(Dennis Hopper and Victoria Duffy at the annual Dress Like a Couch charity gala.)

I don’t really want to cover this because it’s depressing as hell, but Dennis Hopper was in Blue Velvet and True Romance and Apocalypse Now so here we are.  From Page Six:

The star, who is dying of prostate cancer, is desperately trying to hang on until his divorce from wife Victoria Duffy becomes final. A longtime family confidant told The Post that Hopper is angry that wife Victoria Duffy is trying to bleed him for every last nickel — although he’s given her a ranch, museum-quality art works and a wardrobe of couture dresses.
“Dennis told me, ‘I’ve worked so hard to give Victoria everything she wanted, but it only fueled her appetite for more and more luxury,’ ” the source said.
Hopper is at an LA-area hospital surrounded by his kids and pals — not to mention an ex-wife.
“I wish Victoria the best, but I only want to spend these difficult days surrounded by my children and close friends,” Hopper said in a statement released yesterday.
The 73-year-old filed for divorce Thursday from Duffy, 41, to keep her from contesting his will, which leaves her only one-quarter of his estate. They’ve been married for 13½ years and have a 6-year-old daughter, Galen.
Duffy had been expecting much more than a quarter of Hopper’s estate — and was also fuming to learn she was not named executor of the will, a source said.
Sources close to Duffy’s camp insist the “Hoosiers” star is too drugged up to make any key decisions.
“He is mentally incapacitated from the enormous amounts of medication he is on given his state,” a Duffy confidant told The Huffington Post.

Oh, now he’s too drugged up to make decisions?  She didn’t seem too concerned about that when she was, you know, marrying Dennis Hopper.

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Dennis Hopper’s manager confirmed that the 73-year-old has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and will be canceling all commitments to focus on treatment — a story USA Today chose to accompany with this banner ad asking “who is pop culture’s biggest mover and shaker?” with pictures of Kate Gosselin, Ivanka Trump, and Khloe Kardashian.  Maybe it was their subtle way of saying, “Perhaps not being alive right now wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

Manager Sam Maydew says the 73-year-old actor and artist is being treated through a “special program” at the University of Southern California. Asked about Hopper’s prognosis, Maydew said, “We’re hoping for the best.”

In related (crappy) news, Nic Cage’s father (and Francis Ford Coppola’s brother), August Coppola, died of a heart attack yesterday at age 75.

Coppola taught literature and served as dean of creative arts at San Francisco State University. Besides Cage, Coppola is survived by sons Christopher and Marc and three grandchildren.

So that’s pretty crappy.  Making a joke about this would be in pretty poor taste, so I’ll simply go out on a limb here and say that Weston Coppola Cage will be wearing black to the funeral.

Kevin Costern’s Swing Vote is getting into the viral marketing game, recently releasing these campaign videos for the two guys running for president in the movie, Donald Greenleaf (Dennis Hopper) and Andrew Boone (Kelsey Grammer).   I can understand them seeing the awesome Tropic Thunder viral campaign and wanting to compete, but this is just sad. I’m pretty sure viral marketing isn’t supposed to make you hate anything associated with it.  These videos look like what happens when the owner of the local car dealership directs his own commercials.  In fact, I think Fred and Sharon made these.

The is the trailer for Sleepwalking.

It stars Charlize Theron as Joleen*, a chick who must be a redneck because they named her Joleen, who abandons her 12-year-old daughter Tara (AnnaSophia** Robb) to take off with some dude.  Joleen’s brother (Nick Stahl) takes the girl to Dennis Hopper’s house and drama ensues. Opens March 14th (that’s Ides of March Eve Day!).  I can’t wait.

*I’m pretty sure they just combined her character in Monster (“Aileen”) with her character in North Country (“Josey”) to come up with this one.
*“AnnaSophia”?  Seriously?  Look, parents, you get one goddamned name and one goddamned name only – use it wisely, because I’m not wasting five syllables on your stupid kid.