After all the TV spots, we finally have a full trailer for Manny Shyamalongalong’s The Last Airbender, starring captain sullen face from Slumdog (Dev Patel).  It looks okay, I guess.  Certainly a lot better than other CGI-heavy fantasy flicks like Prince of Persia or Clash of the Titans.  But then M. Night always had a knack for visuals, it was more the crappy stories that were parables for how everyone who criticized him sucks that people had a problem with.

Air, Water, Earth, Fire. Four nations tied by destiny when the Fire Nation launches a brutal war against the others. A century has passed with no hope in sight to change the path of this destruction. Caught between combat and courage, Aang (Noah Ringer) discovers he is the lone Avatar with the power to manipulate all four elements. Aang teams with Katara (Nicola Peltz), a Waterbender, and her brother, Sokka (Jackson Rathbone), to restore balance to their war-torn world.

Meanwhile, his uncle Charlie, a Drinkblender, sat around all day making martinis.  Everyone always liked Charlie.

Aang, huh? This must be that show that deaf kid was trying to tell me about.

The Last Airbender is Manny Shyamalan’s adaptation of the animated Nickelodeon cartoon starring the sullen kid from Slumdog Millionaire.  This is the first teaser for it, and it doesn’t give us much.  Just a bald kid with an arrow on his head fighting some candles with a stick. I’m guessing he’s the one or the chosen one or the grand imperial wizard or Harry Potter’s f*ckbuddy or whatever.

The story follows the adventures of Aang, a ten year old successor to a long line of Avatars, who must put his childhood ways aside [isn't it "childish ways"?] and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water, Earth and Air nations. [TrailerAddict]

And how will he do that???  You guessed it, he’s going to steal a Heart ring from Captain Planet.  That Heart ring guy was always a pussy anyway.

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Oh man.  So Manny Shyamalan, fresh off his latest huge flop, is directing The Last Airbender, an adaptation of an anime series from Nickelodeon, starring Dev “Captain Sullenface” Patel from Slumdog Millionaire.  Shyamalan, anime, Nickelodeon, Slumdog… The only way I could hate this idea any worse is if you added “featuring a cameo by white guys with dreadlocks, soundtrack by Coldplay, a commentary by Tyra Banks and the cast of The View, and a special appearance by my asshole neighbor who listens to R&B with his speaker on the floor.”  Oh God.  Can you imagine?  This is going to be more self-serious than Jesse James and Def Poetry Night put together.  Every time I hear about this project, I turn into this guy.

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