This will be the third version I’ve posted of the world’s drunkest guy, AKA a man in the depths of an ether binge, AKA the official FilmDrunkard video, and even though he’s not film related, I think these are considered follow ups at this point.  You know what?  I shouldn’t have to apologize for posting awesome videos like this one.  All I try to do is entertain you and this is the thanks I get?  I’m crying now, I hope you’re happy.  Anyway, this version reimagines our protagonist as a character in a video game.  Or should I say prostaggernist?  Get it?  Shut up, you guys are mean.

Your move, Hasselhoff.

[Thanks to Burnsy for the tip]

The video I posted the other day of the drunk guy comically stumbling around a convenient store (at 10 in the morning on a Tuesday no less) has been compared to many things: a man in the depths of an ether binge, a redneck version of a Jamiroquai video, Vincent D’Onofrio’s performance as a giant bug stuck inside the body of a man in Men in Black, the official FilmDrunkard; and today he gets the silent film treatment.  I was laughing by the first note of the jaunty piano music.  “Dear me, I’ve fallen over.”  Amazing.  Also, I bet this was an awesome story from the perspective of the guy’s son.  His dad took off to run a quick errand, was gone for almost two days, and just when the kid was starting to think Daddy abandoned him because he didn’t love him anymore, POW!  There’s Pop in the door with a couple of black eyes and pants full of poop.  “Did you miss me, son?  Daddy was in the drunk tank again.” (slow-motion while “Chariots of Fire” plays until fade out)

[via MustacheandMonocle]

(An artist’s conception of internet comments sections, via marriedtothesea)

Hello and welcome to another installment of Stuff I Thought Was Funny Last Week.  Each week I tell myself I’m going to edit this post down to only the funniest few comments to make it concise and newbie-friendly, but it never gets very short.  What can I say, y’alls is funny.  Anyway, let’s start with an auto-erotic asphyxiation joke, because that seems fitting.

(from Bret Easton Ellis and Gus Van Sant’s suicide movie) ChinoMoreno says: I once tried to commit suicide by hanging myself. It didn’t work. I didn’t die, I just came really hard.

Moving on…

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“There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge.
It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel.  Total loss of all basic motor skills, blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue — the mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column.  Which is interesting, because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can’t control it.”

This guy is officially the official mascot of FilmDrunk.  Note the time on the security cam tape: it’s ten in the morning.  Gotta love a guy who has to set an alarm clock to get hammered.

Hey!  What are you doing over there?
…Juss partyin, man. (*falls through table*)

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