(Hef pickup line: “Does that kitty drink powdered milk?”)

I’ve fiddled with various ways to introduce this story for about 40 minutes now, but the long and short of it is that Hugh Hefner recently said on Twitter that he was meeting with Diablo Cody about the Playboy/Hugh Hefner biopic movie:

“Meeting with Diablo Cody to talk about the Brian Grazer Playboy film today.”

Aaand that’s pretty much all we know.  At one point, Brett Ratner was set to direct this project, but with Youngblood (the comic book), Beverly Hills Cop 4, and a big cheesy pile of nachos bellgrande currently on his plate, that’s probably not going to happen.  Diablo Cody is an avid Twitterer herself, and though she’s said plenty about buying Hanes underwear and reactions to ‘J-Bod’, she says nothing of a Playboy movie.  So does this mean Diablo Cody is going to write the script for the Playboy movie?  Maybe.  Or maybe Hef just wanted her to read it.  Or maybe he needed some zingers about Brian Grazer’s hair.  But whatever they discussed, I’m sure the room smelled like Thai food.

[via Cinematical]

(Dear Penthouse Forum…)

Looks like everyones favorite birth name is back in the news today (relax dude, it’s not you). Diablo Cody has signed on (presumably in the brightest sparkle crayon she could find) to write/produce a theatrical version of the popular book series Sweet Valley High, per Variety. You may recall the Sweet Valley High series as “those rectangles I use to keep my coke table level”, but they’re actually books. And they open up to reveal knowledge…about twins!!! *chugs beer as lightning bolt transforms landlord into bikini model*

Diablo Cody’s heading back to high school, signing on to write and produce an adaptation of the “Sweet Valley High” book series for Universal. Mason Novick, Adam Siegel and Marc Platt are also producing.

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(picture source = Durden)

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs took number one at the box office this weekend with $30.1 million, which is slightly better than Bolt and slightly worse than G-Force, despite largely positive reviews.  The production budget is listed at $100 million, so it’s not what you’d call a huge hit.

The Informant! did okay business ($10.5 mil) in number two, Tyler Perry added to his bank roll, not that that was ever in question, and Love Happens and Jennifer’s Body pretty much tanked.  Love Happens‘ bomb is no surprise.  When it looks like penis kryptonite AND a sappy turd (as opposed to a lighthearted comedy, even a retarded one), you’re left with that core audience of Aniston die-hards and people whose showing of All About Steve was sold out, a small demographic indeed.  On the plus side, it managed a simultaneously lamer and less descriptive title than All About Steve, no small feat.  It’s looking like an early front runner for the Oscar in not giving a sh’t.

Jennifer’s Body barely made more than Sorority Row last weekend, and if I had to guess why, I’d say it probably wasn’t the best idea to play the commercials starring an already over-exposed Megan Fox over and over ad nauseum during football and UFC.  I felt like I’d already seen it 12 times by the time it came out.  You see, we men like variety, isn’t that right, hard drive full of exotic porn.  But then, what do I know, I’m not an analyst.  I’m just a guy who likes cats wearing costumes.  Uh, I mean pussy. Read the rest of this entry »

I was hoping to get to this before your mom sends it to you as an email attachment, but Jennifer’s Body just released a bunch of new clips including MEGAN FOX AND AMANDA SEYFRIED’S LESBIAN KISS*.  It doesn’t have MEGAN FOX NAKED or a NIPPLE SLIP MEGAN FOX SCISSORING AN ASIAN STUMP PORN WHORE UPSKIRT CAM, but I guess it’s still pretty newsworthy.  (I realize I already posted the kiss part, but this time the scene is in context.  You know, because that’s important.)  She actually does pretty well in these, acting-wise.  I’m not convinced that she isn’t the terrible actress we all came to know and love in Transformers, but she seems like a good fit for Diablo Cody’s campykitschycutesy dialog.  I gather the plot is that some mean boys went “all Benihana on her ass” and left her for dead and now she’s out for revenge. I guess these slasher movies always have to have some crazy revenge motive. Does it really matter? Just once I’d like to see one where the final scene is, “Huh, I never thought about why I did it. When it comes down to it, I guess I’m just kind of a c’nt.”

*I admit most of my experience with lesbians involves porn and walking the dog in Park Slope, but I always thought a “lesbian kiss” involved tongue.  And/or fisting.

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Entertainment Tonight recently did a piece on Diablo Cody’s Jennifer’s Body and something something something MEGAN FOX AND AMANDA SEYFRIED LESBIAN KISS!!!  Luckily the lesbian kiss (also the name of a cover band I used to play in) comes just 12 seconds in, because the rest of it is like watching Death Proof over and over with the car crashes cut out.  “Please, tell us more about your character, Evil Cheerleader #4, I’m fascinated by her psychology.”  Amanda Seyfried (who’s playing a character named “Needy”, apparently), actually manages to come off dumber than her Mean Girls character.  It’s like she has ESPN or something.  And then Diablo Cody shows up wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and a leopard-print trench coat to make me regret ever defending her.  Please tell me that’s a costume.  It looks like she’s interviewing for the Katy Perry detective agency.

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