It has only been three months, but the pain still feels fresh. Back in November, People magazine had the nerve – nay, THE BALLS! – to claim that Bradley Cooper was the Sexiest Man Alive. Normally, we wouldn’t care, but People chose the star of Limitless and The A*Team over our favorite chosen son, Ryan Gosling. And the world shared our outrage and acted accordingly.

As if the dagger wound wasn’t painful enough, along comes Heat magazine – whatever that is – to twist the blade and leave us in further agony. According to 1,000 or so of Heat’s readers, Gosling is indeed in the conversation of the Sexiest Man on the Planet, but once again he is left in the dust of a greater stag – David Beckham.

According to Digital Spy, heat’s Top 25 looks like this…

Read the rest of this entry »

Quentin Tarantino recently released his eleven favorite films of 2011, and thanks to cocaine, he was able to watch all eleven of them in just under 40 minutes. Probably the biggest surprise is that Paul WS Anderson’s Three Musketeers made his top eleven. I still haven’t seen it, but I know it involves pirate ships carried by zeppelins shooting cannons at each other, and I’m a big proponent of the idea that at a certain level, “stupid” becomes “brilliant.”

The other suprise is that he has Drive listed among the “nice try” movies, which… I guess… means… he thought it could’ve been better? I don’t know, but he mentions it alongside Drive Angry, Hanna, and Real Steel, which aren’t exactly flattering company.

Quentin Tarantino’s official Top 11 of 2011

1. Midnight in Paris
2. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
3. Moneyball
4. The Skin I Live In
5. X-Men: First Class
6. Young Adult
7. Attack the Block
8. Red State
9. Warrior
10. The Artist / Our Idiot Brother (tie)
11. The Three Musketeers

Read the rest of this entry »

Despite being the president of the FilmDrunk Chapter of the North American Ryan Gosling Fan Club, I have yet to see his latest smash hit, Drive, because I can’t quite handle the idea of seeing an angry Baby Goose hurting people, when he’s supposed to be the King of Cuddle. But Vinnie saw it and reviewed it, and you can take his word for it that it’s action-packed and huggerific, if by that you mean a guy getting his face stomped.

More than anything, though, Drive has been a surprising source of inspiration, what with the creation of an exciting game, a mash-up with Tom Cochrane’s classic 90s hit “Life is a Highway”, the release of a line of Gosling’s scorpion jackets, and even causing a guy to throw a hot dog at Tiger Woods. This film will probably completely be forgotten come Academy Awards time, but I believe that it has already won so much.

Now, thanks to animators Tom Haugomat and Bruno Mangyoku, Drive is available in short cartoon form.

Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, a man made headlines when he courageously threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods as Woods was leaving the seventh green at CordeValle Golf Club near San Jose during the Frys.com Open. The Santa Rosa Press Democrat recently tracked down that man, who turned out to be a 31-year-old Petaluma native named Brandon Kelly. This lead to one of my all-time favorite news quotes. Let’s enjoy it together:

“I threw the hot dog toward Tiger Woods because I was inspired by the movie ‘Drive,’” Kelly said. “As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, ‘I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger.’”

Somewhere, David Lynch just cried tears of joy.

Meanwhile, in a similar act of journalistic excellence, Moviefone has an interview with Kirk, a guy who looks like Ryan Gosling’s Drive mask.

It is a glorious time to be alive.

Read the rest of this entry »

A Michigan woman has reportedly filed a lawsuit against FilmDistrict, the distributor of Drive, claiming that the film’s trailer promised Fast and Furious-style thrills and failed to deliver.

Sarah Deming has filed a lawsuit against FilmDistrict claiming that the distributors, “promoted the film Drive as very similar to the Fast and Furious, or similar, series of movies.”

I don’t know what she’s suing for, but getting those two hours of her life back may require petitioning God to slow her type-2 diabetes and extra episode of American Idol.

“Drive bore very little similarity to a chase, or race action film… having very little driving in the motion picture,” the suit continues. “Drive was a motion picture that substantially contained extreme gratuitous defamatory dehumanizing racism directed against members of the Jewish faith, and thereby promoted criminal violence against members of the Jewish faith.

Deming is seeking a refund for her movie ticket, in addition to halting the production of “misleading movie trailers” in the future. The plaintiff intends to turn her individual case into a class action lawsuit, thereby allowing fellow movie-goers an opportunity to share in the settlement. [THR - and here's the local news story from Detroit, in case you wanted to see misspelled title cards and hear what some random people on the street think about this]

I saw Drive, and I actually had to do some Googling to understand what the hell she was even talking about with the Jewish racism thing. Apparently she means Ron Perlman’s character, who had violence done against him and also happened to be Jewish. Which is a real shame. It’s too bad Drive couldn’t be more of an empowering story of Hebrew identity, like, say The Fast and the Furious. Why, hardly a day goes by that I don’t see a gang of Jews driving by in their tricked-out Toyota Supras making a terrible racket. “Oy, Hoischel, get a load of this meshugganah Honda with his farkakte ground effects,” you’ll often hear them say. Typical Jews, always living their lives a quarter mile at a time.

Read the rest of this entry »