The Uninvited (opening January 30th) is a remake of the South Korean horror film A Tale of Two Sisters, starring Elizabeth Banks and David Straitharn.  Basically, two sisters watch their mom die in the hospital and then find out that their father has gotten engaged to her young nurse who they think may have killed her.  I thought it looked really scary, but then I checked on Wikipedia and both the chicks in bikinis are over 18 – double score!

[IGN]

Kevin Smith has always seemed like a pretty cool dude, which is why I always felt bad admitting that I’ve never really liked any of his movies.  But the red-band trailer for Zack and Miri Make a Porno has hit the web and, dare I say, it looks pretty funny.  There are even things that happen that don’t involve two guys standing in front of a wall!

The poster at left (click to enlarge) was banned by the MPAA in the US, so will be used only in Canada.  I’d complain about the censorship, but I don’t really get it.  I’m assuming they’re trying to imply oral sex, but as my pa taught me, you have to have your genitals uncovered for that.  Otherwise it’s simple assault.

Today Empire Magazine has a new picture of Josh Brolin and Elizabeth Banks as George W. and Elizabeth Banks in Oliver Stone’s W. It shows George W. Bush as an attractive cowboy, because everyone knows our weaselly, prep-school-attending, Yale-cheerleader president is an attractive cowboy. Stone tells Empire:

“Obviously, in making the film, we discovered dimensions of humanity, and that was important,” says Stone of Dubya. “There was empathy, like Nixon. But, unlike Nixon [a previous subject of an Oliver Stone biopic], he’s more of a circular character; even now he harkens back to who he was in 2000. His speeches are the same. There doesn’t seem to be a growth. There’s a fundamental inability in the man, a King Lear kind of hubris, where he can’t admit to any fault, whereas Nixon seems to have been genuinely haunted by doubt and uncertainty.

“As a result, this is a very different type of movie. While Nixon was a very rich meal, this is more of a soufflé. And with a soufflé, you never quite know until it bakes.”

I thought I had a King Lear hubris once. I tried to squeeze it out but I ended up crapping myself. Anyway, I think what Sir Douchebag is trying to say here is that if you see this, you should get really baked first.

[via Empire, who has another new picture that I'll make you go over there to see]

The MPAA has lowered the rating for Kevin Smith’s Zack and Miri Make a Porno from NC-17 to R.  Smith received an NC-17 rating for his first cut of the film, then re-cut it, and received another NC-17.  He appealed the second rating without re-cutting, and upon second viewing, the MPAA gave it an R-rating.  The board was probably just way less horny the second time around.

Smith said the MPAA ratings board objected to two sex scenes involving co-stars Jason Mewes and [pornstar] Katie Morgan. After the movie’s initial NC-17 rating, Smith said he trimmed those scenes as far as he was willing to go but was unable to convince the board to lower the rating.

"They felt it was rather sexually graphic. My point is, it was comically graphic. All the sex in the movie with the exception of one scene is very cartoonish, very campy," Smith said. "It wasn’t designed to titillate."

The appeals board, a separate panel from the ratings board, viewed the movie Tuesday, and Smith presented his arguments. It was the third time Smith successfully talked his way down to a lower rating: His 1994 debut "Clerks" initially received an NC-17 rating that was reduced to an R on appeal, while his 2003 film "Jersey Girl" was reduced to PG-13 after first being rated R. [AP]

Phew. Not only would an NC-17 rating have been commercial suicide, it would’ve robbed our nation’s youth of the kind of witty, incisive commentary on pop culture events from 20 years ago for which Smith is known.  Okay, now in this scene, two people are gonna sit in front of something…

The strange thing about Kevin Smith is that, though I’d probably pay money just to hear him stand onstage and tell stories, I’m fairly indifferent to most of his movies.  (Except for Chasing Amy, which gives me the overwhelming urge to choke a bitch).  His new movie, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, starring Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks, has a new teaser out (watch it after the jump) and I have to say it looks like more of the same. 

For one thing, the plot sounds a lot like Porno by Irvine Welsh and The Amateurs.  For another, the most interesting part of the porn world (the pornogosphere?) to me is not the amateurs or the auditions, it’s the day-to-day interaction between the grizzled (jizzled?) veterans.  Like when you’re watching a two-on-one scene and one guy pulls out for a pop shot and it starts dripping on the other guy’s balls.  It just seems like that kind of thing would lead to really awkward watercooler conversation the next day.  I see a Ricky Gervais sketch…

If you hate YouTube, you can get the trailer in other formats here.