When I heard Diora Baird was playing an Orion Slave Girl in Star Trek, I was rightly tumescent, because Diora Baird’s breasts are made from the laughter of children and that mixture of maple syrup and melted butter that dribbles down the side of your pancakes.  Then the movie came out and deflated my wiener with the one-two punch of the lack of beautiful Baird breasts and Zachary Quinto’s intrusive eyebrows.  Today, we can finally see the Diora Baird scene that didn’t make the movie.  And it’s… an even bigger disappointment than her not being in the movie, somehow.  Dear JJ Abrams: you hired Diora Baird for your movie and you kept her fully clothed?  You’re worse than Stalin.  You’re like Hitler, if Hitler had promised the Jews ice cream before he gassed them, and then kicked a puppy.  Yours in undying hatred, Vince.

I also like how the scene involves Kirk apologizing to an Orion Slave Girl for using her.  Dude, she’s a slave girl. It’s in the title.  You don’t have to treat them like Dilythian Equality Womyn.

[video via ToplessRobot]

This is a just-released deleted scene from Star Trek.  I loved the movie, but this highlights the one aspect I hated — shaky-cam, quick-cut action sequences that give you no sense of the spatial awareness of a scene, just the cliff’s notes cause and effect.  Anyway, I’ll let /Film describe the context because that’s easiest for me.

JJ Abrams shot a sequence for the Star Trek reboot featuring a few members of the infamous alien race, the Klingons. The scene featured Nero [Eric Bana] chained to a table being interrogated by the masked, ruffle-headed creatures with Centurion slugs who are looking to find out information on the future. The sequence basically explained what Nero was up to in the missing years. This is one of the deleted scenes in the prison break sequence that has found its way online to promote the upcoming DVD release.

Wait, so this was supposed to be the scene that finally gives us Klingons and now that it’s here they’re wearing a mask the whole time?  That’s like paying for sex and then finding out you have to wear a condom.  Relax bitch I told you I was clean.

I haven’t seen Paranormal Activity yet so I don’t know how spoilery this original ending is in terms of the version that’s playing in theaters right now.  But I wouldn’t recommend watching the clip if you haven’t seen it yet.  Or if you have literally anything better to do, anything at all.  Even work.  Seriously, the rest of the movie isn’t all like this, is it?  At one point it’s just a stationary shot of a chick rocking back and forth for like four full minutes with nothing happening.  If I wanted watch people rock themselves back and forth all day I’d teach public school in L.A. Zing. RopeofSilicon sez:

I will say this, watching it on a computer is extremely uneventful and not at all indicative of the theatrical experience. On top of that, this ending is nowhere near as effective as the one in theaters.

I’ve heard the new ending is so scary that if you watch it you will literally die.

This deleted scene from Terminator 3 (recently dug up by /Film) helps answer a question I never once thought to ask – why do the Terminators look like Arnold Schwartzenegger?  (I always assumed it was because robots are strong).  But this clip seems to suggest that Skynet used a real soldier as a model, “Chief Master Sergeant William Candy,” who, you guessed it, looks just like Arnold.  Only he has a silly accent.  Why?  DUH, because silly accents are funny.  Man, I’m kicking myself for never seeing this.  If this was a deleted scene, imagine what they must’ve kept in!

It was probably a little unfair of me to skip all the good stuff David Carradine did and go straight to the ropes-tied-around-the-genitals-in-Bangkok jokes.  As penance, here’s a deleted scene from Kill Bill in which Carradine has an awesome sword fight with Michael Jai White, aka Black Dynamite.  White’s scenes got cut from Kill Bill, probably because he tried to talk like The Stath the whole time.  “Oi, todaiy’s da day you doy, donnit.  Now ‘and me moy sword, ya worfless cunts.”

…Wow, this whole “tribute post” idea got away from me pretty fast, didn’t it.  Anyway, R.I.P., homey.  (*pours out some KY on the ground*)
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