I’m usually not a fan of sequels, but given Eastern Promise‘s twist ending*^(spoiler) and the fact that it kinda stopped in the middle of the second act, it might be kind of cool.  Deadline reports that Viggo Mortensen and director David Cronenberg are both set to return for the sequel, but only after they work together on the Talking Cure, about Sigmund Freud.

Knowing that all movies are in 3D now, this can mean only one thing.  That’s right, a naked, 25-minute, Viggo-Mortensen-wiener-flopping knife fight scene in 3D.  I. Can’t.  Wait.  I won’t even have to do the wiener-in-the-popcorn-box trick, because the popcorn will already be full of Viggo Mortensen’s wiener, thanks to the 3D technology.

*At the end, we learn Viggo is actually a spy working under license from the British Government to infiltrate the Russian mafia, just like I did last summer between ballet camps.

At the end of Eastern Promises (SPOILER ALERT), we find out Viggo Mortensen’s character is really an undercover British agent.  Between the open ending and the fact that Watchmen and Forgetting Sarah Marshall exposed America’s appetite for full-frontal male nudity (dudity), the time is ripe for a sequel.

“We are moving forward with it,” Cronenberg told MTV News in an exclusive chat. “We all are excited about the idea of doing a sequel.”

The “we” includes Mortensen, who was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for his role as Nikolai; the film’s screenwriter, Steven Knight; original producer Paul Webster; and original studio, Focus Features.

“We are going to have a meeting very soon between me, Steve Knight and Paul Webster to discuss what the script would be,” Cronenberg said “If all goes well, Steve goes away and writes a great script. If we all like it, we make it.”

I’m a Cronenberg fan, but Eastern Promises was far from his best work.  In this day and age, there’s just no excuse for poorly choreographed fight scenes.  I know a thing or two about naked fights to the death in a Russian bath and I demand realism dammit.

This is the part where I tell you what's coming out this weekend.

Resident Evil: Extinction: Pluses – Milla Jovovich, Zombies  Minuses – Studio banned the media from the pre-screenings. I'll bet you $10 it sucks. But if you're going to see it, you're obviously not worried about losing $10.   

Good Luck Chuck: Pluses …  Minuses – If you see this movie you will burn in hell for all eternity. I can't must the energy to bash Dane Cook anymore. Jessica Alba sucks. She's a horrible actress, her hotness is overblown, and she used the word "bidness".  I'm sick of her and i want her to go away. There, I said it.

Sydney White:  I liked it better when it was called Village of the Damned. Wholesomeness creeps me out. Plus, I'm boycotting every All That-related movie until they kick Kenan Thompson off of SNL.  

Eastern Promises: David Cronenberg, Viggo Mortensen, Russian gangsters. Count me in. 

David Cronenberg's Eastern Promises (in full release this Friday) beat out Juno for the top prize at the Toronto film festival.  

The film follows the mysterious and ruthless Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen), who is tied to one of London's most notorious organized crime families. His carefully maintained existence is jarred when he crosses paths with Anna (Naomi Watts), an innocent midwife trying to right a wrong, who accidentally uncovers potential evidence against the family.

The guy who did Scanners and a History of Violence (you know a scene is great when it kicks ass even when dubbed over in French) doing a Russian mob movie?  Count me in.  

Though if no one 's head explodes, I'll be demanding a refund.  A David Cronenberg movie without exploding heads is like a Jerry Bruckheimer movie without blacks acting stereotypical.