Remember how we spoiled the ending of The Orphan, where mini Madonna turned out not to be a child at all, but a rare, fully-grown, sociopathic dwarf hooker?  Well, after the jump I’m going to spoil Robert Pattinson and the annoying chick from Lost‘s new movie (CHAAAHLIE MY BAIBY NOOOAARR!).  It’s called Remember Me, you know the one, the one that has the commercial where the annoying chick is like, “Sorry, I don’t date sociology majors,” and  RPattz is all “Good thing I’m undecided,” and the Lost chick is like, “What are you undecided about?”  And he’s all, “I dunno, the meaning of life, my sexuality; everything.”

Yeah, we’re gonna spoil that.  Admit it, you weren’t going to see it anyway.  It might not be secret dwarf hooker worthy, but it’s still pretty juicy like my thighs.

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In Remember Me, Robert Pattinson stars alongside Pierce Brosnan, Chris Cooper, and Emilie de Ravin, who manages to be 1000 times less annoying in this than she was as Claire on Lost, when all she did was whine and cry and pout and yell and oh god I hated her.

Robert Pattinson plays Tyler, a rebellious young man in New York City who has a strained relationship with his father (Pierce Brosnan) ever since tragedy separated their family. Tyler didn’t think anyone could possibly understand what he was going through until the day he met Ally (Emilie de Ravin) through an unusual twist of fate. Love was the last thing on his mind, but as her spirit unexpectedly heals and inspires him, he begins to fall for her. Through their love, he begins to find happiness and meaning in his life. But soon, hidden secrets are revealed, and the circumstances that brought them together slowly threaten to tear them apart.

Well it’s a good thing he did this film.  It would’ve been a shame to see him get typecast as the broody emo who always falls for the wounded dove type.  Who bites her lip to indicate attraction.

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