“Quick, everyone to the Apple store!”

There’s really not much to say about the disaster in a disaster that is World War Z, the film adaptation of Max Brooks’ outstanding zombie novel that isn’t actually based on the book, that we haven’t already said before. The basic recap is that the film rights caused a bidding war between production companies owned by Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt, with the latter eventually securing the rights, and that was probably the only positive highlight of an otherwise doomed film production.

With World War Z reportedly way over budget and experiencing a litany of production problems, fans of the literary version have grown incredibly skeptical of the film’s prospects, and we’re all basically endlessly crying over this movie, despite the fact that we haven’t seen it. Thankfully, someone finally got his eyes on a clip of WWZ, specifically the first eight minutes, and it sounds like we basically have more to complain about now.

That someone is Badass Digest’s Devin Faraci, who was able to peep the exclusive footage at Harry Knowles’ birthday movie marathon. I’m just going to assume that my invitation was lost in the mail.

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"Quick, over here. Stay away that d*ckhead director."

Not since Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston signed on have we had good news about World War Z. It seems like any time the film is mentioned, what follows is a tale of demise so bleak that it should be the actual screenplay. For every negative story that surfaced – like the script being so terrible that Damon Lindelof said it would take months to fix – it seems like someone conveniently leaks something that says, “Hey, look how realistic our zombies are!” or “Don’t believe us? Come watch the set footage yourself.”

But it’s all meaningless, because as Robopanda pointed out, even though the film’s star and producer, Brad Pitt, selected Marc Forster to direct, their relationship has gone way south. And everyone knows that in a zombie apocalypse, the only direction is north.

… Brad Pitt, who Vulture hears exclusively from multiple production sources has become so frustrated with the film’s director, Marc Forster, that he stopped speaking to him altogether as the production heads into at least three weeks of reshoots.

Things got so bad that when Forster had notes on a scene for Pitt, they had to be relayed through an intermediary — and vice versa. We’re told that this awkward function was and is being largely fulfilled by a rotating trio of studio production president Marc Evans, Paramount film group head Adam Goodman, and Dede Gardner, a former executive at the studio who now runs Pitt’s company. And all this as the production crests $170 million as it heads into its costly reshoots, with an ending that is still in flux. (Via Vulture)

I’ve already aired my grievances with this colossal failure of a film production. I don’t have much else to say other than I pray someone is filming the entire production process. That way, Pitt’s Plan B company could at least release a Tropic Thunder-like documentary that explains how one of the world’s most beloved actors could have control of a hugely popular, much sought-after property and just completely screw it all to hell.

I’d say the chances of this film even being decent-at-best would be as good as T. Sean Collins risking his life to save Paris Hilton once the Long Island fortress is overrun. *frowns, self low five*

"Two new parents, please."

It’s been said that when God closes a door, He opens a window. Except in this case, the “door” is an acting career, the “window” is the promise of marital bliss, and “God” once blew $40 million on snake venom and T-Rex femurs. I guess what I’m trying to say is, Nic Cage is your God now. And his son Weston got engaged.

“Finally, some good news for Nic Cage — the actor’s son Weston popped the question to his ridiculously hot girlfriend Nikki Williams two weeks ago … and they’re set to get MARRIED on Sunday.”

A sudden engagement immediately followed by a hasty marriage ceremony, eh? Sounds like somebody’s been accidentally impregnated with a demon!

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