We’ve got the scoop on Danny Trejo’s next project, before it even has an IMDB page. It’s called Babysitters Beware, co-starring the kid from Modern Family. Needless to say, it looks pretty legit.
“Mira, these keeds are dribeen me loco.”
“I tole you, pendejo, ees not a tumor.”
“Oye, wheech one of ju putos called for the babyseeter?” (*racks shotgun*)
“That’s right, ése, eet’s nap time.” (*racks shotgun*)
[Thanks to Marc T for the tip]
Friends, it’s been a great week for dogs-in-sunglasses news. Our future’s so bright, dogs’ gotta wear shades. First, this week saw the release– well, not the release, but BestWeekEver discovered the trailer, for the direct-to-DVD film, Cool Dog. I’ve got the trailer for that below, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but OMG DOG PLAYING PIANO DOG PLAYING PIANO!!! Oh, Cool Dog, you make Harry Connick Jr. look like Josh Groban.
In other news, the Associated Press has discovered new documents exposing the original White Dog:
Newly discovered documents have revealed a bizarre footnote to the history of the Second World War: a Finnish mutt whose imitation of the Hitler salute enraged the Nazis so deeply that they started an obsessive campaign against the dog’s owner.
PLAY HEEM OFF, MEIN KEYBOARD CAT, OFF TO ZEE CONZENTRAZION KAMPZ!
Would a hyrax by any other name...
In what may go down as one of the weirdest press releases ever, uh… released, Miramax has announced a partnership with The Weinstein Company to produce sequels of Miramax’s most popular titles. Planned sequels mentioned in the release include (*deep breath*)…
Uh… don’t Clerks, From Dusk Till Dawn, Bridget Jones’s Diary, and Amityville Horror already have plenty of terrible sequels? And I’m pretty sure there’s not a queer alive who was hoping for a Shakespeare in Love sequel. Anyway, if you guessed these are being planned as “special edition home entertainment products”, DING DING DING! You win the prize. That’s right, Miramax and Weinstein are going into the crappy, direct-to-DVD sequel business. I imagine the hardest part will be rewriting all those roles for Eugene Levy.
Ticked Off Trannies with Knives played at the Tribeca Film Festival in March, even though GLAAD tried to get it pulled (because even movies directed and acted by gay men are deemed offensive if they don’t use GLAAD-approved words), but somehow the DVD release tucked under my radar. It got a small release from Breaking Glass Pictures last month, and now I can share with you this trailer. To be honest, I see some trannies and I some some knives, but not nearly the amount of trannies with knives I was expecting. I hate to say it, but this movie doesn’t look very good. Some of those chicks were pretty hot though.
Did the voice-over guy really pronounce “éses” as “esses?” This never would’ve happened had Danny Trejo been involved.
[hat tip: BreakHorror]
Stephon Urquelle would never run screaming like that
With a solid track record of critically-acclaimed novelty knockoffs of popular hits like “Transmorphers,” direct-to-DVD specialists The Asylum (slogan: confused moms choose The Asylum!) have just released the trailer for their sequel to Megashark vs. Giant Octopus (starring Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas), Megashark vs. Crocosaurus, starring Family Matters’ Urkel obscurity’s Jaleel White. Let me be the first to say: You’ve done it again, Asylum! This movie has everything:
Why if this film screamed quality any louder, you’d have to watch it inside a shiny Rolls Royce.
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