Dragonball has been the victim of a ton of rumors and negative press, which was still nothing compared to the film’s actual trailer, or the idea of making this turd in the first place.  The latest news is that Fox is filming reshoots.  Reshoots in and of themselves don’t mean a project is doomed like everyone says, but in this case it’s more that they spend $100 million on a movie with an unknown lead who seems to have been cast solely on the basis of having really stupid hair.

According to Actors Status, Dragonball will begin filming again (for additional scenes and/or retakes) on October 30th. If you’re between the ages of 20-70 and are fluent in Nepalese or Tibetan, this information may be for you.

Let me get this straight: a movie that cast a white dude in the role of “Goku” is now looking for authentic Nepalese or Tibetans?  How the hell does Fox still have money?  A blind gold miner with dicks for arms gets better investment returns than they do.  Just tape a Puerto Rican’s eyes sideways, guys, it’s not gonna matter much at this point.

^{Another high-quality Fox production}

Chow Yun-Fat is really mailing it in in the new Dragonball teaser.  “Seven Dwagonballs must be found, for all man’s fate will be bound,” he starts, and then later mumbles something about a “Fwophecy.” Can you really blame him though?  He’s starring opposite a white kid with a pikachu haircut and some chick who used to be on The Real World San Diego.  They probably aren’t paying him enough to remember he can speak English. Read the rest of this entry »

The first trailer for Dragonball premiered at the Brand Licensing Expo in Europe, and the footage has hit the web.  Even for buttcammed video, the quality is really bad.  I’m not sure whether the Brand Licensing Expo was held outdoors, but any audio from the trailer is drowned out by an apparent windstorm.  If you can’t watch it on your computer you can roughly approximate the experience by staring at the picture above and doing some cartwheels while a friend blows a hairdryer in your ear.  In fact, you might as well do that instead of paying to see the movie, just in case anyone’s ever tempted to make one of these ever again.  And anyway, you could probably use the exercise.  No one likes a fatty. Read the rest of this entry »

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, publicity stills from the Dragonball Z movie.  One of them features a former Real World castmember (Jamie Chung, San Diego).  Another looks like a picture from the calendar at the Chinese restaurant where I used to work.  And of course, the star is a white guy.  It’s a good thing they gave him an angular haircut and a shirt with Asian characters on it, otherwise we might never know he’s supposed to be Asian.  Just to be on the safe side, they should make him squint a lot and promise to love me a long time.

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