I first told you about Ben Affleck’s Argo a few months ago, his third directawrial effit fawllowing the awbvious and totally wahrranted success of The Town, GO SAWX. It’s based on a 2007 Wired article, “How the CIA Used a Fake Sci-Fi Flick to Rescue Americans from Tehran,” about how a group of CIA operatives passed themselves off as the crew of a fake sci-fi film called Argo to rescue diplomats who’d gone into hiding after the Iranian revolution. Affleck will play CIA ‘exfiltration specialist’ Tony Mendez. Cast also includes Bryan Cranston, Alan Arkin, and John Goodman.

Empire just broke the first official image, and all I can think about is how much Affleck is a dead ringer for Harry Ellis in Die Hard (played by the incomparable Hart Bochner). Only he’s playing him very serious. That was always what I liked about Harry Ellis, he never took things too seriously. “See that watch? It’s a Rolex.”

“Babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Ayatollotrash. Hey! Sprecken sie talk*? Homeini! Bubbie! …I’m your white knight.”

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I got sent a lot of mash-ups and holiday-themed videos this week, but this one was the only one that inspired me to post it. That has to count for something, right? It’s just that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie of all time, and this mash-up (“Die Hard, Interrupted”), from RigorTortoiseComedy, took a novel approach. And it’s hard to go wrong with Hans Gruber, I always say.

Join me after the jump for some additional Die Hard trivia.

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Tom Rothman, CEO of Fox’s film division, was a guest on Jim Rome’s radio show this morning, where he revealed that the title of the upcoming fifth Die Hard movie will be “A Good Day to Die Hard.” After that, Rome kept calling him “Tanya” until he flipped over a table. Seriously though, what the hell was that guy doing on Jim Rome?

In any case, this means that before settling on A Good Day to Die Hard, Rothman and Fox must’ve rejected any number of “die” title puns, which may or may not have included:

• Die Hard Another Day
• Live and Let Die Hard
• 2000 Ways to Die Hard
• Romeo Must Die Hard
• Die, Die, Die Hard My Darling
• To Die Hard For
• Funny or Die Hard
• Get Rich or Die Hard Tryin’
• John Tucker Must Die Hard
• The Quick and the Die Hard
• Things to Do in Denver When You’re Die Hard
• The Die Harder They Come
• Die Hard Ticket to Hawaii
• Damn, Girl, You’re Gettin’ Me So Die Hard Right Now
• To Live and Die Hard in LA
• Boys Don’t Cry Hard
• Pie Hard
• Schindler’s Die Hard

Meanwhile, here’s some actual information that was revealed:

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Noam Murro had been attached to direct Die Hard 5 since June, taking over for Live Free or Die Hard’s Len Wiseman, who’s now directing a Total Recall remake starring Colin Farrell. But Murro recently had to leave the project in order to work on the 300 sequel, 300: Battle of Artimisia. BUT FEAR NOT, DEAR READER! THAT WON’T STOP HOLLYWOOD’S PLANS FOR DIE HARD NUMBER WHATEVER THIS IS!

Who will take the helm in his place? Nothing is definite yet but our sources tell us that John Moore (Behind Enemy Lines, Max Payne) has been told that the film is essentially his to take or leave.
While the directing situation on Die Hard 5 is not yet clear we do have the first real plot details for the picture. In keeping with the trend of each Die Hard movie being larger than the last the fifth installment is going to move into international territory. Our sources tell us Die Hard 5 will be set largely in Russia with John McClane accompanied there by his son and the two drawn into a conflict with local forces. Cue multi-generational wisecracking. [Twitch]

Just to recap, the director of the previous unnecessary sequel left to do an unnecessary remake, and then his replacement left to do an unnecessary sequel. And now the unnecessary sequel to the last unnecessary sequel will probably be left in the hands of a guy who last directed a universally-pannedadaptation of a videogame. And people say Hollywood’s out of ideas.

I remember Ben Stiller making fun of Die Hard when Ben Stiller still had a show on MTV.

With movies like Die Hard, Predator, and The Hunt for Red October on his resume, John McTiernan was once one of the hottest directors in town, a Brett Ratner before there was Brett Ratner.  Then, in a story as old as time, he tried to make a movie about a futuristic roller derby starring Chris Klein and LL Cool J.  HIS EMPIRE CRUMBLED!

John McTiernan has been handed a one-year sentence for committing perjury during the trial of P.I.-to-the-stars Anthony Pellicano [yes, his nickname is "The Pelican." Duh.]
During the investigation into Pellicano’s nefarious dealings, it came to light that McTiernan hired him, paying $50,000 to wiretap “Rollerball” producer Charles Roven. McTiernan inititally lied to the FBI about his involvement. [ThePlaylist]

If this story sounds familiar, it’s because back in 2007 McTiernan was sentenced to four months for the same crime.  And then…

Fischer originally sentenced McTiernan in 2007 to 4 months in prison after denying his motion to withdraw his guilty plea. But the U.S. Court of Appeals in San Francisco in 2008 said McTiernan should get a new hearing. So last year he was allowed to withdraw his guilty plea because his previous lawyer hadn’t told him he could have tried to suppress the incriminating recording as evidence. [...]
His one-year federal prison term was handed down this morning at a sentencing hearing presided over by the same judge he lied to, U.S. District Judge Dale Fischer. Fischer also ordered McTiernan to pay a $100,000 fine and serve three years probation.

LAWYER:  The great news is that your appeal went through!  You’re getting a new trial!
MCTIERNAN:  That’s great!  Wait, what’s the bad news?
LAWYER:  They found you guilty again and sentenced you to three times as much jail time.
MCTIERNAN:  WHAT?!?
LAWYER: Yeah… you know, a ‘thank you’ would’ve been nice. By the way, you owe me eighty-six thousand dollars.