Self-explanatory. |via ScreenJunkies|

MORNING LINKS

This week on the Frotcast, Lindy shows up drunk, Burnsy drops by to talk Wigger Day, and we make fun of motion-capture. What more could you want? |Frotcast|

The Incredible History of The Muppets, Sesame Street, and Our Favorite Athletes |With Leather|

Meme Watch: Obama’s Hip Hop BBQ |UPROXX|

Did Kanye and Jay-Z Defeat the Watch the Throne Album Leak? |Smoking Section|

The Louis C.K./Dane Cook Scene |Warming Glow|

Everyone Has Been Using Their Couches Incorrectly |Gamma Squad|

Remember Scumbag Steve? Here’s Scumbag Britain. I like how we took an American guy’s hat and used it to make fun of England. That’s classic us. |via Reddit|

Here are pictures of Samuel L. Jackson golfing. |TheSuperficial|

What meal is this robot making? |Videogum|

Ten more words you didn’t know were trademarked. |MentalFloss|

In honor of international beer day, match the beer to the beer movie. |ScreenJunkies|

Newsweek is playing a joke on Michele Bachman. Not cool, Newsweek, not cool. |TheDailyWhat|

“Devin” has a dude’s name, but the sweet boobs of a chick. |GorillaMask|

Five fun things to do at your temp job. (READ FILMDRUNK!) |HolyTaco|

People Who Got Owned by the Internet |UGO|

The Saga of Steve Buscemi’s Porch |FARK|

10 of the Best Five Second Films |Unreality|

Nominate for Comments of the Week. Subscribe to the Frotcast. Fan us on Facebook (for bonus pictures and link-type fun).

Don't tell mah derp, da derpy derp a-derp, da Derp. Derp. Derp. A-derpy derrrr...

One of the immutable laws of network television these days is that if a show is about singing and/or dancing, the old people who still watch network TV will love it (the Flyover States seem to have a real love-hate relationship with the gays).  Thus it’s not surprising that someone wanted to remake the singin’-and-dancin’ 1984 classic, Footloose. At first the plan was have it star Hollywood super twink Zac Efron, with tiny dog lover Kenny Ortega directing.  Then Efron left and was replaced with eyebrowier twink Chace Crawford.  Then Ortega left, and that fell through, and now Black Snake Moan‘s Craig Brewer is directing, because I guess he needed the money.  Here we have the first batch of pictures, starring Efron/Crawford’s replacement, box office megastar, uh… Kenny Wormald.  Seriously, Kenny Wormald.  That’s his name.  It sounds like the fictional name you’d give to your third choice.  But from the looks of it, he can sure, uh… wear sunglasses.  This dude is so cool, he doesn’t have TIME to hem his seams. OR wear shirts under his hoodies. Hey, man, that’s, like, your grandpa’s trip.

Oh hey look, Andie McDowell is still alive.  And it looks like she’s married to the hollowed out shell of Dennis Quaid.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s fun seeing how much G.I. Joe is going to suck, and in that regard, this latest clip DOES. NOT. DISAPPOINT.  This must be some of the finest dialogue ever hastily scribbled on a napkin in crayon.

GENERAL HAWK: [To Duke] You scored in the top half percent of all the people we’ve ever tested.  And Rip, if we average your scores with Dukes, you’d pass too.
[Laughter]

AHAHAHAHA, GET IT?? IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE THE BLACK GUY ISN’T SMART!  LET’S ALL TAKE OUR SHIRTS OFF AND WORK OUT!  Later, Ripcord decides to chat up Scarlett while she reads “The Aufbay Principle” – it’s a book about science, because she is a scientist, you see, and scientists read science books while they work out.  Don’t let her jiggly sports bra fool you! (the extra ‘T’ in Scarlett stands for “Titties for days, y’all!)

RIP:  Look, I think you and me got off on the wrong foot.  See, I’m attracted to you, and you, you’re attracted to me.
SCARLETT: We’re attracted to each other.
RIP: THANK YOU!
SCARLETT:  That’s what you’re saying.  It’s not what I’m saying.
RIP: It’s not?
SCARLETT: Attraction is an emotion.  Emotions are not based in science.  And if you can’t quantify or prove that something exists… in my mind it doesn’t.

Oh right, she doesn’t believe EMOTIONS EXIST, because EMOTIONS aren’t BASED IN SCIENCE.  Because SHE is a SCIENTIST, you see!  WOOOF.  Man, I gotta find me a redheaded skeptic.  They always have awesome jugs.

We’re less than a month away from the G.I. Joe release and the promotion machine is kicking into high gear, probably hoping to squeeze every last dollar out of opening weekend before the inevitable 70% second-weekend drop.  The picture above is from a batch of publicity stills that have been going around.  Funny how you can tell a movie’s going to suck from a single frame.  I see Dennis Quaid’s wearing his blue camo, in case of a sea assault, or maybe green would’ve clashed with his hat.  And am I seeing little shiny things on his uniform?  What are those, military-grade rhinestones?  Ooh, look out!  There’s a Borg behind you!  And he’s got… a vest and a turtleneck!

G4 recently debuted this trailer for Pandorum, starring Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid…

…as two spacemen who awaken aboard their ship with no memory of their mission or identities. The film opens in theaters on September 4th, 2009.

So, aliens on a spaceship, huh?  How many times have we made this movie now?  I realize there aren’t any new concepts, but at least maybe we could combine old ones?  Like maybe they’re on a spaceship full of aliens… and one of the aliens has to tell his parents he’s gay.  Or maybe they’re on a spaceship full of aliens… and they entertain the nazis by playing the flute.

UPDATE: Ufford over at WarmingGlow just alerted me to the presence of Cam Gigandet. That confirms it, this will suck. Cam Gigandet = suck. It’s science.