Our friend Evan Husney from Severin films has an eye for obscure 80s trash and sleaze the likes of which has no equal (see also: the special-needs transvestite cocaine dance party, Nicole Kidman’s lost BMX film, the world’s most sensual pool hall), and his latest contribution is this clip from Sledgehammer, which Severin is releasing through their intervision sub-label on Tuesday (order here).  I’ve got three copies of the DVD to giveaway to anyone who can answer the question after the jump.  First, the rundown:

Severin Films today announced an agreement with the estate of Larry Gold, Sr. to handle all future production and marketing for Intervision Picture Corporation. The arrangement commences with the 5/10 release of 1983’s SLEDGEHAMMER, notorious as the first shot-on-tape ‘slasher’ thriller for the then-exploding home video market. Gold, a pioneer of ‘70s film distribution and ‘80s genre VHS, died in March following a massive coronary at his home in Thailand.

The 5/10 release of SLEDGEHAMMER marks the return of director David A. Prior’s bizarre video shocker, which was celebrated as part of Los Angeles’ Cinefamily ‘Homemade Horror’ series and will be screened on street-date at Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse. Future Intervision releases include the 1989 ‘Canuxploitaion’ oddity THINGS and 1993’s disturbing THE SECRET LIFE: JEFFREY DAHMER.

I’ve got a clip below, and like everything Evan sends me, including pictures of his peen, it will probably give me nightmares.

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If you like nunchuks, medieval speed metal, and dead burnt lesbians (and who doesn’t?), chances are you’re a fan of our friend Bobby Hacker‘s “Cars” videos.  I know I am.  They may have even subconsciously inspired my love of  “OOH WHA-AH AH-AH” in reference to anything xxxtreme. Bobby made a longer video, Cars 3, which was screened at an event hosted by Patton Oswalt a few years back (can you feel my palpable jealousy?), but outside of that, no one’s seen it.  Well it musht be our lucky day, because now Cars 3 is being released on DVD as part of a longer Troma compilation.  Hacker gave the scoop to Scott Wampler over at the Examiner, because apparently us going to strip clubs together means nothing to him.

I just sold a new cut of the film to TROMA along with a bunch of other shorts for a DVD to be released in AUG.

Pixar also optioned the franchise a few years back, but it seems they turned it into this weird thing with Larry the Cable Guy playing a dump truck, and I was all, “Hey, where’s all the swearing and stuffed clowns who want to touch my privates?”  It was confusing, to say the least.  Anyway, I’ll keep you posted as we learn more information, but I just wanted to give you the heads up so you can start saving.  Knowing DVDs, it’ll probably be at least ten bucks.

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Here I was, all set to do my normal Weekend Preview post while smoking a pipe in my dinner jacket, when I realized that this week’s offerings included a Justin Bieber biopic and that Adam Sandler movie. (But also Cedar Rapids, which is great, if you live in one of these cities).  If you’re not a true Belieber and/or Brooklyn Decker in a bikini isn’t enough to make you overlook Jennifer Aniston as a love interest, as an alternative, you can watch a documentary about badass street gangs from the 70s for free right here.

From Vice:

Gangs these days are f*cking boring. There’s no showmanship or flair involved any more. New York City gangs in the 70s and 80s had style by the assload. Each gang had their own theme, be it wearing SS helmets with ripped-up leather jackets or carrying a gigantic sword while sporting a beret, things were undoubtedly more badass back then.

80 Blocks From Tiffany’s was made in 1979 by Gary Weis, who used to make shorts for Saturday Night Live back in the good old days. If you’re at all interested in gang culture, you’ve probably already seen it, or at least heard of it. It was originally released in 1985 but was, for most of its existence, really, really hard to find.

WELL NOT ANYMORE!  NOW YOU CAN WATCH IT FOR FREE ON THIS VERY INTERNET WEBSITE!  It’s basically the real-life, less cute version of The Warriors.  But with similar, stylized, sleeveless denim vests.  So, still kind of cute.  Check it out below.

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Today someone sent me a link to BadgetotheBone, the official site of Scout’s Honor: Badge to the Bone, a direct-to-DVD movie starring Chris Kattan and Fred Willard that promises to be the dumbest comedy of all time — “seriously, we mean it. This is the dumbest comedy of all time.”

Guys, guys, the product speaks for itself.  Also included in this email was the loop clip you see above of Chris Kattan doing one of the strangest line readings I’ve ever seen or heard.  I can’t.  Stop watching this.  I’ve watched it about 10 times now, and it inexplicably gets funnier every time.  I think it’s because it raises so many questions: Did he practice that line flub?  Could that be possible?  Was it accidental?  They just left it in the movie like that?  Whose idea was this?  Why am I covered sow’s blood?  Who summoned this demon?

This is worse than when Danger made that Natalie Portman loop that had me grinding my teeth in time to her laugh for like three days.  I think I’ve lost my mind.  I’ve included the full trailer below, but trust me when I say that it will bring you no closer to understanding. THERE IS NO CONTEXT.

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The Dogfather is a new film that ponders that age-old question: what if your dog was secretly an ex-mafioso on the lam?  Because how well do you really know your best friend?  But even in a film that features a bulldog wearing suits and eating spaghetti (not to mention riding a skateboard, which, let’s face it, seemed a little out of character), the clear stand out is former SNL cast member Chris Parnell.

As much as I loved him as Dr. Leo Spaceman on 30 Rock, this could be his finest role.  No one pulls off that informercial style, Gee whiz! accomplishing-regular-tasks-is-hard!-style acting with as much humanity as he does. And at the 1:06 mark, he delivers the line that should take top billing in the next cut of his acting reel:

WIFE: (trying on new ring at the dinner table) “Where did you find it?”

CHRIS PARNELL: (matter-of-factly) “In Sonny’s poop.”

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