Except for a couple great scenes near the end, Young Adult doesn’t quite work, which is excruciating to say about a film with Patton Oswalt in it. Written by Diablo Cody, directed by Jason Reitman, and starring Charlize Theron, who won an Oscar for daring to play ugly, it has all the right ingredients. Up in the Air gets better every time I watch it, there was always a solid movie in Juno once you dug through the kitschy language and rightful backlash, and it should go without saying that Patton Oswalt is the best chubby sidekick a protagonist could have. But Young Adult gets caught in an awkward middle ground, where it can’t seem to decide whether it wants to defy genre like Up in the Air or be a full-on comedic romp like Bad Santa. It’s too stereotypical to be poignant, and not enough laughs for escapism.

Charlize Theron plays Mavis Gary, a hard-drinking party girl (transitioning uneasily towards a party lady) who writes young adult fiction under a pseudonym when she’s not too hungover or watching reality TV (you’d be surprised at how many friends I have with this very occupation — I assume Diablo Cody probably does too). One day, in the middle of Kardashians and Diet Coke binge, Mavis (OH THE QUIRKY NAMES) gets an email from an ex, (BUDDY SLADE, SMALL-TOWN LEGEND) inviting her to a baby shower. Jealous of his stable life and seeming happiness, she gets it in her head that she’s going to leave Minneapolis (“the mini apple!”) with her pomeranian and mini Cooper in tow, and head back to Mercury, Minnesota to rescue her ex from his life of boring domesticity.

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After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Young Adult, the new film from Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman. A lot of people still like to sh*t on Diablo Cody, and I can kiiinda see why, but I thought her recent response to Bobcat Goldthwait was dead on (“Dear Bobcat: Juno is my growly voice.”). Also, Jason Reitman rules.

Theron plays Mavis Gary, a writer of teen literature who returns to her small hometown to relive her glory days and attempt to reclaim her happily married high school sweetheart (Patrick Wilson). When returning home proves more difficult than she thought, Mavis forms an unusual bond with a former classmate (Patton Oswalt) who hasn’t quite gotten over high school, either.

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I hadn’t been covering the Evil Dead remake rumors and counter rumors going around for the past few days, because people have been talking about that sh*t for like 10 years now and it usually amounts to less than my life up to this point. But that was before a fairly official-sounding press release from Ghost House went out. It announced that Diablo Cody was re-writing a script by Rodo Sayagues and Federico ‘Fede’ Alvarez, the latter of whom is set to direct. Honest to blog, it’s true. Are you jeally? Anyway, it was exciting news for me, because I went to high school with at least four guys named “Federico Alvarez.”

Sam Raimi and original producing partners Rob Tapert and Bruce Campbell (who also starred in the original franchise) are gearing up to remake their cult sensation THE EVIL DEAD through their long standing Ghost House Pictures partnership. Raimi and Tapert were such instant fans of Fede Alvarez’s short film “Panic Attack” that they set up a blind deal with the filmmaker and through that process have attached Fede Alvarez to write and direct the film. Alvarez wrote the script with Rodo Sayagues. Academy Award® winning screenwriter Diablo Cody is currently doing revisions on the draft. Ghost House is committed to renewing the franchise and has the film on the fast track.

Raimi wrote, directed and, along with Tapert and Campbell, produced the original horror classic THE EVIL DEAD that tells the story of five twenty-something friends who become holed up in a remote cabin where they discover a Book Of The Dead. An archaeologist’s tape recording reveals that the ancient text was discovered among the Khandarian ruins of a Sumerian civilization. Playing the taped incantations, the youths unwittingly summon up dormant demons living in the nearby woods, which possess the youngsters in succession until only one is left intact to fight for survival. THE EVIL DEAD spawned a franchise with the equally successful installments EVIL DEAD II and ARMY OF DARKNESS. [PressRelease via /Film]

I think it goes without saying that nerds are going to be pretty pissed about this one, and for good reason. Why do you need to remake a horror film? That sh*t is the easiest thing to write in the world. A girl gets possessed by a demon. Some kids get eaten by killer piranhas. There’s a mutant alligator, and it’s really big. A couple adopts a baby, and it turns out to be a secret dwarf hooker. You can’t take five seconds and come up with something new? If I want to see a modern take on a Sam Raimi movie, I’ll watch Drag Me to Hell.

