Reese prepares to stab the misbehaving elephant with her chin

The best part of Water for Elephants was the way the elephant never actually drank water, only whiskey and lemonade. But aside from that, a major thrust of the plot dealt with animal cruelty, with Christoph Waltz’ cruel circus headmaster trying to goad gentle veterinarian Robert Pattinson into whacking the titular elephant with a barbed stick called a bull hook, as was the traditional method of animal training (as well as wife training) at the time (Pattinson’s character found a way around this when he learned that elephants speak Polish, but that’s another story).  A few days ago, a group called Animal Defenders International released a video (below) purporting to show Have Trunk Will Travel, the group that provided the elephants for the movie, training the animals with electric shocks and those same bull hooks. Oh the irony.  What gives, Have Trunk Will Travel?  No one over there speaks Polish?

Animal Defenders International has released an undercover video from 2005 showing an elephant it identifies as the same one that appeared in the movie apparently being beaten with hooks and shocked with stun guns.

The heavily edited videoclip contains a sequence of brief scenes backed by mournful music. In one scene, an elephant make a loud noise while performing a headstand as a trainer appears to deliver an electric shock.

Have Trunk Will Travel strongly defended itself in an emailed statement, describing Animal Defenders as an “extremist group” with “a history of using less than honest means to achieve their goals.”

“If there was truly any abuse going on why wait six minutes, much less six years?,” owners Gary and Kari Johnson said.

Gary Johnson told Reuters Television last month that Tai, the 42-year-old Asian elephant who stars in Water for Elephants, was very well treated.

The studio said a representative of the American Humane Association was on the set throughout production, but Animal Defenders said that was beside the point.

“I don’t think it’s good for anyone to say, ‘I didn’t see any abuse in my presence,’ because you’re not going to,” Animal Defenders president Jan Creamer told Reuters. “You have to look at the whole life experience of the animal.” [TelegraphUK]

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Water for Elephants. Opens April 22nd. Directed by Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend), adapted by Richard LaGravenese (Fisher King) from Sara Gruen’s best-selling novel, starring Reese Witherspoon, Christoph Waltz, and Robert Pattinson.

The first thing I thought upon leaving my screening of Water for Elephants was, “Hmm, how ashamed should I be for liking the new Robert Pattinson movie?”  I’ve never secretly torn through a trashy romance novel before, but I imagine the feeling is similar.  Trust me, I certainly shared your pre-conceived reservations about Greezy Reese Withersoon, her supposed faux-erudite obnoxiousness, and her scary dagger chin; Robert Pattinson’s Hartnettian squintitude and association with the Twilight franchise.   But before I knew it, I was swept up in a world of elephants! Circus freaks! Midgets! Whores! Tramps riding the rails! Jolly winos! Italian street vendors! Lions! Tigers! Christoph Waltz chewing scenery!

You damned circus hucksters, you know my distaste for cheesy romance is no match for my love of 30s carnie talk!

R-Pattz plays Jacob Jankowski, who begins the film older, as a sad, nostalgic Hal Holbrook pouring his guts out to a stranger, which always makes me go a big rubbery one. OH NO, HE’S HOLDING A BLACK AND WHITE PICTURE!  STAND BACK, THE OLD MAN’S ABOUT TO REMINISCE!  Damn Hal Holbrook and his old sad eyes, they could sell me anything!

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(Pictured: The newest ride at Thai Disneyland)

I can’t believe I haven’t seen Ong Bak 2 yet, but I’m putting it on my Netflix queue today because after the jump I’ve got the trailer for Ong Bak 3.  I can’t see them out of sequence, the plot probably wouldn’t even make sense.  Anyway, the trailer contains much of what we’ve come to expect from Ong Bak, namely Tony Jaa elbowing people and doing stunts on an elephant.  And you know it’s a real elephant too, because this is Thailand, and they don’t stand for none of that prepackaged, American fake-elephant bullsh*t.   It’d be nice if we were still back in the good old days, before pansy actors and their Jew lawyers drove real elephants out of the business.  It’s an outrage, really makes you want to gore somebody.

Ong Bak 3: Because an elephant never forgets… TO KICK YOUR ASS!

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Between sizzle reels, featurettes, and various trailer cuts, I know I’ve already posted a lot of Ong Bak 2 stuff, but if you don’t still drop everything at the chance to see Tony Jaa knee people in the face and backflip off elephant tusks, I’m not sure we can be friends.  The film, supposedly sporting a tighter recut, will be premiering on On Demand September 25th and will get a limited theatrical run starting October 23rd.

Midway through filming, it was reported that Jaa, who handled directing duties for the first time in his career, had walked off the set in order to meditate in the jungle.  When he refused to come back and finish the film, the financial backers kidnapped his favorite elephant, Xing-Xing, whom Jaa had been given the sacred duty to protect by the shaman of his village.  “Now, let this rogue come to us,” said the studio head, stroking his pet iguana.  And that’s when Tony Jaa rode in on a cheetah and kicked everyone in the face.  His foes vanquished, Jaa turned to Xing-Xing and the cheetah.  “Now, friends, let us rejoice,” Jaa said, smiling, and they danced to the music of their ancestors.*

^{*Second half of story recreated from imagination}

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God, what would FilmDrunk be without goofy pictures of Nic Cage?  Check out these new stills from the chick puncher/alleged Chihuahua thief’s upcoming movie, Bangkok Dangerous (you can read the rundown here).  He’s not wearing a bear suit in any of them, but he might as well be.  I think that scene in Wicker Man where he’s trying to look incognito amongst a procession of young girls while wearing a 6’5” bear costume has become a metaphor for his career.  “Shhh, I’m disappearing into this role.  Don’t tell anyone it’s me.” 

I’m not posting all 45 pics from RopeofSilicon, my source, but I’ll give you enough to get a taste of his creepy forehead.  I’m convinced that at some point the skin on his scalp was torn off and the doctor just painted his skull flesh colored.

This one might be my favorite.  The elephant’s staring at Cage as if someone just slipped it a peanut laced with angel dust.  Yeah, elephant, we see it too.