This is the trailer for Charlie Bartlett, starring Anton Yelchin, Robert Downey Jr. and that goth chick with the big boobs.  It appears to be Ferris Bueller meets Rushmore meets Charlie Brown (You know, ‘cause Lucy had that booth that said “Psychiatric Help 5 cents”? Anyone? Screw you guys.).

Wealthy teenager Charlie Bartlett (Anton Yelchin) is failing miserably at fitting in at a new public high school run by the world-weary Principal Gardner (Robert Downey Jr.). As he begins to better understand the social hierarchy, Charlie’s honest charm and likability positions him as the resident "psychologist" dishing out advice, and the occasional prescription to other students in need. Along the way, he decides to take some of his own advice, find romance, and learn to accept who he is, thus yielding a witty dark comedy about the angst-filled years before college. [Wiki] (Opens 2-22) 

Reminds me of the time I won a who-can-fit-the-most-grapes-in-their-mouth contest in Health class. Man, I totally ruled that school.  If only some private school douche had been sentenced to public school back then.  I know he would’ve taught me a lot about life and a little about love.  Is there anything rich people can’t do?  

Related news: Tom Cruise produced a competing version of this film in which a public school kid enrolls at a private school, where he teaches impressionable rich kids that psychiatry is a pseudo science, throws away their medicine and charges them exorbitant fees for “personality tests.” 

Check out the trailer for Speed Racer, directed by Andy and Lana Wachowski; starring Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, John Goodman, and Susan Sarandon.  (Large, Larger, Largest)

You know, normally I wouldn’t recommend G-Rated, CGI-heavy car racing movies that look like one of those giant novelty lollypops come to life, but I’m all for anything that gives children seizures (whether it be a karate chop to the neck or otherwise).   

This is like Disneyland on a bad acid trip.  My eyes hurt.