Hey, did you think Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was a funny idea?  Well hold onto your f-cking sides, motherf-cker!

Elton John’s Rocket Pictures hopes to make the first Jane Austen adaptation to which men will drag their girlfriends [by the hair! OO WHA-A AA AA!].
Will Clark [not the former San Francisco Giant, unfortunately] is set to direct “Pride and Predator,” which veers from the traditional period costume drama when an alien crash lands and begins to butcher the mannered protags, who suddenly have more than marriage and inheritance to worry about.
The company is also in production on the CG-animated “Gnomeo and Juliet” for Miramax/Disney. [Variety]

Oh hey look, you made a cute play on words, gold star for you.  Tell your wife, tell your friends — shit, call a press conference, but don’t make us watch an entire movie about it.  And you know what the worst part about this is?  Colin Firth.  There, I said it.