Not only are Seltzer-Friedberg’s movies worse than cancer, now they’re insulting New Orleans or some shit. Because some people think releasing a film called Disaster Movie on the third anniversary of Hurricane Katrina is in poor taste. Writes Nikki Finke:

The studio that has hawked torture porn for years has now decided to make a buck off the suffering of hundreds of thousands of people, and on the eve of another terrible storm about to strike the Gulf states. “Around these Katrina-scarred parts, Aug. 29 is still — and will be for some time — a black-armband kind of day,” criticized Mike Scott, the movie writer for the local newspaper The Times-Picayune.

Well that’s enough for me. Burn the witches, burn them! I’ll bring the marshmallows! Meanwhile, Lionsgate of course pleads unfortunate coincidence.

“The film does not depict or parody any actual natural disaster, and the release date of ‘Disaster Movie’ is in no way a reference to or joke about the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina,” read a studio statement prepared for The Times-Picayune.

Hold on, Mr. Obvious is shoving me out of the way, he wants to type something – Hey. Why the f-ck did you name the movie Disaster Movie if it has nothing to do with disasters? Okay, I’m back. Getting your feathers ruffled about the name of a stupid movie seems a little silly, but if it means something bad happening to Seltzer-Friedberg, it’s hard to argue with the outcome. It’s kind of like that scene in Schindler’s List where the Nazis make the Jews run around the track naked. On the one hand, that was a really mean thing to do. On the other hand, titties!

After the jump I’ve got video of Carmen Electra putting clothes on (sort of) just long enough to introduce a new clip from Disaster Movie, in which she wrestles Kim Kardashian and does other stuff that hilariously references pop culture.  Now, I know that when you’re a 36-year-old former Playmate with little acting experience, you’re probably not getting offered the best roles.   You probably want to cash in in the next few years while people still care about seeing you naked.  But Carmen, being in a Seltzer-Friedberg joint is just embarrassing.  It’s degrading, it’s harmful to your career, and in the end, probably doesn’t make you that much money. 

I have a much better idea: we get you, me, a video camera, and 10 midgets to come on your face while I film it.  We’ll call it Carmen Electra’s Midget Bukakke Boogaloo and sell DVDs on late night television between Girls Gone Wild spots.  We’ll split the profits 70-30 (after all, my reputation is on the line here). I’m telling you babe, this is your retirement plan. 

Not screening a movie for the press is a tacit admission by the studio that the movie really, really sucks.  It says the more people know about this movie, the less likely they are to see it.  That said, it’s totally surprising that Lionsgate won’t be screening Disaster Movie (watch the trailer).  Imagine all the good buzz they’re missing out on.

It was very funny when they made fun of Miley Cyrus by implying that even after being crushed by a meteor she’d still act perky and plug her new album, because I could easily imagine her doing that. –Glen from Oregon

When fake Will Smith hit his head on a lamppost and said, "Hell naw," I laughed so hard I crapped on a turtle! –Roger Ebert

See? I totally passed up a cancer joke there.  Though it’s pretty sad when taking the high road still involves a joke about pooping on a turtle.

[Source = CinemaBlend]

The official poster for Disaster Movie (trailer here) has hit the web, and what a surprise!  It’s just a bunch of pop-culture references hastily slapped together!  I bet no one saw that coming!

My favorite part is the midget Indiana Jones.  Damn, these guys are clever.  But… wait, where have I seen that before?  Oh that’s right, UWE BOLL DID IT.  YOU STOLE FROM UWE BOLL.  I hope you’re happy Seltzer/Friedberg, because literally everyone else in the entire world wishes you were dead.

I know how you’ve all been waiting on pins and needles for this moment, and praise Allah it’s finally here.  That’s right, the official Disaster Movie plot synopsis!

"In DISASTER MOVIE, the filmmaking team behind the [s]hits "Scary Movie," "Date Movie," "Epic Movie" and "Meet The Spartans" this time puts its unique, inimitable stamp on one of the biggest and most bloated movie genres of all time – the disaster film.

DISASTER MOVIE follows the comic misadventures of a group of ridiculously attractive twenty-somethings during one fateful night as they try to make their way to safety while every known natural disaster and catastrophic event – asteroids, twisters, earthquakes, the works – hits the city and their path as they try to solve a series of mysteries to end the rampant destruction.

Taking aim at everything and everyone, from "Indiana Jones" [Not a disaster movie] and "Iron Man" [Also not a disaster movie] to Amy Winehouse [A disaster, maybe, but clearly not a movie] and High School Musical [Only a disaster if your male child is obsessed with it], DISASTER MOVIE lampoons the blockbuster movie, pop culture icons and public figures along the way as Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer satirize everything as only they can.

If by “satirize” you mean take things that were funny to begin with and make them unfunny and filled with totally unrelated pop culture references, then yes, I’m sure that’s what they’ll do.  Who are these guys?  I’m not sure they’re actual people so much as a biblical plague.  Seriously, I would drink 10 gallons of lamb’s blood if God would smite them.  That’s how it works, right?  I can’t remember, I stopped going to church after one of the snakes bit pa.