Strap in, kids, we’ve got an abundance of posters to savor this week. First up, Iron Man 3. I’ll be honest, it sort of bums me out how excited grown adults get every time a comic book character so much as farts on celluloid. I mean, I like plenty of comic book movies (possibly more than half, even) it’s just the automatic excitement of it. It seems like a weird form of brand loyalty. Anyway, I like this poster fine, I’m just not that into the idea of a third Iron Man after the last one. Is this one just going to be Robert Downey flexing at the camera shouting “I’m Robert Downey, bitch!” while he bangs supermodels? The first one was fun, but let’s face it, Iron Man is kind of like the Entourage of superhero movies.

I call this pose the Angry Upside-Down Jesus. My girlfriend and I tried the Angry Upside-Down Jesus once, but we didn’t have the right sized railroad spikes.

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J. Edgar Hoover gets out of his chair and straightens his tie, approaching the podium. He smooths his heavily pomaded hair. His hands hit the podium as he leans slowly towards the microphone, preparing to speak. The room is silent. Somewhere in the background, someone coughs.

HOOVER: “….Caaaaake.”

SENATOR MOYNIHAN: “…Director Hoover?”

HOOVER:”Caaaaake.”

The crowd murmurs, the Vice President bangs his gavel, demanding order.

SENATOR MOYNIHAN: “Director Hoover, do you mean to say that–”

HOOVER: “CAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.” (*he pounds his hand on the podium*) “CAKE!”

The crowd applauds. Credits roll. Fin.

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Transformers: Dark of the Moon (bigger version here).  Man, remember when the coolest thing about Transformers was the way that they could conceivably transform from trucks to robots?  Yeah, that sucked. Even as a child I longed for a random assortment of shiny metal and flames.

I like to think this one went down something like this:

MICHAEL BAY: Wait, is there a building there behind Optimus’ shoulder that isn’t on fire?

POSTER DESIGNER: …I’m fired, aren’t I.

[via ComingSoon]

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The top half of the banner picture comes from Cracked, who the other day had a great list about actors who make the same face in every movie, one of them being Eddie Murphy.  This led us to wonder: Was Eddie Murphy the original model for Dreamworks Face™?  I say no.  Not toothy enough.  But it’s definitely his “I wonder if that’s a tranny” face.

-thanks to AJ for the eyebrows heads up.

Mornings that include a new Parry Gripp song are better than Christmas, Halloween, and Fajita night rolled into one.  This one’s called “Paul The Octopus”.  He picks the winner when he eats his dinner.  (*sniff*) It’s just so godd*mned beautiful.

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• A Guide to Disney’s horrible female role models, with photo evidence.  I like this, because, as I’ve said, the Disney Channel is creating a generation of booger-faced Mervin’s mannequins. |Uproxx|
• A Comic-Con Cosplay how to. |UGO|
• Canned sandwiches may not taste great, but boy are they stackable. |GammaSquad|
• Steve Urkel arrested for punching the sh*t out of his wife’s implant.  Said Mel Gibson upon hearing the news, “I always knew he was one of the good ones.” |WarmingGlow|
• Punté’s award-winning coverage of the World Series of Poker continues. |WithLeather|
• Miller High Life has a fancy new look.  Miller High Life > Coors Lite.  There, I said it. |SmokingSection|
• Peter King talks soccer, gets dissected. |KissingSuzyKolber|
• An open letter to that guy who honks as soon as the light turns green. |HolyTaco|
• Kathy Sanders hotness. |GorillaMask|
• Alessandra Ambrosia in lingerie. |Guyism|
• G4 talks to my be-Jew-fro’d mentor, Adam Carolla. |G4|
• “Armor made from ‘bullet-proof custard’. Finally a use for British food”. |Fark|
• The Expendables as an 8-bit videogame. |ScreenJunkies|
• 6 Iconic Sports Videogame Characters: Where Are They Now? |CollegeHumor|

And finally, FilmDrunkard Glenn discovered that Dreamworks Face may have infiltrated Pixar toys: