After the jump I’ve got the trailer for The Taking of Pelham 123, the second movie in only a couple months to star John Travolta as some kind of goateed hard ass.  Look, man, nothing’s gonna make us forget this nightmare.  It was directed by Ridley Scott’s brother Tony and co-stars Denzell Washington.  He and Travolta play sort of a flipped-flopped version of John McClaine and the fat guy from Family Matters in Die Hard.  James Gandolfini plays the mayor, and I’ll bet $1000 he turns out to be the bad guy.  Long story short, it would be lot better if it were about the three sexy Pelham sisters.  Or Madame Pelham, who’s 123 (for the novelty value).
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^{…with their MONEY! And their BIG NOSES!}

After the jump, I’ve got your daily update about what the Satanic Jews of Hollywood (great name for a band, btw) are up to from Louis Farrakhan.  Apparently they’ve been busy: putting out American Gangster, taking over BET, giving shows to the Kings of Comedy, drinking the blood of infants, etc.

“But you gonna take Denzell… One of our BRIGHTEST stars… That you gave an OSCAR to… NOT FOR THE MOVIE MALCOLM X [Editor's Note: You mean that guy you helped kill?]… Not for the movie THE BONE COLLECTOR… Yoooooooouuuuuu gave him an Oscar for playing a corRUPted black policeman.  …You didn’t give Halle Berry an Oscar for her many wonderful roles… [Editor’s Note: ...such as?] But you gave her an Oscar for her nasty little role with a white man.”

See, everything sounds profound if you just shout three words and then pause for ten seconds.  THIS MORNING! ….I awoke  …FROM A SLUMBER!  …I was hungOVER!  …and I had …an enormous BOWEL MOVEMENT!  He’s basically Christopher Walken with a conspiracy complex and a busted volume control.  And officially the last person in the country who remembers The Bone Collector.

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I was too busy running through the streets of Harlem yelling “Kill whitey!” last night to see this myself, but apparently there were some eerie movie-related coincidences in both candidates’ choice of theme music last night.

Consider: McCain left the Arizona stage to part of Hans Zimmer’s score from “Crimson Tide.” (This part, actually.) The 1995 Tony Scott film focused on a career Navy man (Gene Hackman), labeled a maverick by some, who is stripped of his authority and ultimately beaten by a young black guy, somewhat new to the scene (Denzell Washington).

Then there was Obama, who left the stage to the strings of Trevor Rabin’s score from “Remember the Titans.” The 2000 Disney/Bruckheimer joint followed an African-American coach who brought together whites and blacks to win a championship.

This is obviously more than coincidence, but is this genuinely telling? Someone chose these songs on purpose. [MTV]

I can’t answer that question.  But if I’d been a campaign strategist, Denzell would’ve played Obama in all the commercials, with Morgan Freeman delivering inner monologue voice overs a lá The Wonder Years.

Also, and this is neither here nor there, but Robby the Republican Anteater is so upset he needs a hug (thanks to Brendan for that).  Alternately, he could be Italian Anteater.  “Ey, I’m fackin’ walkin’ heah!”

Shock, disbelief, hysteria, peturpitudenousness – these are just some of the words that describe my reaction to today’s news that Hollywood may use the words "based on a true story" loosely. A new report implies movies may bend the truth, "glamorizing" or "romanticizing" events that were in reality far less cinematic.

Specifically at issue is Ridley Scott’s American Gangster, which purports to tell the true story of Harlem druglord Frank Lucas.  On Wednesday, several DEA agents who investigated the Lucas case sued NBC Universal for defamation.  (Also at issue is whether Lucas ever smuggled heroin in caskets, though I hardly see why that matters) 

Lucas is shown to turn informant, specifically against corrupt police officers. A legend at the end of the movie claims three-fourths of New York’s Drug Enforcement Agency were convicted thanks to Lucas’ cooperation.
"(Lucas) was my informant for years," [former DEA Agent Jack] Toal says. "He never mentioned any crooked DEA agent or cop."
A DEA spokesman in Washington, Garrison Courtney, confirmed that no agents were ever charged with wrongdoing in the case.  

Three-fourths, none – hey, tomato tomahto.  I’ll tell you this though, the DEA is guilty of totally harshing my mellow on numerous occasions.  And Denzell of giving me a bad case of jungle fever. Wait, is that racist? Whatever, it sounds better than Finding An African-American Man Attractivitis. 

The Great Debaters (watch the higher res trailer at Yahoo) is Denzel Washington’s sophomore effort (Antwone Fisher was his first) as a director; starring Denzel Washington, Forest Whitaker, and… Denzel Whitaker.  No, Seriously.  And none of them are related. 

Anyway, it’s another heartwarming, based-on-a-true story tale, this time about Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at Wiley College in Texas, who in 1935, inspired students to form the school’s first debate team, which went on to challenge Harvard in the national championship.

It’s hard to draw too many conclusions from the trailer – Denzel and Forest Whitaker are two of the best actors working today, but movies like this range from great to diabetes inducing.  I’ll tell you this though, I saw this trailer this weekend when it premiered before American Gangster (which, as expected, was solid), and when the frame came up saying "From Producer, Oprah Winfrey", people laughed.  But maybe that’s unfair; James Frey didn’t write this one and Oprah has money – who turns down money?

The most appalling part for me was the end of the trailer when they announced the title: The Great Debaters.  Are you kidding me?  For once, both Master Debaters and Cunning Linguists are applicable and you pick neither?  It’s a slap in the face, I tell you.