Michael Hazanavicius’s The Artist is a black and white, silent film that’s currently collecting awards hand over fist while it builds up Oscar buzz, and even though it sounds like exactly the type of fussy, masturbatory experiment in form that makes people hate award shows, I saw it and it was actually really good. Perhaps due in no small part to the scene-stealing performance of Uggie, a 9-year-old Jack Russell terrier who plays the protagonist’s dog. And so convincingly! Thanks to BestWeekEver, we have a new batch of pictures of Uggie (who also appeared in Water for Elephants) rocking the red carpet at a UK charity screening for Dog’s Trust. SPOILER ALERT: He also skateboards. EEEEE!

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Today’s Forgotten Classic is Bailey’s Billions — sorry, check that, Baileys Billion$, from 2005.  Bailey is a golden retriever, you see, and he has inherited a fortune from his late owner, much to the chagrin of her evil, greedy son, Tim Curry and his wife Jennifer Tilly, playing the same roles they did in Home Alone and Liar Liar, respectively. Bailey becomes CEO of the company, “My new boss is a golden retriever!” says Laurie Holden, while Tim Curry plots revenge in ridiculous clothes and Dean Cain talks to animals.  Oh, and did I mention the dog is voiced by Jon Lovitz?  (*spreads peanut butter on balls*)

Sadly there are no record scratch sound effects, but there is a (*sproi-yoing*) and some gratuitous dog-wearing-sunglass footage. Dogs wearing sunglasses are to me like firewater is to an Indian. They’re the reason I can’t hold a job.

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Movie news can get a little slow at times.  Luckily, movie olds is a bottomless well of hilarity – and dog movies! Long story short, that’s why we have the Forgotten Classics segment.

As you may have noticed, Forgotten Classics skews heavily in favor of dog movies, but 1991′s Bingo may be the best one yet.  The Washington Post calls him “a bona fide star, sort of a canine Macauley Culkin.”  Seriously, they did!  In the trailer, Bingo proves that he can:

• Get busted for DUI
• Pick up on bitches
• Hammer beers in his dog house
• Drive a truck
• Wave at other dogs with his paw
• Get involved in a prison riot
• Get the drop on a grizzly bear
• Snort coke with a clown
• Skateboard
• Testify in a court of law

And most importantly, he can cover his face with his paws.  Dog-covering-his-face-with-paws is like the money shot of a dog movie, only more satisfying.  I’m pretty sure Bingo is the long lost cousin of Birthday Dog and Party Dog.  Party Dog knows where the bitches at, yo.