Opening Wide and Saying, “Ahhhhh”: Joyful Noise, Contraband, Beauty and the Beast 3D

Opening in Limited Release: The Iron Lady, We Need to Talk About Kevin

FilmDrunk Suggests: Not The Iron Lady, that’s for sure. Did you read Vince’s review? This one, right here. Man, that’s some brutal criticism. I don’t know who keeps giving that Meryl Streep lady jobs, but she needs to give up and go get her secretary’s license.

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Pixar’s latest movie, Brave, looks like a medieval Scottish version of Whip It, where the main girl’s family want her to wear dresses and braid hair, but she’s all like “WHATEVER, I’MA DO TOMBOY STUFF INSTEAD!” But it turns out reminding people of a Drew Barrymore movie isn’t their only problem, as now the Atlanta Braves are challenging Pixar’s attempt to trademark ‘Brave.’ STOP TRYING TO STEAL OUR WORD THAT WE STOLE FROM THE INDIANS AND USED TO CREATE A CRUDE, RACIAL CARICATURE!

It all started back in March of last year when we reported on trademark applications which appeared to have been confirming a title change for what was then known as The Bear and the Bow, but is now known to be Brave.

Fast forward to this past summer when — after filing a number of extensions — the Atlanta National League Baseball Club, owners of the Atlanta Braves,  formally filed an objection to many of the trademark applications. Although trademarks are specific to their singular and plural forms and the Braves do not possess any trademarks for the word BRAVE (only BRAVES), the organization believes that damages will occur as a result of Disney’s trademarks being approved as they have used the singular form before on merchandise and insist it is common for fans, media, et al to use the singular form when referring to a single player, whereas the pluralized form refers to the entire team.

Private negotiations between The Walt Disney Company and the Atlanta National League Ball Club are currently taking place in regards to several of the objected filings with the ball club intending to file an objection against yet another of the registrations. [StitchKingdom]

Now, I’m not a lawyer, but I think the problem here is that “brave” is actually a common word with various meanings, and people probably shouldn’t be allowed to “own” a word that’s already been in use for thousands of years. Except for that Precious chick with “Precious,” that just seems fair.

If you want to trademark a word, you have to make it up yourself. Like “dickfinch.” It’s a small bird that lives in your pants.

"Come... at me, bro."

Following up on yesterday’s sneak preview from the Today show, Disney has released the full trailer for John Carter. I can’t deny that it looks cool, but it kind of just makes me feel sad and jaded. There’s a ton of talent behind the camera, and I’m sure ten years ago the sheer spectacle would’ve melted our faces off, but now it just sort of looks like every other movie that came out this summer. Mix aliens from Green Lantern with plots of Avatar and Cowboys and Aliens, and voila, you’ve got this. The biggest selling point was going to be Willem Dafoe in a ridiculous outfit, but apparently he just voices the alien in the banner image. God, life sucks. You really ruined my morning, John Carter.

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Disney doesn’t seem too worried about Muppet overexposure (and *I* haven’t gotten sick of them yet), and today we have yet another new clip from The Muppets, starring the newest member of the gang, Walter. The clip is fairly uneventful and doesn’t quite fill me with the glee that previous clips did, but you have to admit that their matching jammies are pretty sweet. I think I’m most impressed with the way the puppeteer can perform fast, twitchy movements to make Walter visibly shake with excitement. It’s very convincing. He literally has more talent in his hand than Paul Walker does in his whole body. F*ckin’ Andy Serkis, man. What an actor.

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On November 23, millions of kids and adults who love to act like kids will be treated to The Muppets, the latest film about Jim Henson’s beloved puppets, brought to us by the Muppets’ No. 1 fan, Jason Segel. Segel and Nicholas Stoller wrote this new take, and James Bobin of “Flight of the Concords” fame is directing. And all of the marketing, promotional materials and trailers suggest that this is going to be an awesome movie and disappoint no one.

That is, no one but Muppet conservatives. Oh yes, they exist.

The concern among Muppets insiders is that Segel and director James Bobin (a writer on Da Ali G Show and Flight of the Conchords) didn’t have a complete understanding of the Muppets characters or were willing to sacrifice the characters’ integrity to land a joke. “They’re looking at the script on a joke-by-joke basis, rather than as a construction of character and story,” says one.

A small example is in one of the many trailers Disney has released, when Fozzie makes a fart joke. “We wouldn’t do that; it’s too cheap,” says another Muppets veteran. “It may not seem like much in this world of [Judd] Apatow humor, but the characters don’t go to that place.”

(Via the Hollywood Reporter)

That’s right, the Muppets are above fart jokes and we should be outraged – OUTRAGED! – that Segel gave Fozzie a pair of fart shoes. And if you think that the complaints can’t get much worse than objections to fart humor, well hold on to your bottle cap collection.

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