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This was a particularly interesting chart that was a late addition to my career graphs post the other day. Wanted to make sure you saw it, because, you know… creepy.

MOAR TRADE NEWS, NOM NOM NOM

Ben Stiller & Vince Vaughn in negotiations to co-star in Neighborhood Watch. Vince Vaughn hasn’t seemed to care about making good movies in half a decade and Ben Stiller… was in Little Fockers… but hey! Remember Zoolander?  Written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg (Superbad), NW is a “sci-fi comedy about a suburban neighborhood watch group that uncovers a plot to destroy the world.” On the possible plus side, it’s set to be directed by Akiva Shaffer (Guy 1, the Ape Sh*t Killer from The Lonely Island), and if anyone can bring back good, dumb comedy (as opposed to the obnoxious, pandering Kevin James sh*t), it’s the Lonely Island guys.  Or it could just be another way for Vince Vaughn to eat food and collect a paycheck. We’ll see. [THR]

Disney is making a movie about The Matterhorn ride. Compared to the thousand other idiotic adaptations in the works, this actually doesn’t seem so bad. At least it has a theme, a setting, and a villain. But hey, didn’t they already make this?  Coincidentally, “The Matterhorn” is my favorite depraved sex practice. …If you don’t know what it is, sorry, bro, I’m not telling. Though it is variously known as a “Stinky Yeti.” [THR]

What did you do to Anna Faris’ hair, you bastards?! (Set pic from Sacha Coen’s The Dictator). A girl who looks like Anna Faris getting this kind of haircut should be grounds for divorce. I know that’s sexist, but I feel like there should be some middleground between “whorish Barbie doll designed for my amusement” and visually insulting attempt to become an old lady. [GettyImages]

Diablo Cody to direct Lamb of God. Writer of Juno and Jennifer’s Body set to make her directing debut in a story about “a young conservative religious woman who loses her faith after a plane crash, decides to go to Las Vegas to live the life of a sinner, and on her journey finds her way back to her faith.” I’ve always said that once you strip away the grating slang and kitschy hipster music, Juno is a solid movie.  But having seen Jennifer’s Body, I wonder if that’s mostly a credit to Jason Reitman. Hard to say at this point, but I am drafting plans for Burnsy, Ufford, and I to write more frat fiction under the pen name “DiaBro Cody.” |ComingSoon|

Kevin Smith Made a Distribution Deal and Sh*t. Read the rest of this entry »

Seth Meyers tells the story of the “boner ghost” from the MacGruber set at SXSW. The most entertaining part is his spot-on Will Forte impression.  Between this and Tina Fey’s Tracy Morgan from this morning, I’m starting to think SNL should just be an hour of the cast making fun of each other.  “Hurrrr, look at me, I’m Kenan Thompson!” *puts on fat suit, farts* |via Videogum|

At the Movies canceled. I guess this is sad.  I dunno, throughout all the different hosts, I always liked reading the the print reviews more than the show.  Especially Ben Lyons, because he wrote his on one of those dials that you spin around and sometimes it makes a cow sound.  Lyons called the cancellation, “Hearbreaking, homey.”  |InsideMovies|

Tom Cruise to play a rodeo champ. Cruise is set to take the lead in Paper Wings, in which he’d play a rodeo champ opposite Reese Witherspoon, an “up-and-coming country singer.”  Scientists are calling it the most believable casting since the time he played a samurai.   |LATimes|

Mandate pictures moving forward with Diablo Cody movie. Cody calls Young Adult a “serious and f*cked up” story about “a thirtysomething, divorced, young-adult fiction writer in Minneapolis who returns to her hometown to chase the ex-boyfriend, who’s now married with a kid, that got away.”  Then she asked if I liked Thai food and queefed in my face.  |THR|

And from DailyWhat, this Drunk History isn’t new, but it is awesome.

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