Sorry for these lightning-round posts folks, but I think you’ll agree that none of these deserve a whole post for themselves. What do they look like, your mom?
Dead Snow, the Norwegian Nazi-Zombie movie has a new trailer. It’s out in limited release on June 19th. This trailer gives you a better idea of the story, which isn’t really a good thing, since the entire story consists of “There are zombies and the zombies are nazis.” The blood-puking clip is far more effective, I think. But I say that about everything.
I’ll take pretty much any excuse I can to post this video, but today I have a good one: the writer/director behind Død Snø (the movie this clip comes from, which opens in June) has a new project in the works.
Tommy Wirkola has an idea: “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.” Wirkola pitched Will Ferrell’s production company on the idea of exploring how things played out for the poor siblings 15 years after that whole gingerbread house incident. Simply put, they’re now specialized bounty hunters looking to put down the cackling black-hat set.
“The idea is, they’ve grown up and they hunt witches,” Adam McKay said. “It’s a hybrid sort of old-timey feeling, yet there’s pump-action shotguns. Modern technology but in an old style. We heard it and we were just like, ‘That’s a freakin’ franchise! You could make three of those!’” [Yahoo]
Okay, settle down, spaz. In the original, Hansel and Gretel burned the witch alive in an oven. But if I know anything about bounty hunters, it’s that the worst thing they do to anyone is shoot them with mace or paintball guns. Oh, and they hate black people. So basically, this is a modernized version of a germanic fairy tale in which the protagonists burn people in ovens and hate black people. Talk about The Reader all over again.
Død Snø, aka Dead Snow, a Norwegian film about Nazi zombies and the møøse who bit their sister, has been picked up by IFC Films. They plan a theatrical release later this year. I know I like to complain about zombies as a tired concept a lot, but that’s mainly because George Romero keeps trying to pitch them as a timely metaphor. The makers of Dead Snow clearly realize that zombies are much more effective as a metaphor for a guy getting blood puked on his face, or cutting off his own arm with a chainsaw. That kind of symbolism is as old as time. Older, even.
On the left we have Dead Snow, featuring chainsaw-decapitated Nazi zombies, while on the right we have Crank 2, with metal fingers, track marks and high voltage. I’m gonna have to give a slight edge to Crank 2, if only because it has Jason Statham’s name on it. The name alone is worth at least three Cannibal Corpse albums. Plus, the Stath wouldn’t need a chainsaw, he decapitates Nazis with his dick.
[via Rush Print and IMPA]
Hey, remember how I said every zombie idea has already been done? Case in point, this Norwegian zombie movie, Død Snøw (Dead Snow). It looks a lot like Stone’s War, the Finnish zombie nazi trailer I posted back in March. Oh I know, I’m sure every Scandinavian nazi zombie movie is a unique little flower that’s special in it’s own way. Whatever, don’t look at me, man, the møøse was my sister.
