FilmDrunk’s 2010 Lifetime Achievement Award winner Christopher Mintz-Plasse and some guy named Scott Porter are the latest actors to hop on board the upcoming indie comedy The Hand Job, which is starting to look like a “Who’s Who” of people you would expect to see attached to an indie comedy. Variety reports that in addition to Vince’s best friend Chris and that Scott dude who probably doesn’t even read FilmDrunk, the Maggie Carey-directed film also stars:

Aubrey Plaza
Alia Shawkat
Mae Whitman
Connie Britton
Dominic Dierkes
D.C. Pierson
Donald Glover
Andy Samberg
Bill Hader

Plaza stars as a nerdy (read: hipster; see also: Juno) high school student who vows to lose her virginity before she heads off to college. And as I wrote that sentence, a million pairs of skinny jeans just got a little bit tighter. Glover will play a lifeguard, which is ironic and therefore a part of the standard indie formula, and Hader will play a stoner. I wish he would play Stefon. Sad Burnsy in a skinny tie.

Variety also reports that the roles of a “gorgeous older sister” and Plaza’s “intimidating father, a conservative judge” have yet to be filled. And I will save them some time and go ahead and scribble Zooey Deschanel’s name in the sister role, and for the dad… Alec Baldwin. Maybe Tim Robbins. Either way, it will be someone who is a famous liberal mocking the conservative role. That will totally show the system. Or not. Whatever.

"Mira, guey: Ju tell me donde esta la coca, or I put thees cigar out on el perro. Entiendes?"

Casting stories are usually boring as hell, but then, they usually don’t involve Danny Trejo and the Muppet Movie.  That’s right, Danny Trejo is joining the cast of the Muppet Movie.  Said Trejo, when reached for comment, “Why ju laugheen, puto?”

Jane Lynch has joined the impressive ensemble cast, while “Community’s” Donald Glover has also landed a small role, an individual familiar with the project has told TheWrap. “Machete” star Danny Trejo has also been cast, his representation has confirmed.

James Bobin (“Flight of the Conchords”) is directing from a script co-written by Nicolas Stoller (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) and “Muppets” star Jason Segel. While Glover’s role remains unspecified, Lynch will play a prison guard and Trejo will play her prisoner, according to Production Weekly. [TheWrap]

Still no word on whether Trejo will be alone with Lynch in his scenes, or whether he’ll actually interact with any of the puppets.  For his part, Trejo says, “Mira, guey, seence preeson, I don’t put my hands up nobody’s culo.”

I hear every time Danny Trejo gets cast in a Muppet movie, an angel helps a corgi puppy fold a burrito.
CORGI: Arf! Arf!
DANNY TREJO: Si, si, vato, muy bueno.

I’m not sure if these panel notes are necessarily fascinating for you the reader, but since I sat through them and took notes, I figure I might as well share.  I’ll try to keep it interesting and skip to the good stuff whenever possible.  Deal? (*spits on hand, extends for handshake*)

Notes from the Community Panel

- With the whole cast joining him onstage (minus Ken Jeong, who must be off filming another Seltzer-Friedberg movie or something), creator Dan Harmon comes on to talk about how he’s always getting grief from the network and the censors, and he wants to show us the real Community, the way he originally intended it.  Then he shows some clips from the show with fart sound effects edited in to make it look like Britta has a gas problem.  They aren’t just the original clips with fart sounds slapped in there willy-nilly, they’ve actually been included in such a way that it makes them seem like farts are a plot point.  It’s nice.  You can always tell when someone’s truly putting their whole heart and soul and inspiration into a fart joke and not just farting through the motions.

- The moderator, whose name I didn’t catch and who looks like a less beardy version of Kevin Smith in his Superman t-shirt and trench coat (note from the future: this guy), asks some blah blah blah questions of the cast.  All the actors are pretty witty and good with the crowd (especially Chevy Chase, who picks his moments to speak but clearly knows how to generate a laugh {even though he seems like an asshole based on what I’ve read about him, but that’s another story…}).  But there’s still a lot of that old standby, actors-being-asked-to-pop-psychologize-the-character-they-play.  WOOF.  First of all, if it doesn’t come up directly in the story, no one gives a sh*t about your character’s inner life and motivations.  Secondly, you’re an actor.  Nothing against actors, but if you didn’t write the character, everything you say about his or her motivations, backstory, aspirations, stifled desires, etc. is just a bunch of made-up, improvised bullsh*t.  It takes talent to do well, but really, don’t bother. No one gives a sh*t.

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Though I love Community (especially Abed, probably the most interesting TV comedy character in 10 years), Donald Glover as Troy is severely underutilized.  Hopefully you’ll be able to see a little more of what he can do in Mystery Team, which comes out on DVD next week.  To promote that, Derrick Comedy, the troupe behind Mystery Team, has released this new video, which introduces us to their brand-new, groundbreaking social network site, “Gink.”

Never before have users had so much control over the Blorkiffability of their Quimbles.

And that’s to say nothing of getting your gorks-to-schmorkle rating into the dunklesphere.

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Meet the fake Tiger Woods, aka Donald Glover from Community/Mystery Team.  He has a secret to tell you: he can’t get off unless you call his dog the n-word and put horns on and ram him like a bull.  Guess he’s old fashioned like that. [via WithLeather]

DAILY CIRCLE J LINKS

• Snookie from Jersey Shore writes a letter to Santa.  I love how they spell vodka “vokka”. |HolyTaco|
• Now you can buy Marvel’s best comics for a dollar a piece and relive the good times when you weren’t getting laid. |GammaSquad|
• Now your gay frat boy polo shirt can have boobs embroidered on it instead of an alligator or a cock or whatever you had on there before.  |FListed|
• Lessons learned from movies: 10 reasons to stay out of Vegas. |Insidemovies|
• Olivia Munn and who’s he McWhatshisface roller box. |G4|
• Facebook poking: What’s the next move? |CollegeHumor|
• Six terrible names people are trying to give this decade.  Hey, anything’s better than “Taylor.” |Cracked|
• The 27 craziest Menorah photos. No labia Menorah?  Weak. |Urlesque|
• Gotta love the Snookie Snuggie, the blanket that skeeves. |BestWeekEver|

Meet Harvey Dent, the puppy.  Holy crap, he’s cuter than Aaron Eckhart’s chin dimple. [via some guy's Twitter]