The City of Austin invited its residents to rename its solid waste department.  They apparently like to make up words much the same way as the FilmDrunkards. |via TheDailyWhat|

MORNING LINKS

Baby sloths vs. Classic Literature. SLOTHS! |Uproxx|

Charlie Sheen says rumors of his coke addiction have been greatly exaggerated. |WarmingGlow|

Kid attends school using his surrogate robot. |GammaSquad|

‘A Buttwork Fart,’ and other winners of the Paul Blart Presents sci-fi contest. |Frotcast|

Super Bowl commercials leak early. |WithLeather|

Latest teacher sex scandal is much less sexy. |BostonBarstoolSports|

Finnish terrorists kidnap a statue of Ronald McDonald. |TheDailyWhat|

The 9 Best Quarterback Matchups in Super Bowl History. |BroBible|

Kayden Kross wants to box. |GorillaMask|

5 secrets from the set of Arthur. |NextMovie|

Every Single Way Bill Murray Dies in Groundhog Day. |Clutch|

Kenneth Cole and Twitter, a history of insensitive tweets. |HolyTaco|

Steven King has some ideas for The Stand. |ScreenJunkies|

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I got tired of making stupid Photoshop pictures for every piece of Uwe Boll-related news, so I decided to go with this David Hasselhoff video instead.  Germans love David Hasselhoff.  

Anyway, the news is that Uwe Boll is making a movie version of Zombie Massacre, which is apparently some sort of "video" game.

"I want to make this movie more creepy than House of the Dead, which was intended to be funny and campy," he says. "I’d like ‘Zombie Massacre’ to be a harsh zombie movie like ’28 Days Later.’" 

Wanna make it creepy? Consider a starring role! Burn! Wanna make it funny? Get nude in it! DOUBLE BURN!    

Anyway, remember when we were wondering whether the zombie movie genre had durst?  Now it’s official. 

If Stuck on You and Fever Pitch didn’t convince you that the Farrelly Brothers have been taking unfunny pills since There’s Something About Mary came out, these two new clips (here and here) from Heartbreak Kid will. 

Jerry Stiller playing Ben Stiller’s dad, hey that’s cute, ’cause they’re like actually father and son, right?  Ha, that’s funny.  I like it because I get it, and I don’t usually, like, get stuff, you know?  Good thing I read People Magazine to stay up on the latest news, otherwise I’d be lost right now, haha, lol! I bet his wife has a part in this somewhere, that would be really funny too! Omg! Lol!

And seriously? Carlos Mencia?  In the words of Joe Rogan, "What he’s done is he’s figured out a way to tune into a special frequency that retards operate on. He does jokes that are only for dumb people."  Couldn’t have said it better myself.  For once. 

Look for the Farrelly’s to direct the next Dane Cook vehicle.