Nic Cage has a lot of

The owner of Old Bank DVD in Downtown L.A. tells TMZ Nic rented the flicks back in April — “A Star is Born” and “The King of Comedy.”
Problem is, four months later — they haven’t been returned.
Old Bank has resorted to Facebook to get Cage’s attention (they say they can’t get a hold of him) posting …”If anyone happens to run into Nicolas Cage wandering the neighborhood, please kindly remind him he’s had [our DVD's] for a few months.”
They hilariously add, “Old Bank DVD is not responsible if he gets mad, bursts into flames and beats you up though.”

Aw, I would’ve gone with a Wicker Man reference. NO, NOT THE DVDS! AUUUUGH IT’S IN MY EYES! Anyway, Old Bank had taken to mocking Cage on their Facebook page, posting pictures of Nic Cage photoshopped onto other peoples’ bodies, which seems like a weird “punishment.” If posting Nic Cage as everyone pictures is something you do when he owes you money, he needs to settle up with half my Facebook timeline. But according to Old Bank, the harassment worked:
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The Avengers hits DVD/Blu-Ray September 25th, and Marvel has released an alternate opening scene from the movie online.

This version opens 48 hours after the Avengers save New York City from an alien attack. In it, Agent Maria Hill is being interrogated regarding events that brought a city to its knees, with all-too-brief cameos from Captain America and the Hulk. It’s a pretty solemn opening, and we can see why it wasn’t used, though along with the short Item 47 it at least gives us a taste of how New York City carried on in the days following the attack. [Movies.com]

Yes, how did the city carry on after a giant robot space worm jizzed flying demon bikes all over it? That was my first thought when I was watching it – the flying battleships are great, but what of the human cost?! This opening scene is a fascinating look at how blah blah something something is the Hulk smashing stuff yet? No? Okay, bye.

They should’ve had some guys eating lunch in the wreckage to show that, like, life goes on and stuff.

"C'mon, Edward, just touch it. Seriously, quit messing around."

In a shock to no one, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 has been selling like hotcakes (also my nickname for RPattz) since being released on DVD this Saturday. To the tune of three million plus copies. That sound you heard is Stephanie Meyer’s yacht pulling up to the dock to pick up her second yacht, which she is going to tow around behind the first yacht in case it gets dirty. Then she’ll just sink that one and switch. She really hates dust.

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 DVD is, unsurprisingly, flying off the shelves. After the film was released to disc at midnight Saturday morning, it reportedly sold 3.2 million discs over the course of two days.

But, that’s not all: The flick also snagged 50,000 downloads and 80,000 video-on-demand transactions during the two-day period when the sales were tracked, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The numbers make “Breaking Dawn” the top-selling release so far this year. It bows at #1 on the Nielsen VideoScan First Alert overall disc sales chart, followed by “Lady and the Tramp” and “A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas.” [MTV]

Whoawhoawhoa. Hold on one minute. You’re telling me that the next two top-selling DVDs of 2012 are the Harold and Kumar Christmas movie and a re-release of an animated movie from 1955? Holy Lord. [Editor's Note: I saw Harold and Kumar. It wasn't that bad.] I take back everything I’ve ever said about the film industry’s sky-is-falling claims being full of crap*. The industry is in SHAMBLES. Someone go pull SOPA out of the shredder, paste it together like a piece of evidence, and put that sucker to a vote**. Just bring this blockquote with you to the hearing***. It’ll pass unanimously****.

*No I don’t.
**Don’t do this.
***This either.
****No it won’t.

Image via Summit Entertainment

"Cookies?"

When most people do DVD commentary, they generally try to give you some interesting background on whatever scene is playing — behind-the-scenes stories, the challenges of shooting something, continuity mistakes the viewer might have missed — sort of like pop-up video on VH-1. In this clip from the Total Recall commentary track, Arnold Schwarzenegger describes what’s happening on screen so literally that watching it feels like your brain is melting. Everyone commenting on it and the person who originally put it on YouTube all swear that this is the real DVD commentary and not an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator, and the only thing that keeps me from total disbelief of that is that it’s so completely absurd that it couldn’t have been imagined before it happened.

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That's not a green screen

You may not remember through the haze of booze, pills, and indiscriminate hobo sex, but back in 2008, I posted a clip of a zombie fighting a shark. This was not done through special effects, unless you consider sticking an actor inside a shark tank a special effect. The clip came from Lucio Fulci’s 1980 film Zombie — why wouldn’t you call it “Zombie Shark Fight?” Sell the sizzle, man! — and thanks to a recent re-release, you’ll be able to see it in theaters this weekend at special midnight showings in advance of its DVD and Blu-Ray release next week (October 25th, to be precise). I’ve got the list of theaters and more pictures and video after the jump.

“Fulci put a stuntman dressed as a zombie in a tank with a live shark and made them fight – it’s one of the craziest, most insane and irresponsible scenes ever put on film. This was 1980, years before CG. And the zombie wins! To this day, nobody knows how in the hell he did it, it’s simply jaw-dropping. There’s nothing you will see in any modern zombie movie that comes close to what Fulci did in 1980.” – Eli Roth. [from the press release]

Based on my extensive knowledge of racial stereotypes from the 30s, I think I can imagine it went down. (EXCLUSIVE!):

STUNTMAN: But-a mister-a Fulci, how-a Guiseppe guana fight-a di shark? My mama, she barely-a teach-a me to swim! Please, Guiseppe got-a keeds to-a feed!

LUCIO FULCI: Guiseppe! Testaduro! How many-a time Lucio guana tell-a you? You dona a-gotta FIGHT-a di shark, you-a just-a gotta SWEEM with-a di shark. The shark, she wont-a even-a be-a hungry. We fill-em uppa good, with-a my mama’s a-meataballs!

STUNTMAN: …With-a… you mama‘s a-meataballs? Mamma mia! Everyone-a know, Mama Fulci’s a-meatballs, they’re-a di best eena Italy!

LUCIO FULCI: Oh, so-a now a-you no-a scared-a no more, skifozo? You just-a make sure-a the shark-a belly, she no burst-a from a-too many meataball. Now go, get inna di tank. You film-em uppa good, I give-a you some-a di leftover a-shark a-ball.  ACCIONE!

STUNTMAN: Mama Fulci’s a-meataball, here I a-come! (*kisses fingers, jumps in tank*)

After the jump: the trailer, more stills, and a list of theaters where you can see Zombie this weekend.

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