FilmDrunk’s official movie society reviewer Sexman is back with an important message for Rihanna, who he says is stupid for taking Chris Brown back.  Moreover, he has some general thoughts on domestic violence:

“It’s just an endless cycle.  It’s a horrible circle that just keeps going round and round, until someone decides to just make a hole between the circle so it can’t go around anymore.  …Not between the circle, but… cut one side or something.  You know, it’s a hard analogy to talk about.  Whatever.”

Girls are crazy, domestic violence is a cycle, analogies are hard – slow down, Sexman!  So young, and already, so few of life’s great truths left to discover.
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I’m re-posting this clip in honor of Sean Connery’s birthday. As Sir Connery says of women, “Shometimesh they just like to have the lahsht waird.” And so often that word is “Ouchmyface.”

About the site, as you may have noticed, things are looking different now that we’ve switched to WordPress. That should mean we’ll be able to do, like, new, cool stuff, that we haven’t even, like, thought of yet and stuff. In the meantime, expect some hiccups as I get used to the new software. It’s like having sex with a new girl. You have to rub her different ways to get a feel for what she likes, and hope she’ll be okay with your whole “crying afterwards” thing.

One major difference you’ll notice is that the old “read the rest of this entry” part is a little different. That link will send you to a page with just the bottom half of a post, rather than just expanding the post so you see top and bottom like before. However, if you click the “comments” link, you’ll get the old top-and-bottom. Coincidentally, “Old Top and Bottom” was your mother’s nickname in the Navy.  …Oh, and the old system we had for Comments of the Week doesn’t really apply here.  We’re going to have to figure out a new way to do it.  I’ll keep you posted.

According to the Sun, Reservoir Dogs actor and star of FilmDrunk Poetry Slam Michael Madsen was taken to a hospital after "going berserk" at a London Hotel.

It is understood he checked in to the hotel on Saturday with a woman he described as his wife and five-year-old daughter.

Holy shit, he married his daughter?  No wonder he’s having a breakdown.

A source told The Sun: “He was apparently totally out of it when he turned up. Then on Sunday afternoon there was a massive disturbance in his room.
“A guest complained that all hell was breaking lose [Sic]. There was a lot of screaming and shouting and staff called the police. He had a furious row with his woman companion and it was feared they might hurt each other. An ambulance was called because of concerns for his mental health.
“Madsen looked wild-eyed and had lost the plot. He was not violent, but there were serious concerns about his behaviour.” [Source]

Hypothetically speaking, if he had hit his wife, it probably would’ve been because he loved her so much, right?  I mean, why couldn’t she understand that?  GRR, TELLYOURFRIENDSYOUFELL!   -Thanks to Robo for the tip

In yet another bizarre incident on the set of Quantum of Solace, a technician was stabbed with a steak knife in a domestic dispute.

The 58-year-old man, who was working on Daniel Craig’s second Bond film, Quantum Of Solace, was found lying unconscious in a pool of blood yesterday morning after a night out.
 - Police said he had been attacked by a woman in the bedroom of her house in Dornbirn, Austria.
 - He is believed to have wrestled the knife from her and staggered into the street.
 - He is now said to be recovering in hospital, according to Bond sources.
 - Austrian police said the unnamed British technician had met a 47-year-old Austrian woman in a bar in the town of Dornbirn, near where filming is taking place. He was invited back to her home when she attacked him. [Source]

The Bond set has already been disrupted by an angry mayor, crashed a $250,000 car (the only one available), and badly injured a stunt driver.  This movie is becoming a real bummer.  I’m starting to think the entire production is like a cat who can’t seem to get the cake. 

IESB has a new batch of pictures from Indiana Jones and That Time I Bought a Pair a Trousers off an Oriental, I Can’t Believe I’ve Never Told You That Story. 

The pics aren’t particularly noteworthy except for this one, in which Shia puts on his big-boy pants and wops Cate Blanchett right in the talk hole.  Somewhere, Sean Connery is smiling.  Nice one, bro, but where the hell were you during Elizabeth: Golden Age? 

Anyway, I’m including the Nic Cage-in-a-bear-suit clip after the jump so you can compare whose pimp hand is stronger.  However, I wouldn’t want people to think I’m condoning this kind of thing.  I might need to introduce a new character, like Phil the Domestic Violence Penguin, or Take Back the Night Mongoose.  Did you know that last year, 20 million men physically assaulted their significant other, and less than half only did so because they fucking love you so much?  

For your consideration:

Nic Cage in a bear suit 

Trailer for Elizabeth: The Golden Age – it’s the non-porn prequel to Elixxxabeth: The Golden Shower