Unless you’re well versed in obscure celebrity beefs, you might not remember that, as of last March, Human Centipede director Tom Six had planned to sue his star, Dieter Laser, for breach of contract for pulling out of The Human Centipede 3. Laser’s reason? I shit you not, creative disagreements. God only knows what had to be in a script for a guy who played an evil doctor who stitches people’s mouths to their assh*les to object to it, but luckily this story has a happy ending: Laser and Six have made up and will be re-uniting for The Human Centipede 3, the most hotly-anticipated movie about shit eaters since Rock of Ages. I’m told this one will be 500% more medically accurate.

Last March, it was reported that Dutch filmmaker Six, who wrote and directed both 2010′s Human Centipede (First Sequence) and the following year’s The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), was threatening to sue Laser for breach of contract. At the time, Ilona Six — Tom Six’s sister and the co-producer of the Human Centipede series — issued a statement claiming that Laser’s ego had “grown to laughably big proportions,” that the actor had demanded “unacceptable script changes,” and that he had backed out of the project “only seven weeks prior to shooting.”

“Look, all I ask is three things: I don’t want to play that stupid doctor, I don’t want to see any a-to-m scenes, and I get to fight a giant spider in the third act.”

The producer has now confirmed to EW that the lawsuit has been dropped and Laser, who memorably portrayed a deranged surgeon in the first film, will play a lead role in the franchise’s third entry. Laser will not, however, play the same character he did in Human Centipede. According to the producer, Laser and Human Centipede 2 star Laurence R. Harvey are set to play a new, villainous duo “with a storyline no one will expect.” Ilona Six also announced that “a big American celebrity” is set to appear in the film, which will start shooting in the U.S. this May. Finally, the producer confirmed the third film will feature a human centipede of more than 500 people.

That big American celebrity? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

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Human Centipede director Tom Six issued a press release today saying he’s suing lead actor Dieter Laser (can you believe that’s the name of a person? it sounds like a Nazi weapon) over breach of contract after Laser bailed on Human Centipede 3: The Poopiest Poop. At least, that’s the official story. If you ask me, the whole thing reeks of a publicity stunt. …Get it? Reeks? Nevermind, way too subtle a joke for a movie about people shitting in each other’s mouths. 

Here’s the press release via Best Movie News Ever (which I’d never heard of before today):

Tom Six’s company will sue Dieter Laser.

Because of the success of The Human Centipede, it seems that Mr Dieter Laser’s ego has grown to laughably big proportions. First signing the contract and rating the THC3 script as fantastic ,and then demanding his own unacceptable script changes, and now refusing to play the part only seven weeks prior to shooting. Six Entertainment Company will start legal action against Dieter Laser. Tom Six says not to worry – principal
photography will be postponed and will take place later this year.

Best Regards,

Ilona Six
Film Producer [via BleedingCool]

“Tom Six’s very professional, very official business company will file a legal suit in a court of law. Signed, Tom Six’s sister.” A+ press release there, guys. Meanwhile, Dieter Laser shat his side of the story into the eager, waiting mouths of Screenread (better? I went less subtle this time):

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Knowing how much you guys love going ass to mouth, I dug up this new clip from The Human Centipede (The First Sequence). You remember, it’s that evil-scientist-creates-an-ass-to-mouth-human-centipede movie.  The one that’s supposedly “100% medically accurate.“   The new clip shows the two girls, played by Ashley Williams and Ashlynn Yennie (Ashley and Ashlynn, the names I plan to someday give my twin daughters in the hopes that they’ll follow in their mom’s footsteps at the Jacksonville Hooters) who wander into evil doctor Dieter Laser’s house.  The girls, whose car has broken down, get a little creeped out by Dieter’s giant painting of siamese-twin blobs (foreshadowing!) on the mantel, but other than that he seems totally legit.  In fact, I think I met this dude once on a vannin tour with Rooster and Trish.  He was president of the New England Van Council, German delegation.

I included a bonus pic of him and his new friend, Unimpressed Cassowary. [via ShockTillYouDrop]