Well folks, hope you had a good Thanksgiving.  As for me, I’ve taken nearly five shits since dinner yesterday.  And speaking of massive turds, here’s the trailer for He’s Just Not That Into You.  Okay okay, maybe it won’t be that bad, I just have a hard time seeing past Drew Barrymore and her stupid speech impediment.  On a related note, I think “Drew Burymore” would be a good name for someone in a goth band.

After the jump you can watch the He’s Just Not That Into You trailer, starring Scarlett Johansson, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore and that one chick.  It was directed by Ken Kwapis, and judging by his past body of work, which includes License to Wed, The Beautician and the Beast, and Dunston Checks In, I’m guessing it’s going to be kwappy.  Weally weally kwappy.

He’s Just Not That Into You is an adaptation of the best-selling book of the same name by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo (both of whom once wrote for Sex and the City).  It’s based on the idea that if you invite the dude you like up to your apartment after the date and he turns you down, or if he’s not calling you back, or if you’re Drew Barrymore, he’s probably just not that into you.  Then again, maybe he’s a crime-fighting superhero.    

Drew Barrymore will join Robert DeNiro, Kate Beckinsale, and Sam Rockwell in Alpaca Lips Now, a screwball comedy set in ancient Peru.  Just kidding, the movie’s actually Everybody’s Fine, a Kirk Jones-directed remake of 1990 Italian roadtrip movie Stanno Tutti Bene.

But my idea was still more believable than Drew Barrymore’s acting.  ZING!  *shuffle shuffle, jazz hands!*

[Source] 

A JoBlo tipster has provided some pictures for the set of the X-Files movie – but I must warn you…

These pics contain the spoiler to pwn* all spoilers.

Earth-shattering, movie-ruining snapshots. They’re the Cloverfield monster, The Crying Game, and The Sixth Sense all rolled into one – like a giant pre-op transsexual who says ROWR but was dead all along! 

Are you sure you want to see them?  Well okay, pilgrim, but don’t say you weren’t… warned:

(see the pics here) 

That’s right, it’s Drew Barrymore!  Who would’ve thought? 

*Oh just look it up, Dad. 

Ellen Page, star of Juno (which recently passed Sideways as Fox Searchlight’s highest grossing movie ever, and has also already outearned Little Miss Sunshine) may star in Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut.

Whip It is Drew Barrymore’s forthcoming directorial debut, due to start production in March. It’s a coming-of-age tale about a girl who finds her identity through the power of roller derby, based on Shauna Cross’ novel, Derby Girl. 

Cross tells FilmSchoolRejects “rumor is the lead could be played by an actress whose name rhymes with Shmellen shmage”, though personally I hope she’s not that schmucking schmumb. She’d have to be a shmodshmamned shmetard to be in this shmiece of shmit.

Jesus, Drew Barrymore has to be near the top of my “How is s/he still working list?”  Aside from being a horrible actress who rotted one of Tom Green’s nuts off with her succubus venom, she has an annoying speech impediment that makes it sound like she’s constantly leaking air.  You’re rich as hell – hire a goddamned speech coach.  Don’t they have rehab for former child actors who can’t talk?  I know some asshole casting director thought your inability to communicate was cute once upon a time, but you’re an adult now, and much like skinny dipping in the city pool, some stuff doesn’t fly anymore. 

Guh, speech impediments creep me out more than midgets and harelips combined. Honestly, people who are less than perfect should just be rounded up and sent to camps.  I wonder why no one’s thought of it before.