(The Man of Bronze is Homophobic Turtle’s favorite hero. Because, uh, he’s so good at gettin’ chicks.)

Shane Black is rightly worshipped by those slightly less dorky than Joss Whedon fans for writing a slew of memorable action flicks in the 80s and directing Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (also my personal motto).  The latest is that he’s attached to direct and co-write Doc Savage, based on some sort of shirtless pulp hero from the 30s.  Says Wikipedia:

Doc Savage’s real name was Clark Savage, Jr.. He was a physician, surgeon, scientist, adventurer, inventor, explorer, researcher, and, as revealed in The Polar Treasure, a musician. A team of scientists assembled by his father deliberately trained his mind and body to near-superhuman abilities almost from birth, giving him great strength and endurance, a photographic memory, a mastery of the martial arts, and vast knowledge of the sciences. Doc is also a master of disguise and an excellent imitator of voices. “He rights wrongs and punishes evildoers.” Dent described the hero as a mix of Sherlock Holmes’ deductive abilities, Tarzan’s outstanding physical abilities, Craig Kennedy’s scientific education, and Abraham Lincoln’s goodness. Dent described Doc Savage as manifesting “Christliness.”

Which is all an elaborate way of saying “Bruce Greenwood.”

Shane Black is rightfully known as the last great pulp action-comedy writer of the late 80s and early 90s.  His credits include Lethal Weapon, Monster Squad, Last Action Hero, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (which he also directed), and my favorite, The Last Boy Scout.  The latest news is that he’s writing and possibly directing the film adaptation of Doc Savage as a 1930s period piece.  I don’t know what Doc Savage is, but I do know Wikipedia.

Doc Savage’s real name was Clark Savage, Jr.. He was a physician, surgeon, scientist, adventurer, inventor, explorer, researcher, and, as revealed in The Devil Genghis, a musician. A team of scientists assembled by his father deliberately trained his mind and body to near-superhuman abilities almost from birth, giving him great strength and endurance, a photographic memory, a mastery of the martial arts, and vast knowledge of the sciences. Doc is also a master of disguise and an excellent imitator of voices. “He rights wrongs and punishes evildoers.” Dent described the hero as a mix of Sherlock Holmes’ deductive abilities, Tarzan’s outstanding physical abilities, Craig Kennedy’s scientific education, and Abraham Lincoln’s goodness. Main writer Lester Dent described Doc Savage as manifesting “Christliness.”

So basically he’s like Neo, Wolverine, Jason Statham, Jesus Christ, and the sound-effects guy from Police Academy all rolled into one.  I think there’s only one guy who can play this character and his name is Vin Diesel.  He’s all of those things, plus he lives his life a quarter mile at a time.

[via AICN and Collider]