One of my all-time favorite guilty pleasure movies is 1993′s Demolition Man, in which cryogenically frozen Sly Stallone wakes up in a squeaky clean future where all the restaurants are Taco Bell and Sandra Bullock cleans poop off her butt with three sea shells.  Stallone (as John Spartan)’s adversary in the film is fellow unfrozen psychopath Simon Phoenix (IT TAKES A MANIAC TO CATCH A MANIAC, OOH RAH!). Phoenix, portrayed by Wesley Snipes as a character based on Dennis Rodman, wakes up in the future with no friends or sidekicks, which presented a bit of a problem for screenwriters Daniel Waters, Robert Reneau, and Peter Lenkov.  How would the audience know what Simon Phoenix was thinking?  To whom would he address thoughts that clearly needed spelling out, such as “Edgar Friendly, prepare for Simon Phoenix?”  Would Wesley Snipes simply communicate with his face and not talk for ninety percent of the film?  No, instead they opted for a simpler solution: having Simon Phoenix talk to himself.  A lot.  As you can see in this supercut, edited by a dude named Jake, Phoenix not only talks to himself and no one in particular, but also to computers, ATMs, guns, mannequins, manhole covers, cars, night sticks, bushes, and the spirit of Denis Leary.  Though I bet if 1993 Wesley Snipes had it to do over again, he’d probably say, “Hey, self, it’s me, Wesley. Pay your taxes, bro. Trust me.”

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Be warned, as the rumor I’m about to share is about as reliable as putting the names of 100 actors on a giant bingo card and waiting to see which one your cat takes a dump on, but Hollyscoop “hears buzz” that Sam Worthington “may” be starring in Flash Gordon.

The role calls for Flash as a handsome polo player and Yale graduate, who travels to the planet Mongo, where it’s discovered that the meteors are weapons devised by Ming the Merciless, evil ruler of Mongo.

If true (note: it’s not true), this is all part of Hollywood’s plan for Sam Worthington to become to action movies what Taco Bell was to restaurants in Demolition Man.  (If you enjoyed that, please buy my book, SAT Analogies for Huge Nerds).  Cinematical says:
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Denis Leary is promoting his new book in this video by agreeing to share stories about the films he’s done.

Demolition Man – giant piece of shit.  Wesley Snipes was insane, because he insisted on doing all of his own action stuff.  And then they’d wait until they’d wrapped him, and then they’d have the stunt guy come in and have him redo all the action stuff.  Sylvester Stallone had his own driving range, and a golf pro on set all 17 hours a day while filming.

The Ref – greatest Christmas movie ever made [Editor’s Note: it is pretty solid.].  The studio, which was Disney, wanted Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold to play the married couple.  And that was the day that Ted Demme said, ‘F-ck you’.  [and cast Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis, a wise decision IMHO].

Anyway, it’s a good video and I wish more actors (or what have you) would do stuff like this.  However, Demolition Man a piece of shit?  How dare you, sir.  The three shells?  Murder Death Kill?  Dinners at Taco Bell?  John Spartan??  EDGAR FRIENDLY WE HARDLY KNEW YE!  …Sorry. But I’d rather people insult my dead grandmother than Demolition Man.