“Bella uses a custom eating chair because congenital megaesophagus prevents her from swallowing food while horizontal.” This is the best thing I have ever seen/heard. Video after the jump. (gif via tastefullyoffensive)

MORNING LINKS
COMEDY COMEDY COMEDY. Yo, to any San Franciscans within the sound of my words, I’ve got a show Tuesday night at 8 at the Milk Bar in the Haight. Check it. |DisagreeableGentlemen|

Louis CK’s new comedy special is now online. |Uproxx|

Did you know… Patton Oswalt was on Seinfeld once? Video evidence. |WarmingGlow|

The year’s greatest NFL parody song. |WithLeather|

17-year-old girl designs a nanoparticle. What did you do at 17? Probably that trick where you tuck your balls behind yourself to make it look like you’re a girl. |GammaSquad|

Angelina Jolie is starving herself for the childrens or something. |TheSuperficial|

Justin Bieber has a message for the dads out there. |Videogum|

Want to see if Nicole Sparks can cover both boobs with one hand? |GorillaMask|

The 9 most forgettable films of 2011. |ScreenJunkies|

7 terrible pizza innovations. |HolyTaco|

11 things you should know about reindeer. |MentalFloss|

Video: The most bench presses of a live dog in 30 seconds. |DogandPonyShow|

This 1970 commercial for a German shoe company is everything I’ve wanted in a German shoe company commercial from 1970. |TheDailyWhat|

Greg Jackson overheard telling Jon Jones not to be such a dick after his fight on Saturday. |CagePotato|

Read the rest of this entry »

This pug hates iphones. Or maybe he just hates commercials. He could be like the Gary Busey of dogs. |TDW|

MORNING LINKS
Congrats to The Smoking Section for being ranked in The Source’s Power 30 List. Uproxx comin up. Maybe someday I’ll get some respect from Sundance or RottenTomatoes. Hahahahahaha. |Smoking Section|

Five Cognitive Biases That Prove Your Brain Hates Science |Gamma Squad|

Pictured: 93-year-old Karl Slover, one of the last surviving munchkins from The Wizard of Oz.

The President Of Russia Has Cheerleaders Because Why Wouldn’t He? |With Leather|

Plot of Jack & Jill recreated with passive-aggressive quotes from scathing reviews |Film Drunk|

Corgi Friday: A Youtube-stravaganza |Warming Glow|

Meme Watch: Anti-Joke Chicken Is Ruining The Fun |UPROXX|

McRib With Bacon And Mozzarella Sticks |Buzzfeed|

Sasha Grey responds to the A-hole parents who whined about her reading to their kids. |TheSuperficial|

Baby loves notorious B.I.G. |Videogum|

11 scientists who experimented on themselves. I consider myself a jerk-off scientist. |MentalFloss|

A flowchart to determine what religion you should follow. |HolyTaco|

These dirty elephants got stuck in the mud. |TheDailyWhat|

A Star Wars AC/DC Mashup |DogAndPony|

7 awesome war films based on real veterans. |ScreenJunkies|

I Am Now a Central Part of Your Mind’s Landscape Whether You Care or Do Not: The Current Actor of Whom You’ve Had Your Fill |Pajiba|

Brooklyn Decker and Our Five Favorite Pages from the 2012 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar |Brobible|

15 Funny Real Life Sci-Fi Road Sign Hacks |Unreality|

Comments of the Week Nomination Thread. Like us on Facebook. Subscribe to the Frotcast (even if you don’t listen! just do it!)

Folks, there may be a brief lull in posting today as I’ve got a couple reviews to finish, but in the meantime, I thought we could all enjoy Jub Jub the Balancing Dog. As this video proves, he is REALLY GOOD at balancing things on his nose. No matter the item, JubJub can do it all.

• Pots
• Pieces of rope
• Slice of pizza
• A bone
• Biscuits
• Beer Can
• Lacrosse Stick
• N64 Cartridges

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE! No, JubJub is not strictly movie related. But I ask: Shouldn’t he be? Eat your heart out, Karate Dog.

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So, it’s pretty much exactly as described, a dog on a bicycle leading a conga line of other dogs.  I’m not the least bit disappointed.  The only thing that could make this better is Parry Gripp writing a song about it. That’ll do, internet, that’ll do. |via WithLeather|

MORNING LINKS

• Five Ways to Improve Your Funeral. |Uproxx|
• Today in Lady Parts |Uproxx|
• Wrestling Fans Are In Need Of Pen Pals. |WithLeather|
• Propaganda Posters In Favor Of Punching Nazi Dinosaurs In The Face. |GammaSquad|
• Every Bone Break from Every Steven Seagal Movie. GUESS HOW MANY. |FilmDrunk|
• The ‘Zangief Kid’ Goodwill Tour Continues. |WarmingGlow|
• IN. THE. FAAAAAAACE. |BostonBarstoolSports|
• This headline is not racist, it is hilarious. |NYCBarstool|
• Yelp Adds “Hipster” Option To Ambience Category. |Buzzfeed|
• How to write a manifesto. |TheDailyWhat|
• Justin Bieber claimed to have met Robert Pattinson but he totally didn’t and hey would you look at that, I blew my brains out. |TheSuperficial|
• Photoshop Fun: Disney characters in compromising situations. |UnrealityMag|
• Pole dancing for Jesus: it exists. |BroBible|
• WEDGIE BY CAR. |GorillaMask|
• Sexy Ninja Turtle CosPlay. |Clutch|
• Q & A with Jesse, the world’s greatest extra. |NextMovie|
• Pictures from Roman Polanski’s latest movie are more tame than you’d hope. |ScreenJunkies|

FilmDrunk on Facebook. FilmDrunk on Twitter. The Frotcast on iTunes. Comments of the week. FilmDrunk Shirts

Oh, dogs with hands, is there anything they CAN’T do? |via thedailywhat|

MORNING LINKS

• Clips from the Quentin Tarantino roast the only place you’ll find them online, plus, frotcasting galore. |Frotcast 26|

• Nuns who steal, a stunning exposé. |Uproxxnews|

• Three easy steps to surviving an alien abduction. |Uproxx|

• The 10 worst characters on the best TV shows. |WarmingGlow|

• 15 Classic rap remakes we’d like to hear. |SmokingSection|

• Conan O’Brian talks DC heroes who suck. |GammaSquad|

Forget puppies, this pygmy baby hippo is like a muffin basket got f*cked by a rainbow. |DailySquee|

• Gaming WikiLeaks: the biggest leaks in the videogame world. |G4|

• Tron-themed Christmas light optical illusion. |TheDailyWhat|

• An interview with the Avatar back tattoo guy. |UnrealityMag|

• It’s better when naked girls smile like this. Stop it with the cheesy sex faces. |GorillaMask|

• The best protest signs of 2010. |Buzzfeed|

• Is this the weirdest hockey goal of all time? |NYCBarstoolSports|

• Rappers review movies: Black Swan edition. |NextMovie|

• The internet explained! |HolyTaco|

• An interview with Mr. Johnny Depp. |Screenjunkies|

FilmDrunk on Facebook. FilmDrunk on Twitter. The Frotcast on iTunes. Comments of the week

My favorite Arizonian, Pauly Dangerously, rocking his FilmDrunk shirt. If there was a Mount Rushmore of FilmDrinking, this would probably be on it.

FilmDrunk Shirts on Sale