It’s A Supercut Of Leonardo DiCaprio Yelling

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.08.13

Joining other such living legends who deserve Academy Awards but have not yet won them, like Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum, Leonardo DiCaprio recently took a break from moistening panties to soaking tissues when he announced that he’d be taking a break from acting. While some outlets reported this news as a retirement, DiCaprio quashed that by saying he was just a little worn out from working so (thanklessly) hard on his spectacular performance in Django Unchained.

Fortunately, if he is going to spend considerable time on his yacht, developing his clone army of topless 19-year old models, the Huffington Post whipped up a supercut of some of DiCaprio’s greatest acting moments for us to enjoy while he’s gone. And by greatest acting moments I mean all of the times that he has yelled and screamed like someone is butchering his dog in front of him.

Read the rest of this entry »

2 Comments TAGS: , , , , , , ,

Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD & Streaming: Chris Kattan Unchained

Written by Morton Salt / 04.16.13

For once they managed to line up the names with the faces.

It’s another week without much going on in DVD land, but at least we’ve got Django Unchained hitting DVD today, and obviously I’m excited about Chris Kattan’s latest opus. We’ve also got a film starring Alison Brie & Lizzy Caplan, and another one starring Tom Sizemore. We’ve got southern ghosts and Australian ejaculators.  We’ve got escaped mental patients and modern-day messiahs.  There’s even a movie about four people having sex together -at the same time.  Wild, right?

The DVDs:
Django Unchained
Save The Date
The Colombian Connection
Future Weather
The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia
Not Suitable For Children
Escapee
Lamb Of God
4some
Jacob
This Is Our Time
Crazy Enough

Streaming: check out your choices here.

Want to more about Chris Kattan’s new film, Crazy Enough?  Continue reading to find out some behind the scenes secrets straight from the set.  Wondering which movie is about the ménage à quatre? If you really can’t guess, continue reading and you’ll find out.  On the other hand, if you’ve already seen Django Unchained and would really rather hear about movies you might actually want to watch, click the link above to jump straight to the Netflix suggestions.  You’ll never get to click on the  ‘Alison Brie-holding-a-dildo’ link I’ve got coming up, but that choice is yours to make. Read the rest of this entry »

20 Comments TAGS: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

China halts all Django Unchained screenings for ‘technical reasons’

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.11.13

Why yes, shutterstock *does* have a category for “disapproving Chinese”

Just a few days ago, stories went around about Tarantino supervising a cut of Django Unchained that would pass Chinese censors. He was said to be “turning the blood to a darker color,” and “lowering the height of the splatter of blood,” among other things. At the time it was reported:

It was not clear whether China’s State Administration of Radio, Film and Television (SARFT) will take a look at Django Unchained in the wake of Tarantino’s alterations, though reports last month said the film had been passed for release providing minor cuts were made.

Well it sounds like they weren’t too thrilled with the final product, as Django screenings were abruptly cancelled across the country. Some audience members said it was stopped just minutes into the screening, leading many to wonder if the projectionist had played trick.

Quentin TARANTINO’s Django Unchained was pulled from Chinese cinemas this morning, (11 Apr 2013), on its opening day. Midnight previews of the film had been held just a few days ago.
Distributors China Film Group and Huaxia Film Distribution were to have given the film a wide national release on behalf of Hollywood studio Sony Pictures.
On social media, cinema chains blamed the cancellation on “technical reasons”. Some audience members claimed that the film was stopped one minute into its projection at morning screenings with no clear explanation given.

“You might wonder how different theaters in different cities could have the same ‘technical’ difficulties. And technically speaking, the man from the government said he would throw our asses in forced labor camps if we continued.”

Read the rest of this entry »

8 Comments TAGS: , , , , ,

Will Smith explains why he turned down Django Unchained

Written by Vince Mancini / 03.25.13

Will Smith has 10 turtlenecks in different shades of black, depending on how “Serious Actor” he feels that day.

Will Smith has gotten obnoxiously boring since the Fresh Prince of Bel Air flip-turned him into a beloved, international superstar. Despite becoming known almost as much for his obnoxiously over-styled fashion children as his acting, Quentin Tarantino graciously offered him a chance to expand on his increasingly narrow goody-two-shoes persona by playing the lead in Django Unchained. But Will Smith turned it down. Now, he explains to Entertainment Weekly why, and his answer tells you everything you need to know about how it comes to be that guys like him and Tom Cruise with their pick of every script in town so often end up in generic movies.

