(”I WOULDN’T LET THIS GUY NEAR MY KIDS.”)
What would you consider super nerdy? Slavish devotion to a movie that came out 25 years ago? Singing the theme of said movie a capella? How about singing all the musical parts to that movie theme a capella, then filming yourself while you do it and making a multi-track video of the whole event? Yep, pretty nerdy, Matt Mulholland, pretty nerdy. Mouth instruments are only cool if you’re Bobby McFerrin, or me playing 70s-porn-themed mouth bass to get the ladies in the mood. Combine that with a lip bite and some slow hip thrusts and the panties just disintegrate, trust me.
The sequel to Tron (now called Tron Legacy) has been doing a big push at Comic Con this week, including screening 15 minutes of footage (which you can read all about here. I only got to the part that said “And it was totally worth waiting a year for: Kinetic, delirious and full of light-cycle brilliance.” Then I had to close my computer and rub my temples for an hour).
Anyway, in the video above, you can see the unveiling of the light cycle. I dunno. I mean, I guess it’s pretty cool. It’s a little hard to judge when you can hear the guys filming say it’s “f*cking awesome!” 17 times in a row. Oh man, the Tron light cycle! I better take a picture of this to show my girlfriend when I get home!
ALT HEADLINE: FORKS, WASHINGTON? MORE LIKE DORKS, WASHINGTON.
No matter how you feel about Twilight - hell, pretend it’s the best book ever written - this is still one of dorkiest stories ever. I’ve told you about Forks, Washington’s Twilight-based economy before, but I had to cover MTV’s recent trip to Summer School in Forks, “a fan event that allowed Twilighters to attend classes, go to a prom and enjoy field trips around the real-life town.” Some guy from MTV (a grown adult, even) even delivered the keynote address. I know that’s his job, but if it were me I’d have to kick my own ass afterward.
When you pull into town, you see a quaint Disneyland for Twilighters: A motel sign screams “Edward Cullen Slept Here,” a local Chinese restaurant features a “Twilight Dinner” [with Berra egg ro, and Edwah foo yong] and every third storefront sells Robert Pattinson cardboard cutouts, custom-made T-shirts and other “Twilight” trappings (lollipops that read “Bite Me”, bumper stickers that say “Warning: I Drive Like a Cullen”).
“None of our students are vampires — at least, not that we’re aware of,” grinned Kevin Rupprecht, the real-life [dork] principal of Forks High School, who promised me that he resists the daily temptation to call Edward Cullen to his office over the loudspeaker. “We do have a couple of lockers, for the fans, that are designated for Edward and Bella. People like that. And we do know which parking spot the almost-accident occurred in. So we direct fans to that; they eat it up [like bon-bons, or loneliness].”
Another interesting part of the weekend was Saturday night’s “prom” in the Forks High gymnasium. With attendees of all ages dressed in their best evening gowns and suits, popular “Twilight” acts the Bella Cullen Project, Bella Rocks and the Mitch Hansen Band sang odes to the Cullen clan. The YouTube sensation [...] Hillywood Players walked amongst them dressed as Bella, Jasper, Alice and Edward — the latter had his shirt open to reveal his chest, naturally. After sniffing a few potential mates, “Edward” chose his dancing partner from among the blushing fans [though they may just have been red from physical exertion].
As we stood in the real-deal Forks cafeteria, it was hard to deny the feeling that Edward could come strolling in at any moment, grab a tray of food that he would only poke at and stare longingly at Bella from across the room [gayest. daydream. ever.]. As the line between fiction and fact continued to blur, the Twilighters exchanged hugs and phone numbers, taking home the memories of a lifetime along with their diplomas.
“We ate at Bella Italia, which is where Edward and Bella had their first date. It was pouring — just like it should be — when we got here,” [a Twihard] continued. “Everywhere you go, you can just imagine Bella and Edward walking down the street in this cozy little town. It really is like being in the home of ‘Twilight.’ “
Man, if L.A. needs an enema, Forks, Washington could use a wedgie. Maybe Lincoln, Nebraska could stuff it in a locker and give it time to ponder ways of being less lame.
So JJ Abrams’ Star Trek opens today. That much we’ve established. Then Current TV hosted the above video, in which a group of Storm Troopers call in an air strike from the Death Star on what looks like the Enterprise, hovering over the Golden Gate bridge. Here’s their description:
Military force was authorized yesterday minutes after the E.T.’s 48 hour deadline had passed. The E.T’s were given an ultimatum to stop their whale poaching and leave Earth or face military action.
…Yeah. So is this some elaborate burn by Star Wars fans on Star Trek fans? Come on, fellas, don’t fight. There’s no reason we should have to choose between you. That’d be like trying to choose a favorite autistic child. Hmm, now that I put it that way, maybe they should fight…
A group of incredibly proactive dork- er, Lord of the Rings enthusiasts, recently shot a 40-minute, high-definition film in North Wales with an all-volunteer crew of 150.
Called The Hunt for Gollum, the film is the work of 150 volunteers, says director Chris Bouchard. “We’re essentially a bunch of fans and enthusiast filmmakers,” says Bouchard, who has put two years into the project. He made up the plot, which focuses on a search to find the deranged Gollum. The fear is that the wizened creature might reveal the whereabouts of the magic ring to the powers of darkness.
Fred Von Lohman, an attorney with the Electronic Frontier Foundation, says it’s not really clear whether Bouchard and his crew of volunteers are in violation of the copyright for Tolkien’s work. Von Lohman says fans have always written their own stories based on TV shows and movies. That’s legal. But a high-quality movie available over the Internet ['The Hunt for Gollum' is set to premiere on DailyMotion this Sunday] could change the game. [via NPR]
I know how these people feel. I’m always trying to get my not-for-profit tribute movies made. I invite girls over to watch porno and then beg them to help me make a prequel. But usually they say no and I end up wrestling an orc.
