Behold, the giant molester bunny of the magic space Jew resurrection.  I’m not worried about the little girl though, she’s young, but her instincts are already dead on. -Thanks for the tip, Guy.

MORNING LINKS

• 99 Hilarious, Ironic And All-Around Strange Church Signs. |Uproxx|
• Will U.S. Online Poker Players Get Their Money Back? |Uproxx|
• Tom Hardy is handsome.  What’s new. |GammaSquad|
• Who Did It Better: Original Or Remake? |WarmingGlow|
• On Looking Back At Blake Griffin’s 200 Dunks. |SmokingSection|
• The Dugout: Luck Be A L.A.DY |WithLeather|
• Best Of Respawn Jesus. |Buzzfeed|
• Local news is retarded.  That is all. |TheDailyWhat|
• Seven videos of people beatboxing while doing other things. |HolyTaco|
• Sabrina Maree has large, shapely breasts. |GorillaMask|
• Jennifer Lopez is an A-hole. |WWTDD|
• Bus stop fight at Rutgersfest. |BostonStool|
• Rachel Bilson in a bikini. |TheSuperficial|
• Here’s to you, naked hippie dancing by himself. |NYCStool|
• The Fast Five macho quiz. |ScreenJunkies|
• The Greenest Video Games and Video Game Characters From Luigi To Green Day |G4|
• The Best Weird Al Yankovic Videos. |EgoTVOnline|

NOMINATE FOR COMMENTS OF THE WEEK. BUY FILMDRUNK SHIRTS. THE FROTCAST (OUR PODCAST) ON iTUNES. FILMDRUNK ON FACEBOOK. FILMDRUNK ON TWITTER.

Above all else, entertainment is an intuitive business.  You take one British comedian, famous for discussing his battles with drug and sex addiction, and do with him the most logical thing: hire him to voice the Easter Bunny in a children’s movie.  Of course, this Easter Bunny will have to be super cool and hip, to appeal to today’s youth with their iPads and Rockbands and sausage-sucking sexbots, so now the Easter Bunny plays drums and wears multiple layers of shirts and moves to Hollywood for some reason.  After that, it hooks up with David Hasselhoff, a guy famous for being on a bad show with a lady who made a sex tape with a rock star with a really big penis, and later for being a terrible drunk who eats floorburgers.  From there, the floorburger guy helps the cool bunny with the multiple shirts become famous for pooping jelly beans, which will be then branded and sold to children.  The end.  Cut and print.

Really, I can’t imagine this turning out any other way.

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You can tell he's cool because the chocolate bunnies let him hang out.

Here’s the first poster for Hop (formerly “I Hop“), from the director of Alvin and the Chipmunks, starring James Marsden and the voice of Russell Brand. Russell Brand voices the Easter Bunny, but definitely not your grandpa’s Easter Bunny, with his boring old eggs and fruity pastel sweaters.  The kids today, with their rock group videos and their hippity hop music, will really go nuts for this Easter Bunny, which you can tell by his headphones, drumsticks, and short-sleeve shirt over long-sleeve shirt, and the relaxed attitude he takes towards work, as if to say, “Who cares? It’s only fashion.”

From the creators of Despicable Me comes Hop, the comic tale of Fred (James Marsden), an out-of-work slacker who accidentally injures the Easter Bunny (voiced by Russell Brand) and must take him in as he recovers. In theaters April 1, 2011! [Official Synopsis via BleedingCool]

Ha, an out-of-work slacker, classic!  But where are his sunglasses?  NOW how am I supposed to know if he’s cool?

• This summer… Jason Statham… has diabetes.  Now, if Jason Statham has diabetes, shouldn’t he get his medication from a cat who looks like Wilford Brimley?  Makes perfect sense to me. [CollegeHumor]
• Jackie Earle Haley will play Freddy Krueger in the remake. Good for him.  Still don’t care about horror remakes. [ScreenJunkies]
• How to look amazing and attract girls. [HolyTaco]
• 5 more of the most disturbing animals on Earth. [Atom]
• Apparently ShoWest has awards. Zac Efron won one. So did Sienna Miller, Dennis Quaid, Tits Whatserface from The Hills, and Rumer Willis.  They should call these the People Who Showed Up Awards.  [DailyFill]
• That’s right, DUELING EASTER BUNNY movies.  If only it were just one movie in which bunnies dueled.  [THR]
• Interview with a professional food-eater guy. [BullzEye]
• “Like a Boss” is my favorite digital short in a while.  [WarmingGlow]

Thanks to RoboPanda for the picture

Big thanks to RoboPanda aka LudditeAndroid for finding this clip of Chris Klein singing a song about marmosets from Hank and Mike, a movie about Easter bunnies.  Did you read that last sentence?  How the hell have I not seen this yet?  I want this movie inside me.  I’m already calling it the The Wrestler of Easter Bunny movies.  Anyone else thinking what I’m thinking?  That’s right, Easter Bunny party later. Call me ladies.  At Easter Bunny parties, eggs aren’t the only ones getting laid, gnome sayin?
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