Back in August, I brought you the news that Disney had dropped plans to make a Jerry Bruckheimer-produced Lone Ranger movie starring Armie Hammer with Johnny Depp as Tonto. The reason? It was going to cost between $250 and $275 million, which seems slightly expensive for a western. Well now, the principals have reportedly come to a deal, agreeing to make the film for a paltry $215 million, reteaming Johnny Depp with Gore Verbinski and the team behind the first three Pirates movies. HEROES! It’s so nice when people can put aside petty greed for a soulless cash grab.

Last we heard, the project was so expensive partly because it had frickin’ werewolves in it. But according to THR, those got dropped before the current incarnation. WHAT?! BUT YOU CAN’T MAKE A LONE RANGER MOVIE WITHOUT WEREWOLVES!

The original script included werewolves and other supernatural creatures from Native American myths [WENDINGO!!! -Ed.]. Those bells and whistles have been jettisoned, but according to sources who have read recent drafts, three massive action set pieces involving trains remain, including one described as the biggest train sequence in film history. [THR]

Ooh, trains, we’ll need an experience injun tracker to find one of those. Meanwhile, here’s what Terry Rossio had to say about the draft of the script he co-wrote and Johnny Depp’s interest in the project:

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"Eat my litter box, you dirty sky primate!"

Disney has announced a historic partnership with James Cameron and Jon Landau to bring Avatar-themed attractions to Disney theme parks. Which probably won’t be as much fun as, say, gay Avatar-themed sex parties, but will be fun for the whole family. NOBLE SAVAGES GET IN HALF-PRICE!

If the sign for Pandora-land isn’t in Papyrus font, there is no God.

The first themed “land” will be built at Disney World in Orlando, Florida, with construction expected to start by 2013.
The first Avatar attraction will be inside the Animal Kingdom park. Disney said this was chosen because “with its emphasis on living in harmony with nature, Animal Kingdom is a natural fit for the Avatar stories, which share the same philosophy.”

Yes, because nothing says “living in harmony with nature” like “Orlando, Florida.”

Or, as the Avatards on the Avatar forums put it, “The Na’vi are so pure in everything they do, valueing life to their utmost potential. i would so much rather leave this life style and world to live their ways in their world. I think it would be sad to see us humans currupt the Na’vi into the (sorry to say) monsters most humans have become.” [sic]

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Disney’s second D23 Expo took place in Anaheim over the weekend, and I’m sad I missed it because I love self-congratulatory industry circle jerks run by the marketing department (especially when they serve sliders!). Luckily, there’s this thing called the internet where the people who did go can SHARE THE NEWS FOR ALL! What an incredible time it is to be alive. Here’s your rundown:

Hot on the heels of the set pictures that hit over the weekend, The Avengers cast was on hand for a sneak peek. One thing is certain: Chris Hemsworth is still tall and handsome with piercing blue eyes and oh god can’t stop imagining what he smells like. So… do these people actually get to film a movie between attending conventions? |Hitfix|

Up co-director Pete Docter is set to direct “The Untitled Pixar Movie That Takes You Inside The Mind.” ThePlaylist reports taht Little Miss Sunshine/Toy Story 3 writer Michael Arnt is writing the script. I’m expecting Inception with less (*braaaahm*)s, and more talking dogs. |/Film|

Up‘s OTHER co-director, Bob Peterson (who also voiced Dug the Dog), will direct a film that takes place in a modern world where dinosaurs never went extinct. It’d be cool if the dinosaurs stomped around wrecking sh*t, but knowing Pixar, they’ll probably just be super cute. |USAToday|

John C. Reilly to voice “Wreck-It Ralph”, a CG-animated feature about an 8-bit arcade game villain desperate to change his image who invades other arcade games trying to become a hero. John C. Reilly is pretty much the best, and if you disagree I’m duty bound to fight you. I also have my fingers crossed for a Billy Mitchell cameo. His hot sauce tastes like America. |CinemaBlend|

Details about Brave, Pixar’s next release, which is still almost a year away. It’s definitely about a “tough girl badass”, but hopefully Pixar will do a better job with it than Salt, Hanna, Colombiana, Haywire, and the other six thousand movies with that same plot. |/Film|

Footage screened from Frankenweenie, Tim Burton’s stop-motion, 3D-animated, black-and-white film about a zombie dog. I love dogs, but I think wiener dogs are my least favorite. Is that racist? Discuss. |ComingSoon|

Speaking at a conference over the weekend, Disney’s Chief Technical Officer Andy Hendrickson expressed a view moviegoers have long assumed studio execs held:

“People say ‘It’s all about the story.’ When you’re making tentpole films, bullsh*t.”

The worst part is, he apparently thought this was a revolutionary statement. Don’t worry, Hoss, we all saw Indy 4. Here’s the longer account, from Variety:

Disney Animation Studios chief technical officer Andy Hendrickson, in a talk at the Siggraph conference Sunday, laid out the thinking behind the studio’s feature strategy. The bottom line: The average number of viewers per release is falling, and studios need to fight that trend with tentpoles.
The number of tickets sold domestically, Hendrickson said, is roughly flat since 2005. But with the exception of a drop after the 2008 financial crisis, the number of titles released has grown considerably. Even that dropoff only took the number of 2010 tiles back to 2006 levels. Therefore the average number of viewers per release is falling.
“Profit equals the ability to capture more than the average share of viewers,” Hendrickson told attendees at the confab in Vancouver.

Ahh, I see he graduated from Nancy Grace University with a degree in Convoluted Ways to State the Obvious. He went on to say…

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I’m excited to report this story, because just the phrase “bloated tentpole” gets me all hot and bothered (mmm, yeah, baby, I want you in all four quadrants). So last we heard, Disney had cancelled Bruckheimer’s (bloated tentpole) The Lone Ranger, because it was going to cost $250 million. And it cost $250 million because, obviously, it had werewolves in it (or more specifically, according to ThePlaylist, “supernatural wolves” – “the 2009 draft we read by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio features supernatural wolves, a legion of coyotes and the Wendigo, a cannibalistic Native American spirit”).

Today, the Hollywood Reporter says that in the most recent script, the werewolves were gone. …And it was STILL going to cost $250 million. Why the what I don’t even…

According to sources who have read recent drafts, three massive action set pieces involving trains remain, including one described as the biggest train sequence in film history.

Was a it a train sequence EVEN BIGGER THAN A MISSILE THE SIZE OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING??!? Anyway, you’ll be glad to learn that they’re still trying to get this film made, and the latest is that Jerry Bruckheimer and director Gore Verbinski have lowered their fees by $10 million (!!!) and trimmed the budget to around $242 million. But Disney still wants it at $220 million or less. And even at that price, they claim it would have to gross $800 million worldwide just to turn a profit. Holy. Sh*t.

Even at the cost Disney has targeted, the film would have to gross about $800 million worldwide to be profitable when marketing and rich backends to Depp, Verbinski and Bruckheimer are factored in.

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