I’M WALKIN’ HERE, JERK OFF!”  We’re the grease that keeps this rich tapestry looking shiny, dammit.

Haha, Fauntleroy over here thinks “Boo-Ya” is a restaurant!  Yeah, buddy, just take the lorrie lift down to the loo and they’ll serve you up a fresh KNUCKLE SANDWICH you can take back to the queen.  USA! USA! USA! USA!