UPDATE 10:41 ET: This version should work:

Piranha 3D had its release date pushed back to August because of money problems at The Weinstein Company, but despite reports saying they might not be able to afford 3D,  the trailer still says “Piranha 3D.”  It’s pretty much what you’d expect — tits, piranhas, Christopher Lloyd, etc. — it basically writes itself.  The plot is that everyone, even Eli Roth, has come out for a wild time at Spring Break at Lake Victoria, except *record snatch* it’s filled with piranhas.  “Lake Victoria” is an odd choice, because the only Lake Victoria I know of is in Africa, which, as I read in National Geographic for Xenophobes, isn’t so much a Spring Break destination as it is a rape destination, or a parasites crawling up your pee hole destination.  Now that I think about it, that actually does sound like Spring Break.

[hat tip: ScreenJunkies]

After the jump, you can watch all six minutes of Nation’s Pride, the fake Nazi propaganda movie within the movie Inglourious Basterds.  It was directed by Eli Roth, and it’s pretty good as far as fake Nazi propaganda made to look like real Nazi propaganda but not really by a Jew in 2009 goes.  I think if 2009 U.S. had a propaganda minister like Germany had Goebbels in the 40s, it’d be Michael Bay, and all his films would star the cast of Jersey Shore.  And the marquee said “Fist Pumpin.”

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(Squinting at the guy on the left, Pitt thought, “Pfff, you think you can sneak an Asian stand-in past me?  I bang my girlfriend in front of a Cambodian kid.”)

Waiter? I’ll have a kickass movie with my 8-ball, please.

Inglourious Basterds is the tongue-in-cheek WWII epic Tarantino would’ve written in ’95 or ’96 if he’d been doing more coke back then. Which is to say it’s classic Quentin –- ballsy, bloody, eccentric, with multiple interconnected stories coming together just so –- but not without the excessive talk that almost ruined Kill Bill 2 and made Death Proof his least enjoyable movie to date. (I’d rather date Jackie Browne, she puts out). The dialog isn’t excruciatingly mundane this time, but just because the words are smart and thought provoking doesn’t mean there couldn’t have been less of them. Tarantino is a savant in the way that he can nail certain aspects of human nature, even within an intricate, whacked-out plot (without being able to spell! How the hell does he do that?). But at times it feels like he deals with self-editing the way an autistic deals with spontaneity.
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Tarantino went on Stern earlier today, and, as usual, frankly revealed a veritable line of facts, many kilo bytes of information.  And after the bump — er, jump — you can watch a video that’s making the rounds today of Tarantino’s favorite 20 movies of the past 17 years.  He picked some movies that really rock.

Anyway, here’s one of the items Quentin told Stern:

Pitt recently told Bill Maher he no longer smokes weed, for the kids’ sake. Was he telling the truth?
“Quentin said that things eventually ended and he went to his hotel. He said that Brad had this big brick of hash and he was going to give him some for the night. He said that Brad whipped out a knife and cut up a big sliver for him and the stuff was pretty good. He said that he asked for a pipe to go with it and Brad handed him a Coke can to use instead. Quentin said that would make for a great scene in a movie and he may have to use that.”

Oooo, well look at Mr. Fancy Shmancy with his brand name soda can bong.  Back in my day we had to settle for a Dr. Thunder bong out of the quarter pop machine at Walmart.

Here’s a quick summary of some of the other things Tarantino revealed on today’s episode of TMI, with Quentin:

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The Weinstein Co has released the trailer for Nation’s Pride, a Nazi propaganda film-within-a-film which you’ll apparently get to see bits and pieces of during Inglourious Basterds.  The Nation’s Pride trailer was actually directed by Eli Roth, who also contributed the Thanksgiving trailer (video below) that played in the middle of Grindhouse.  I like Eli Roth because he emailed me once.

The Nation’s Pride trailer, which purports to tell the story of fictional Nazi hero Fredrick Zoller (Daniel Bruhl), is a little odd in that it doesn’t really attempt to look like a German propaganda film at all.  It’s also in English, and at one point has a title card that says “crowned in gloury” — a meta-joke about Tarantino’s inability to spell, I presume.  Or maybe the entire film takes place in an alternate history, like Watchmen, only in Inglourious Basterds, pretty much everything is the same except that stuff is spelled differently. And Jews are all handsome and cool like Brad Pitt. Yes, those dyslexic Weinstein brothers are sure to love this one, Quentin whispered to his typewriter.
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