Smith tells EW that he turned down the part because his character would’ve been second-fiddle to the bounty hunter (played by Christoph Waltz) who teaches Django his trade . “Django wasn’t the lead, so it was like, I need to be the lead. The other character was the lead!”

That’s right, Will Smith thought the character who SPOILER ALERT (seriously, ignore this next part of the sentence if you haven’t seen the film) dies three quarters of the way through was the lead. Did he actually read the whole script, or did he just skim his character’s lines to see how important they seemed? “I dunno, Q, this lead role just doesn’t seem lead-y enough, you know? I love the rags-to-riches story, but it starts off a bit unglamorous for my tastes.”

This next blockquote is also a little spoilery. And a lot head-slappy.

Read the rest of this entry »

71 Comments TAGS: , , , ,

2 Live Crew’s Uncle Luke: “Spike Lee is a bougie house negro”

Written by Vince Mancini / 01.16.13

Luther Campbell, aka Uncle Luke, is surely best known for writing songs like “Me So Horny” and “Pop That Coochie” with 2 Live Crew, but he has warranted mention on this site a few times before, like when he starred in a Sundance short where he has sex with some naked zombies. Basically, it’s not like he’s been sitting around his townhouse waiting for a comeback on Omelets with the Stars or something. Today he’s back in the news, having written an editorial for the Miami New Times referring to Spike Lee as “Hollywood’s resident house negro.” Uncle Luke has apparently been writing this New Times column for quite some time, but hardly any of us noticed until he started sh*tting on Spike Lee because we’re terrible.

Screw Spike Lee. Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained is a brilliant flick that more accurately depicts the African American experience than any of the 15 movies about black culture Lee’s directed in his lifetime.
[...]
Lee needs to get over himself. He’s upset because Tarantino makes better movies. The man who put Malcolm X on the big screen is Hollywood’s resident house negro; a bougie activist who wants to tell his fellow white auteurs how they can and can’t depict African Americans.
He complains that Tarantino uses “n*gger” too much (100 times) in Django Unchained, but show me a white man in the 1800s who wasn’t dropping n-bombs left and right.
Tarantino is one of Tinseltown’s most clever directors. Some of the most brutal scenes in Django Unchained are metaphors for the unfair racial inequality African-Americans still experience today. For instance, Leonardo DiCaprio’s plantation owner character Calvin Candie trains some of his male slaves to fight to the death in a sport called “Mandingo Fighting.”
When one of the slaves refuses to fight, Candie threatens to feed him to his wild dogs. That scene is analogous to professional boxing where white promoters control black fighters through fear and intimidation.
In another scene, a bunch of slaves are shocked to see Django riding a horse since blacks were never allowed to have one. That’s like the cops who stare at and then pull over the dude who is driving a Bentley on South Beach.
While on the horse, Django tells the slaves that he’ll treat them worse than any white man ever will. That’s the truth about blacks in positions of authority in today’s corporate America. They will treat blacks worse than any white boss every could.
Lee could never pull off a movie like this. When he’s not being an ass from his court side seats during New York Knicks games, he’s making bull crap films that most African Americans cannot relate to. [MiamiNewTimes/Luke's Gospel]

Obviously, I liked Django Unchained quite a bit, and I’m almost positive I didn’t come away from it with a rosier view of slavery or more desensitized to violence. I generally like Tarantino and think Spike Lee is generally the black version of Oliver Stone, a guy who claims many causes but none more than self-aggrandizement. In short, kind of a twat. That said, between this and Armond White calling Sam Jackson an Uncle Tom (I disagree with his analysis, but he made the occasional valid point), I’m a little uncomfortable with how quickly arguments over this film seem to devolve into vicious personal attacks. Which is to say, I can think of at least one more Mandingo Fighting parallel that should make us all a bit queasy about cheering too hard for this feud. Can’t we agree to disagree? I mean you didn’t hear white people calling each other race traitors because they didn’t like Crash. And it would’ve been just as valid because that movie was an embarrassment. Or The King’s Speech. In fact, if ever there was a white version of an Uncle Tom, it’s Colin Firth, that repressed motherf*cker.

31 Comments TAGS: , , , , , , ,

Sign Up

Follow Us