Here’s James Franco lip-synching to a Justin Bieber song with Ashley Benson (yowza!) to flash light. For… art? Yeah, it’s probably performance art. Man. It’s a lot easier to not hate Justin Bieber when you haven’t heard his music. That’s what it sounds like? Good God. That’s like Twilight for your ears. [via HuffPo]

MORNING LINKS
Steven Seagal owns a bullet-proof kimono. This is not a joke. |Film Drunk|

2013 Will Usher In Important Anniversaries For 20 Great Albums |UPROXX|

Baby Goose is known to do a portrait of himself for his adoring fans. [via Videogum]

Hardcore Porn Played Behind A Swedish TV News Broadcast For 10 Minutes |Warming Glow|

Brazilian Hookers Are Learning English For The 2014 World Cup Tournament |With Leather|

So We Officially Have Video Of The Giant Squid In Its Natural Habitat |Gamma Squad|

10 Naughty By Nature Songs Everyone Should Know |Smoking Section|

Gruden Talk: Jon Discusses Marijuana Legalization With NORML’s Dr. Dale Gieringer |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Everyone Wants To Bang Katherine Webb |The Superficial|

29 Poor Excuses For Celebrity Websites |Buzzfeed|

4 Rejected ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ Posters |NextMovie|

Whole Lotta Helter Skelter |Clip Nation|

5 Fictional Ways to Go Fast in Space |Mental Floss|

Honest Trailers: ‘Inception’ |Screen Junkies|

Tarantino Infographic Breaks Down the N-Bombs |Film.com|

Why It’s Hard To Write A Sequel |Unreality|

Justin Bieber Blamed the Black Guy |IDLYITW|

5 Beloved TV Backsides Sloppier Than Lena Dunham’s |Pajiba|

This is what the waiting room to hell sounds like |Fark|

Guess Who Paulina Gretzky Is Reportedly Dating? |Brobible|

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[via fckyeahdementia]

MORNING LINKS
Check out our latest Frotcast, talking Cabin in the Woods and the latest Hot Goss™. |Frotcast|

Random Throwback Photo Of The Day: Sinbad Played College Basketball |With Leather|

Rejoice, Total Recall Will Have A Three-Boobed Hooker After All |Gamma Squad|

TV GIFs of the Week |Warming Glow|

Australian Spoon-Playing Lady Spoons The Sh*t Out Of The Black Keys’ ‘Lonely Boy’ |UPROXX|

The 10 Companies Who Control (Almost) Everything We Buy |Smoking Section|

25 Incredible Pictures Of The Space Shuttle Enterprise Going Over New York City |Buzzfeed|

A clingy Siberian Husky |TheDailyWhat|

Chris Brown’s Selling Pit Bulls Online Now |TheSuperficial|

13 WTF Dating Books |HuffPost Comedy|

Even More Super Secret Menus |College Humor|

Uggie from The Artist got a book deal |Videogum|

14 daunting books that every man should read. Subby has read less than zero of these |Fark|

The Expendables 2 Character Posters: One of These Guys Is Not Like the Other (Hint: It’s Not the Black Guy) |Pajiba|

19 Fun Facts About Children’s Books Spotted at the Library |Mentalfloss|

90s TV Show Sidekicks Then and Now |Unreality|

A Bathroom With A 15-Story View |High Definite|

7 Revenge Movie You Should Seek Out At Any Cost |ScreenJunkies|

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James Franco released the trailer for his possible web series, Undergrads, cryptically and with little fanfare on JamesFrancoTV, so it’s a little hard to tell yet just how much and how deeply we’re being dicknosed. What we do know is that there’s a trailer, which Franco introduced by saying “My new show #UNDERGRADS.”

The trailer says it plays Thursdays at 8pm (on the web, presumably), and it shows college kids drinking and getting laid, and talking about drinking and getting laid, set to montage editing and pop music. Basically, every show on MTV. But knowing James Franco, it will probably also be a proto-meta, hyper-autobiographical pseudo-meditation on the very nature of self-referentiality, invoking interrelational aestheticism and an inclusion of the viewer vis a vis the viewed in a Nicolas Bourriaudian cross examination of patriarchal subjectivity. But I mean, that’s just a guess.

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I know many of you are probably tired of James Franco and his antics, but I can’t get enough of him unapologetically dicknosing his way through every artistic medium. His plan to dicknose art in every orifice continues with Francophrenia, which will play at the Rotterdam International Film Festival at the end of the month.

The feature, alternatively titled Don’t Kill Me, I Know Where the Baby Is, is described as a “humorous psycho-thriller.” Franco and co-director Ian Olds made it by writing a new script for existing footage shot by Franco on General Hospital, where the Oscar-nominated actor has a recurring role as an avant-guarde [sic] artist called Franco. Franchophrenia will screen in Rotterdam’s main Spectrum Section. [THR]

So basically, a fancy version of one of those editing projects where you take a thriller and cut it so it looks like a rom-com, or vice versa.

Meanwhile, Franco also recently sold his first novel, to go along with his short story collection, Palo Alto, which came out last year. The novel is called Actors Anonymous. Will it be a hyper-meta, semi-autobiographical meditation on self-reference, invoking relational aesthetics and an inclusion of the viewer in a Nicolas Bourriaudian examination of the nature of subjectivity? You bet your dicknose it will!

The novel is  said to be a fictionalized version of Mr. Franco’s experiences as an actor (and grad student?). It was acquired by Amazon’s fiction editor Ed Park from Mr. Franco’s agent, Richard Abate. [Observer]

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A fired NYU acting professor is blaming his dismissal on James Franco, arguing in a recent lawsuit that the university was kissing up to their star pupil by firing the teacher who gave him a D. Yeah, either that or this “professor” simply demonstrated his own incompetence by failing to grasp the meta-textual hypersubtleties inherent to a

José Angel Santana said he slapped the “127 Hours’’ star with the bad grade because he missed 12 of his 14 “Directing the Actor II” classes while pursuing a master’s in fine arts [at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts].
Santana said he then suffered all kinds of drama — first from Franco, who publicly ridiculed him [video of that below], then from his department, which axed him over the “D.”
“The school has bent over backwards to create a Franco-friendly environment, that’s for sure,” Santana, 58, told The Post. “The university has done everything in its power to curry favor with James Franco.”

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