Proving once again that he needs Matthew Vaughn or Werner Herzog around to tell him when to release the pigs, famous crazy person Nic Cage was arrested for domestic violence over the weekend after an argument with his wife at a New Orleans tattoo parlor.  You can see video of them arguing after the jump, but I have to warn you, it’s pretty boring for a guy we’re accustomed to seeing punch women out whilst dressed as a bear.  Understated too, as far as Cage performances go.  Cage was reportedly in town to shoot Medallion, which is the Nic Cagiest movie title of all time.  His mugshot is above.  What I wish was his mugshot is below.

Cage, according to witnesses, told shop employees he didn’t know where he lived. According to police, that was the topic he and his wife were arguing over when he allegedly grabbed her.
In the surveillance video, Cage can be seen with arms around two friends — and holding a clear plastic cup — as he enters the shop. Cage would walk out and back in and again … and that’s when he can be seen arguing with his wife and friends. His wife can be seen motioning to herself throughout the video — as if to say, “Listen to me” or “Come with me.”
Eventually Nic acquiesced and left the shop … only to later be arrested on charges of domestic violence and disturbing the peace. [TMZ]
[according to another report] The couple was in front of a home that Cage insisted they were renting, police said. When she said it wasn’t theirs, Cage grabbed her arm, according to a police news release.
Cage started hitting vehicles and tried to get into a taxi, police said. An officer saw that Cage was drunk and told him to get out of the cab. Cage then started yelling at the officer.
The actor was booked on charges of domestic abuse battery, disturbing the peace and public drunkenness. [AP]

So the guy was drunk in New Orleans, big deal.  I would hope cops would consider Nic Cage’s baseline level of energy and confusion when determining what exactly constitutes a “domestic disturbance.”  Maybe she was in grave danger and Nic Cage had the secret that could save her, but no one would believe him. Did you ever think about that?

Meanwhile,  and this is not a joke, Cage was released on $11,000 bail, which was allegedly posted by Dog the Bounty Hunter. It’s hard to know what to take away from a story as surreal as that, but I’d say that it means Nic Cage must really be broke. Because if I had any money at all, the very first thing I’d do with it is buy my way out of a sermon on the dangers of alcoholism from a tiny born-again Christian with feathered hair who dresses like the Ultimate Warrior.

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This is both the best and worst KFC commercial ever made. Boy, their marketing department has been doing some pretty edgy stuff lately. Oh yeah, and enjoy these links:

• How to Survive The Hangover.  An apt link for you all this morning, I’m sure.  Next up, what to do with the dead hookers. |ScreenJunkies|
• Dogs re-enact World War I.  That is all. |HolyTaco|
• Interview with designer of ‘Dead Space: Extraction’. Never played it.  Is it related to the first link? |G4tv|
• The Polish version of Denise Milani is Rosalia Verne. You should see her Polish box. |Uncoached|
• The scene Scarlett Johansson produced was deleted from New York, I Love You.  It’s okay, Scarlett, at least your boobs are still huge.  |DailyFill|
• The all-too-rare standing inverted triangle choke submission.  I think he learned that from yer mom. |Buzzcuts|
• NASCAR fans arrested for horse DUI. See, this is why I never let my horse drive. |AllLeftTurns|
• President Obama bombs at stand up. He doesn’t seem to be letting it get to him. |CollegeHumor|
• Matthew Modine meets a lesbian. |Atom|

This anti-domestic violence ad starring Keira Knightley and directed by Atonement’s Joe Wright has been banned in the U.K., for fairly obvious reasons.

Advertising censors are refusing to allow it to be broadcast unless key scenes are cut.
“The Cut” was made for the charity Women’s Aid, and launched in cinemas at the beginning of this month.
Charities working to combat domestic violence branded the decision by Clearcast, the ad approval body, “pathetic”, arguing that, in banning the advert, it is shielding the public from the reality of domestic violence.
“It seems pathetic. It is really important to raise awareness about domestic violence, and TV gets into people’s homes” said Sandra Horely, chief executive of Refuge, a charity that provides accommodation for women and children escaping from domestic violence.
“The reason we are still in conversation with Clearcast about it is because they believe it is too violent,” said Chris Hirst, managing director of Grey London Advertising Agency, which created The Cut. “Part of the point of the campaign is to raise awareness about domestic violence, and spark debate, which the advert has done, even if it doesn’t make it on to TV.”  [Independent]

Whatever, you can spout your “just raisin’ awareness” cliché if you want, but all ads like this do is convince me that the the people who make them are creepy and weird.  It’s like filming a guy who rapes a baby and poops on his dog, and then at the end an announcer comes on and says “don’t rape a baby and poop on your dog.”  Really? That was your solution?  Look, if you want money for your charity, just film Sarah McLachlan singing to a sad puppy, you can have everything in my wallet.

Marty York, best known for his role as Yeah Yeah in The Sandlot in ’93 and who last acted in ’97, was recently arrested for beating up his girlfriend.  Which would never have happened if we sent all former child actors to internment camps like I keep saying.

Sources tell TMZ York was driving with his girlfriend in Los Angeles when they got in a heated argument. York says his GF struck him with her high heel shoe and he retaliated by punching her in the eye, causing a cut. York says they drove home, where the argument continued. A neighbor saw the cut on the woman’s eye and called the cops.  York says, “She got violent and started attacking me in the car… it caused me to swerve all over the road… I almost crashed and got in an accident… so I backhanded her.”
[...]
York says he and his woman are officially “back together.” [TMZ]

Of course they are.  Honestly, if you date a guy with eyebrows that look like that, you deserve to get backhanded from time to time.  And if York wants to learn some self-control, maybe he should try a personality test down at his former co-star Patrick “Ham” Renna’s Scientology center in Los Feliz.  And then we could lock the doors from the outside and gas them.  Don’t look at me like that, you know you were thinkin it.

(video working again)

Keira Knightley starred in this recent anti-domestic violence PSA directed by Atonement‘s Joe Wright in which she gets the crap kicked out her for 30 seconds.  It wisely employs the age old strategy of “let’s ruin everyone’s day with this ridiculously depressing commercial just in case the .000000000000001% of the population this has any chance of affecting happens to be watching.”  Don’t beat the sh-t out of my wife, you say?  Thanks, commercial!  Maybe if we act really serious about this problem it will magically disappear.

I prefer those PSAs Sean Connery did back in the 70s.  “Women: Shomtimesh they jusht have to have the lasht word.”  *More You Know music plays* Read the rest of this entry »