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THIS WEEK ON THE FROTCAST: I debut a few clips from the Quentin Tarantino roast, we talk about going to Weezer’s “Memories” tour concert (Pinkerton edition), discuss the intense Afghanistan war doc Restrepo (definitely check that out), and bring on our friend Lindy West to play the brand new Armond White game, as an homage to our favorite thesaurificent contrarian cantankerating film critic.  As an extra treat, I’m including a clip of Eli Roth at the Tarantino Roast.  Even with all the comedians there, I thought he was the funniest.

• Tarantino roast stuff starts at 4:15 of the above clip [just to clarify, this roast is not being televised, so these clips aren't spoilers or anything.]
• Jeff Ross at 8:00 – 12:00
• Sarah Silverman destroys Jerry Lewis 16:25 – 18:00
• Weezer Concert, Brendan’s theory of how concept albums are like drunk uncles: 22:00 – 30:00
• Talking Restrepo: 37:00
• The Armond White Game with Lindy West Intro: 52:00 – 55:00; game begins 55:20 – 1:33:00

DOWNLOAD IT HERE. SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES.

SUPER MEGA BONUS ELI ROTH CLIP:

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A few weeks back, there was this cool/funny clip going around the internet, a fake movie trailer for “Clown,” which was kind of like a horror version of The Santa Clause if, instead of Santa, Tim Allen turned into a clown. (The part where the clown hair keeps growing back really hit home for me).  The credits at the end of the trailer said “directed by Eli Roth”, and while Eli Roth had nothing to do with it, putting his name on it got the guys who did make it a meeting with him, and now Roth is producing the full-length version. And if they didn’t celebrate over cocaine, everything I thought I knew about Hollywood is wrong.

For ‘Clown’ creators Jon Watts and Christopher Ford, it actually ended up netting them a meeting with Eli Roth, Cross Creek Pictures president Brian Oliver and Vertebra Films head Steven Prince. Roth, Oliver and Prince not only liked what they saw, but they clearly liked what they heard and so they’ve agreed to fully finance and produce a feature length version of ‘Clown’ for Ford to write and Watts to direct. From the press release:

“I was blown away when I saw that CLOWN trailer,” Roth said. “Everyone thought it was real, or that I had at least made a fake trailer. I called the guys right away and their first response was ‘Thank you for not suing us!’ I said ‘Sue you? Let’s make this into a real film!’ They are incredibly talented, smart guys ready to make their feature debut.”  [Moviefone]

I hope the plan is for the movie to be sort of tongue in cheek and comedic, because that was the best part of the trailer.  (Also, Extremo should be involved in some capacity).  It’s sad, but these days, a 70-second YouTube clip has a much better chance of landing you a movie deal than a whole script, which no one has time to read. Or maybe I’m just jealous that it never seems to work out this way for my Diora Baird fan fiction. And don’t tell me it’s because no one has the budget for a full-grown cuttlefish, man, that’s a total cop out.

Here’s today’s trade-news round up.  It’s not all retarded, but it mostly is.

Adam Sandler’s real movies are worse than his fake movies, plus, Al Pacino. Al Pacino and Katie Holmes are set to join Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill,” in which Adam Sandler plays Jack and his twin sister, Jill, who shows up for Thanksgiving and then won’t leave.  Holmes will play Sandler’s wife and Pacino will play himself, in a script from the writer of Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  (*90-minute mouth fart*). This will be the cinematic equivalent of a glass-bottom boat. |HollywoodReporter|

Eli Roth working on a full-length version of Thanksgiving, based on his Grindhouse trailer.  I really like this idea.  Mainly because that Judy chick seems like a real slut. |CinemaBlend|

Oscar the Death Cat. So there was this cat in a nursing home who would start hanging out with old people right when they were about to die, who supposedly correctly predicted the deaths of more than 50 people.  A doctor at the home wrote a book about it, and now the story is becoming a movie.  I don’t really know where you go with a movie about a cat that can predict old people dying any more than you could with an old man’s knee that could predict the weather, but I think a buddy flick about Oscar the cat that kills old people and the dog that hates blacks could be cool. |GordonandtheWhale|

Ghost Rider 2 happening, with Nic Cage, in 3D.  Unfortunately, they’ll have some technical kinks to work out first as the first guy who tried to capture Nic Cage’s forehead on a 3D camera traveled through a worm hole and ended up in a Victorian-era opium den.  |IESB|

This clip never gets old:
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People send me links to movies’ viral sites all the time, but I rarely cover it because viral marketing is generally stupid.  I love The Dark Knight, but I couldn’t give less of a sh*t about your pretend campaign to elect Harvey Dent the mayor of a fictional city.  And you’re still a marketing douche, so stop acting like you’re Lenny Bruce.

That said, Piranha 3D is doing it right.  After I posted the trailer yesterday, reader Brendan discovered this viral site (NSFW).  It’s basically a fictionalized Girls Gone Wild with Jerry O’Connell playing the Joe Francis character.  There’s also a Facebook page with pictures of Eli Roth’s wet t-shirt contest emcee guy who looks like Channing Tatum’s Jewy cousin from back east.

Jerry O’Connell is his usual not-funny-but-trying-really-hard self, but I give the people behind this a lot of credit for making the whole thing really explicit.  The Meet the Girls section is especially boob-filled, and a lot of the girls look like they came from that strip club near the airport where my stepmom works.  …And I like that.

So if you’re one of the guys planning a viral marketing campaign, remember: straitlaced, unfunny backstory of fictional characters = who cares; explicit, funny, vulgar material you wouldn’t be allowed to show anywhere else = you’re doing it right.

UPDATE:  Yep, the article actually says ERIC Roth.  I’m an idiot.  Carry on.

All my life I’ve been dreaming of the day that the guy from Apocalypse Now and Lonesome Dove would finally get together with the dude from Cabin Fever and Hostel, and it seems that day is finally upon us.  Hall, meet Oates.

Get Low star and executive producer Robert Duvall said during today’s junket that Crazy Heart director Scott Cooper recently met with Brad Pitt about directing The Hatfields and the McCoys for Warner Bros….if and when Pitt decides to clear a place in his schedule. An excellent script about the legendary family feud of the 1800s has been written by Eric Roth, Duvall said. Pitt’s Plan B would produce with Pitt playing “the main guy,” Duvall said. Duvall would costar, and T-Bone Burnett would do the music. [HollywoodElsewhere]

All this time, I think all that Eli Roth’s dialogue was missing was someone like Robert Duvall to deliver it with the full gravitas it was intended.  (Gravitas.)

HARMON MCCOY: What’s that rifle for, Randolph?

RANDOLPH MCCOY:  Killin’ Hatfields.

HARMON MCCOY:  Why would you wanna kill Hatfields?

RANDOLPH MCCOY:  I reckon ‘cuz they’re gay.

HARMON MCCOY:  Randolph, don’t be a f*cking retard.